[Solved] HELP NEED ADVICE

Hi tony,

It's not quite as simple as just keeping him. She might telephone the police and say you have abducted him. Is there an ulterior motive, do you want to keep him, and the car breaking down is a convenient excuse to do this? If the answer is no to that question, then refusing to take him back might cause problems for further visits in the future.

If you did keep him you would have to apply for a residence order and I think unless there were serious safeguarding issues for your son, the court would be unlikely to grant it to you. It would disrupt his schooling and if he has any brothers or sisters back at home, they wouldn't want to split that family up.

In my opinion it would just be easier to bite the bullet and repair the car, get the train or borrow someone's else's car/get a lift. She could be calling your bluff, I can't see her refusing to pick him up when push comes to shove...if she is made to do this though it could cause you and your son problems with contact in the future.

he has two younger brothers that live with me. He is 12 and wants to live live with me but she wont let him. She also goes out of her way to make things as difficult as possible for me to see him. This is genuine my engine has gone and is being repaired but not in time to take him home. I live in Caerphilly in Wales and she lives in Salisbury, ive even offered to pay the bridge and fuel.

Is there a court order in place that states that 2 children should be with you and 1 with her? It's very unusual for courts to split siblings in this way.

As he is 12 unless you were married to the mother, you won't have Parental Responsibility...this is a problem if you were to keep hold of him without her permission. If she called the police they would remove him because of this.

If however you were married and are on his birth certificate you could theoretically keep hold of him and apply for an emergency residence order. If this is a course of action you are considering, I would advise calling the police and discussing this with them first, just to make sure they wouldn't get involved. Once you've done this you should then get a Form C100, this can be downloaded from the justice.gov website, and get it submitted to court first thing on Monday morning ....and when you give it in tell them that you need this to be done as an emergency residence order, you will then get a date for court within a day or two.

Have a look at the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, there are two about representing yourself in court and one about the C100 form. There's also three YouTube videos that take you through the process. It costs £200 to apply but if you are on a low income you may be entitled to an exemption from the court fees...you would need a form EX160a to claim this.

As your son is 12 his wishes will be listened to, and as you already have his two younger brothers with you that will go in your favour.

There is no longer legal aid available for family law cases so if you decided to go to court your ex would either have to self represent or pay for a solicitor which can cost thousands. There are many dads here that have taken the self repping route and so if this is what you decide you will get plenty of help and support here.

Thanks for all your help it is greatly appreciated. I was married to his mother, but his brothers are with my new partner, who my son wants to spend more time with.
Ive already contacted the police and im waiting for a response.

thanks again for all your help

Half siblings are considered as equally important in family law....I'm not pretending its going to be easy,there are no guarantees, but if its what you and your son want I wish you luck.

Let us know how you get on and as I've already said you will get plenty of support here.

I would be vary careful about what you say to your ex - if it looks to the court like you were keeping him purely because you can't get him back to your ex, I don't think the court will take kindly to that. All your communication with your ex now has to be about keeping him because that's what he wants and because it's in his best interests. If you said you were keeping him, and your ex then decided to picck him up and you let her do so, I don't think you'd have a chance if you tried for residence in the future - in other words, once you have made the decision to keep him, you have to see it through.