Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
good to hear from you again CBM, though a shame that it's for this reason. Also good that you are in such a good place in your life in general - such a long way from where you were when you joined this forum. 🙂
Hi There,
.
Good to hear from you again, as actd has said though shame it's becuase you are going through things again.
.
It's great to hear how far you have come since joining all that time ago.
.
Good luck and keep us posted.
.
GTTS
Suicide isn't the answer. You have a one year old child and you should fight your ex tooth and nail to see him. Tell her you want to arrange to see him and want a she due or you will go and see a solicitor regarding contact. Lots of ex''s after a breakup just want control and become bitter towards someone they were once with,this shouldn't happen. They should put the child first.
UPDATE
sorry it's been so long !
so were now 9 years in to this battle... and i'll pick up where we left off..
While some may find it hard that i did not follow through the court application i chose not to. for my own mental health and to work on building myself up mentally
From my experience it does not matter what that piece of paper say i never had any luck so as she wanted i stayed away.
Not because i did not love my son but for the fact i couldn't go through all the waiting and fighting and cafcass and My son actually reached out to me...
i arranged a time and date with his mother and i took him out for the day a few times. without his mother present wer bonded like any normal father and son - we played we talked we laughed together - it wa like we was never apart.
This went on for some months until the day he finally came home with me for the weekend.
so for over a year now every 2 weeks my son would stay with us he loves his bedroom and loves the routine we have and enjoys the drive back home.
this went on so well - and without any issue - until she asked me to check with CSA the amount she receives is correct.
I called the CSA - and gave them all the details as to the distance i travel and the time i have him
they said to me they would recalculate the amount - to which they informed her.
And because her money will reduce she lied to the CSA and said i don't have him overnight.
Then All of a sudden he said he did not want to come.. to which i questioned this with his mother and found her mother has been making promises to him to take him to a park - and that he would not like to come.
This made me very sad- but now i know there's only one thing i can do is get him away from their poisoning.
It has made me think they ar enow trying to turn him against me again. and now i feel court is again the only answer.
Parent Alienation is very real and is abuse. - but to prove this through the court is going to be my next challenge.
So waiting on advocate application so i can have a qualified solicitor to do the talking and were going to fight for full custody and get him away from these evil people corrupting his mind and turning him against me.
@crazybabymother Welcome back! thanks for re-visiting after all this time. sounds terrible that she is denying contact to get more money. as child maintenance service like to see court orders for shared overnight care, then it seems the next logical route for you is to get a court order.
Hello CBM, a pity that you are back again for this reason. How old is your son now?
Advocate application was unsuccessful.
but i have appointed a mckenzie friend
im really starting to see theres really no point continuing this battle
for a child who now dosnt want to see me because hes been so twisted by his mother.
no idea what to do now...
im so scared for his wellbeing ive reported them to social services and the police for the violent ex partner...
now this has made my son hate me even more...
his evil mother has told him i want to take him away form her
i spoke to him on the phone last night... hes really confused...
how can a bitter woman be so focussed on her own hate she would do this?
i really see why so many fathers give up....
I'm close.. really really close to putting this all behind me..
im running out of fight...
im running out of everything...
im drained
🙁
@actd 9 years old
hi everyone
so new update
I applied to the court - and ive been granted access - every two weeks and split holidays.
After returning him on the sunday after spending 2 weeks with us his mother attacked me and my wife on the drop off following a dispute over her snatching one of Alexs bags.
the police attended - and talked to us both. and she is saying we attacked her - my wife was beaten and cut i was beaten and cut it was horrific
the whole incident was witnessed by my son and also her other child.
she did this on purpose and planned this in order to make things more difficult.
she has then contacted the court and applied to have the court order changed so that i don't see my son.
now things have got worse...
now I'm falling into that pit of despair where nothing means anything nothing feels right im angry u0pset and now after getting such a win and finally having Alex back in my life hes ripped away from me...
my life is falling apart again and yet again telling my story is my only way i can get my side across.
Im scared that if i lose my life of if she kills me this will be the only way my son will ever know the truth.
whoever reading this please make sure this story is passed on to my son.
my next update will be after september 13th - that's the court date.
hi, very sorry to hear this. hope your next hearing goes well and you can have normal arrangements with kids again. i think in future its better not to take your wife to handovers. may cause lot more tension with your ex, as well as jealousy/bitterness.
Update
court has been left now in the hands of social services for them to decide if contact should continue.
social services are now finally involved - and we had to attend a child protection conference
now our son is on a child protection plan.
im also now have a non molestation order against my ex
and today i have applied for court also to address the non compliance of the court order.
just feels like this is never going to end
more court
more bullshit
i still cant believe this is still on going after 10 years!
You need to calm down and chill - bottom line is you had a child with a mum who has lost child focus and gone vindictive, that's not the courts fault , it's yours .
Buckle up buddy you are in for a [censored] of a ride.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.