[Solved] How I met your mother..........

Random one for me.

I met my ex because my Friend and his wife took over my local heavy metal bar and were hiring bar staff. I turned round to My friend's wife and asked her to hire someone awesome that i can marry.

3 weeks later my ex turns up behind the bar, after a while we ended up together.

My daughter was born, a year and a half were split. that's it really.

...anyway Gooner we are still waiting for your tale otherwise I am going to make one up for you!!!

It's OK Mario ...I've got this one.

This is a story of star-crossed lovers; the young Gooner, from The House of Gooner and his sweetheart Juliet of The house of Spurs [names have been changed to protect the innocent].

Gooner and Juliet were just teenagers when they fell deeply in love, but their families - The Gooners and the Spurs were bitter enemies.

Regardless of the feud between their families they met in secret at London derbies, where he would bravely walk onto the pitch, in a false moustache, clutching the great Jimmy Greaves' hand; King of the Spurs. She, a Tottenham mascot, walking out with George Armstrong; head of the House of Gooner.

They made every effort to conceal their love and arranged a marriage in secret, at an undisclosed, neutral, location somewhere along the Road of The Seven Sisters.

Juliet had a cousin called Linekar, who was a ball boy at the house of Spurs. Linekar recognised Gooner at one of the Tottenham games and threatened to revoke his season ticket. Now, Gooner’s best friend, a chap called McLintock and a bit of a geezer, didn't like this. He tried biting his thumb at Linekar, but that didn't really do anything, so he went to Gooner and said "That lowlife is disrespecting this house; wha' you gonn' do 'bout it".

Gooner protested that he was more a lover than a fighter; causing McLintock, incensed (not least of all by Gooners own cowardly behaviour), to take matters into his own hands: "you is direspecting da family, Linekar, you better takes it back man, or I will bite both my thumbs in your direction". Linekar couldn't understand what he was saying, possibly due to the number of thumbs in his mouth, combined with the affected Ali G accent, so had him evicted from the stands and given a life ban. As McLintock lay on the floor, his life pass seeping from his grasp, he put a curse upon the houses of Gooner and Tottenham "A plague o' both your stadiums" he cried.

Gooner watched his friend motionless on the floor and in a rare moment of anger leapt upon the ball boy Linekar and sliced his season ticket in half. Linekar dropped to his knees and a life time of Tottenham matches passed before his eyes, as his vision slowly faded to a white light at the end of the tunnel.

Now, the Spurs House was a bit miffed by this and insisted that Gooner should have his Gooner colours removed, his season ticket revoked and be sent away from this place and forced to live at the Bridge of Stamford, for ever.

Meanwhile, a marriage was arranged between Juliet and Gasgoyne; a vile man whom she detested, but a great potential leader of the Tottenham family, nonetheless. She could not bear it, her heart belonged to Gooner. So on the night before the wedding, she devised a plan, with a local referee. She was to tear up her season ticket and lie down to sleep, then when Gascoyne realised the he could not attend any matches with Juliet, he would leave her ...the referee would then Selotape her season ticket back together again.

But tragedy ensued. Gascoyne came in to find Juliet asleep with her life pass broken before her. Gooner arrived a moment later and was a bit peeved by what he saw. A fight ensued between Gascoyne and Gooner and Gooner ripped Gascoyne’s season ticket from him, cutting it into many pieces. Gascoyne was broken. Defeated. Gooner then took one last look at his childhood sweetheart, before pulling out his own season ticket and biting it into a thousand pieces. As Juliet awoke and started to Selotape her own pass back together, she realised what had happened and ripping it once again, threw it into the air and dived to the floor in dramatic fashion. The referee was not impressed, but he let it go, just that once.

The heads of the two families, Greavsy and Armstrong met at the scene to find the floor littered and stained with torn shirts, season tickets and Selotape. They looked to each other and agreed it was time to reconcile the lifelong family feud between the Gooners and The Spurs.

...and the rest, as they say, is history.

[Scene closes with a young Dimitar Berbatov, in cleaners overalls, sweeping up the fragments of ticket. The curtain falls. Sounds of weeping from the terraces.]

Brilliant 😆

Nice - like the literary reference as well.

Actually Mrs Gooner is a Man Utd fan (though my brother is a Spurs fan).

I met Mrs Gooner, for the first time at a nightclub. She was there with a group of her friends (one of who I recognised from work) and I was there with some of my mates. I ended up snogging one of her friends at the end of the evening (totally missing the fact that Mrs Gooner had been trying to chat to me all evening).

A few weeks later I realised that she worked at the same company as me, we got chatting on cigarette breaks. Eventually I summoned up the courage to invite her out for a drink and the rest as they say is history.

Sorry not really the Shakespearean epic you were hoping for.

Gooner

A few weeks later I realised that she worked at the same company as me, we got chatting on cigarette breaks. Eventually I summoned up the courage to invite her out for a drink and the rest as they say is history.

Oh dear Mr Gooner, I beg to differ 😯

Having known Mrs & Mrs Gooner for 10 years ( and no I am not the friend he "snogged" the face off 😆 ) I remember it taking a year for the "courage" to appear then Mrs Gooner taking the lead.

Confession is good for the soul Mr Gooner !!

Mags

Confession is good for the soul Mr Gooner !!

Mags

Yeah, but not so much for the ego 😆

Good to see others have some fantastic story's on how they met their other half. 😆

i met the wife online though faceparty hadnt planned to find a wife but after a few weeks chatting online we met up and i have been waiting for her to go home again since

I met Mrs Toblerone at college in 1995, we had mutual friends and at Christmas I eventually managed to whisk her away from the fella she was seeing (only for a couple of days mind!!) and we had our first kiss on the steps of the Tech.

We went out for a couple of years, and I did something really stupid and she dumped me.

She went to University and I got a job (and a fiancee a little while later)

About 5 years later, we bumped into each other in the very romantic (!) Chicago Rock Cafe, again around Christmas. We got chatting and it turned out she didn't hate me anymore. She just split up from her boyfriend and I was in a horrible relationship. I went back to her house and we chatted for a few hours about what had happened and how young we were (and how stupid I was).

Long story short, I got home and couldn't stop thinking about her and she was the same. I rang her, we chatted again. I made a very big decision, marry someone I hated and someone who hated me, or take a chance.

Well the rest is history, we got married at Christmas 2004 and now we have 2 amazing kids and I've truly never been happier.

What a soppy b@stard.

What a great tale Mr Toblerone and yes I agree you are soppy!!!