[Solved] Mid Life Crisis

I'm probably past it now. I did learn to ride a motorbike when I was close to 40 for the first time, but I did only use it for commuting as it was the most sensible way to travel through traffic.

I have been flying a microlight for about 20 years, but a couple of months ago, decided that I really couldn't find the motivation to continue, so I've given that up and started to learn to glide - much more fun not having an engine to rely on. :unsure:

Went straight from L plates to a new 600 bandit, then another, then a firestorm, with a Suzuki Dr350 followed by a ccm 604 dual sport for winter. Got taken off the firestorm by a driver doing a u turn without even looking and after that went for a bmw c 1 for a few years (scooter with seatbelts and safety cell) until giving up earlier this year.

Don't ever buy anything that flies people from eBay - a sure recipe for death, if it's air worthy, then it will be sold through proper channels.

Would contemplate a gyro but they are very expensive to buy, and I've got to the stage where I don't find it fun when you can get in it and you know there's no challenge going from a to b. Gliding is pretty fast and once I've learned, every flight will be a challenge simply to stay in the air, let alone going somewhere. Having said that, if you get the chance, go in a microlight, they are fun and it took 20 years for me to get bored.

Boys and there toys lol

Ak,
Remember growing old is enevatable growing up is optional!

We were at Goodwood last year and I tried out the harley davidson simulator - real bike on stabilisers - fantastic and I still want one.

Need to persuade the boss though!!!

I am a fat old man!!!

It's either a harley or a vespa!!!

I was a Harley chick, the deep roar was very sexy indeed. Only just sold my Jacket on ebay for £100

thats awful, one person ruined your love of motorbikes and forced you to feel the the need to buy the gayest looking bike known to man.
''every flight will be a challenge simply to stay in the air'' you sir have [censored] of steel! personally i'd rather avoid that challenge.
there's a microlight school close to me, il ring them in the summer book a taster flight. its about 6grand to get your licence i think.
and i dont believe you have past your mid life crisis, i believe its just started with your death defying glider antics.
did you use to take your kids up in your microlight? you are actually the coolest dad ever if you did.

😀 Actually, the motorbikes were always a means to get through the traffic, potentially, if I hadn't had the accident, I'd have killed myself on it anyway, and the C1 is actually a real hoot to drive - had one (well a few) for about 8 years.

Used to take my kids up occasionally - my son went up when he was 3 years old initially.

ok, i just saw this topic.
i had my kids young and seemed to experience mid live crisis early/young. What did i do.
uh... not a lot...
it felt like everything was just the way it was and it would go on forever! Work, family, house, bills....
There was the sense of loss of romance in my marriage - i didn't have wife-time: she was drowned in kid-time.
I spent more time at work
I liked my hifi and music.
I did DIY because that had to get done.

That was all some 15 years ago. Now i have a peace with the status quo/ balance of all that stuff because lots of the run-of-the-mill stuff is still there. Love for someone in a relationship doesn't have to be full of romance [even if that is what is hoped for].

I guess through these 15 years after the sense of mid-life-crisis i've done a few things which feel like long lasting investments:
- i have changed the industry i work in. it means i started at the bottom of the pekking order and had no idea what anyting was about. This has meant lots of uncomfortable situations and learning.
- i have become a stay at home dad!!
- my (our) 3 kids seem to have found their life partners and i now get to support them throught their ups and downs.
- i (we) have committed to looking after our 4 year old and all her extra needs.

OKay:
I dyed my hair blonde
i cut my hair short
I started wearing orange clothes
I listened to rebelious music

I guess that I look back and value the years (yes years) of mid life crisis.
/orange

Loved your view of your mid life crisis Mr Orange.

Your life sounds sorted - in a great way.

Oh, I suppose I forgot "the big one" - I split up with my ex. But that had nothing to do with mid-life crisis - it was more to do with the fact that I was fed up of coming third in my wife's priorities behind the kids (they were second, and I had no problem with that) and Gordon (ie the one in the green bottle - and I objected strongly to that).

Not so much of a crisis, more a revelation. 🙂

Have you and your ex's relationship improved over the years since you split actd ?

sorted = not.

we all have choices.
life isn't a bed of roses.

in amongst getting stressed out with things being 'always the same':
- relationship
- responsibilities
- habbits

...there is the scaringly-wonderful thing of wanting to support your adult-child through the Creatively Realistic Actual Passing things [think about it]....

As a parent it is so painful watching your adult-childen going throuth stuff which you want to protect them from - but that is not reality!!
they have to learn and grow through their experiences and the choices they make. It is such a difficult thing to watch your children growing in independance and security as they go through life.

The intersting thing for me from this thread is: how will i support my kids/their-partners as they go through mid-life-crisis (can we abbreviate this a MLC?).
I hope i can take them hanggliding, skinny dipping in the lake, shave their head, walk through town with them wearing a top-hat: somehow finding a way to support them when they are grappling for what to do next...

Nice idea - I'm still trying to get my head round supporting mine, now she is a 16 yo.

She used to hang on my every word and I knew everything - now I know nothing (apparently).

Thinking about it she is more right than she knows :huh:

...Thats so poignant Mr O and i know what you mean...we cant protect them from the realities of life, we just have to be there for them ...no matter how old they are they will always be... my children.

This is where you all are..........

She used to hang on my every word and I knew everything - now I know nothing (apparently).

Isn't that the same with all teenagers ?

I guess so - it feels different when it's your teenager though.

I remember a few years back, I was a football coach for a girls football team and had been bemoaning to a fellow coach my daughters mood swings - he reliably informed me that his N was not like a normal teenager, she was level headed and never had any mood swings. I had a little chuckle knowingly to myself. Six months later he didn't know what had hit him 😆 She was just a late developer teenage mood-wise.

Don't get me started on moody teenagers - in two weeks time I will two of them!!!

I have 2 children who are passed teenage years, and I can honestly say I never went through the usual teenage angst.

However, my third may be starting to make up for it 😆 Well, sometimes anyway.

We had a spectacular tantrum on Sunday evening resulted in my eldest being sent to his room and told to switch off anything electrical such as PC and TV.

Next time I will video it for you Actd - see what you're missing!!!

Oh the Mid Life Crisis.... I think I entered mine a few years ago and I have never really acknowledged it. Looking at this topic though, I think it's probably obvious now that is what I have been going through. Not sure where I could possibly begin to talk about it. Not sure I'm ready to although I am slowly building up to the courage to.

I will comment on the moody teenager bit though as that is 100% relevant to one of the troubles in my life at the moment. I am a step dad to two of them and the female one is going through a particularly difficult time at the moment. Or at least seems to be. To be honest, I think a lot of it is attention seeking. Thing is, she has been such a [censored] to me over the last few months and regularly for the last couple of years that I no longer care. At least, I tell my self that but of course, I wouldn't feel passionately about the situation if I really didn't.

I miss being hugged by her, talked to by her and even being looked at. Yep, I get none of those things and the last time we were close, well, it must be several years ago. As you can imagine, my 'not caring' attitude has caused tensions with my partner and that is completely understandable. Still, I console my self with the fact I am only human and that it's normal to finally stop taking the [censored] (and give it back once in a while.) I don't deserve it and until I am told otherwise, I will stand by that sentiment!

Apologies. didn't mean to bring the tone down.

N.D.

Hi , this is what i did, it caused so much upset with my sd being a madam , I decided to ignore her that way she couldnt get to me or cause me and hubby to argue, yes he tried to make me see sence ! and said U are the adult but I just could not cope, if I let my guard down and was nice to her it back fired, so i shut down and when hubby asked me to speak to her i said NO , i just kept myself busy, she didnt come over as much as she said she didnt feel welcome, to dam right she wasnt, she ruined my wedding, my honey moon , weekends , nasty text, she did everything to split us us, so i shut down to survive. Now things have improved but im still aware , when she says jump Daddy jumps

I'm sorry to hear that, AK57. I guess in a way I have shut down to an extent, just not totally. I see things that bother me and occasionally I will moan or comment. The trick is to think it and not say it (so the mrs tells me!) She is of course, right but as I have zero support from her, parenting wise, it's difficult to see common sense sometimes......

in the end i couldnt just think it and not say it and why should we. I cut off after years of trying, it was to protect myself and it worked, i got my own life and let them get on with it. It is so much better now but not perfect. for instants we went out last week a rare event, and sd knew, then erly evening a text . Dad come and get me now ! Im not staying here any longer (row with her mum), he didnt go as he didnt have the car handy but sd still likes to control

That's my problem to be honest. (The comments.) Everyone is sick of them and I'm sick of the things that make me comment. Because my previous comments have not been welcomed (typically because they are not positive) I am no longer entitled to any thought or opinion of my own. Understandable, I guess.

As long as I am a quiet, yes man, then all is normal for a while. But as soon as I have an idea that is different to my partner's, then it's a row. It's all about control (for her.)

It's a week until xmas and I have no idea how I am going to hold out, as every minute of every day, I want to pack my things.But I don't want to leave and emotionally scar my son.....

Jesus, what a mess.

N.D.

N D it does get better honest. But I still have flash backs and he still waits hand and foot and it was still all my fault. Ignore them its great fun lol
Do things with your son, take him out, be clever dont make it obvious, plan ahead. walk away from any rows(says me who through a glass jug the other ay oopps)
DO NOT LEAVE !

Thought you might be interested to know that I'm still in the relationship. Managed to hang in there and things have improved. Hopefully for the long term. One day at a time is the key.....

N.D.

Thought you might be interested to know that I'm still in the relationship. Managed to hang in there and things have improved. Hopefully for the long term. One day at a time is the key.....

That's good news. What changed and how ? Did you discuss your issues with each other ? have you sought help from somewhere ?

Gooner