[Solved] HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! CRAZY BABY MOTHER

just received this...

Been to my solicitor and has advised me that you need to go to your solicitor. Its nice to see that since we split you have done absolutley everything to hurt me from going on dating websites for single parrents when alex was only a week old. Also went on plent of fish and slatted me to the whole of facebook but that was never enough for you was it now your back in touch with bianca thats lovely but nice to see ur still trying to hurt the mother of your child. I allowed you to see alex on the terms and was never good enough for you the whole thing has made me ill and has made me unable to give my son the happy mother that he deserves. You have still not talked about maintance for your son and you havent supported him financially for the last 4 months and during my pregnancy. You always think that we should wait for you. Alex your son is still waiting for that tub of milk that you was ment to have changed and didnt bring back.

Seeing though you havent done anything for your son in 4 month i wont hold my breath but glad to see that you living your life carefree and not supporting your son. Hope it works out with bianca like you said before you cant be with her beause you have no children and people with children can only get with people with children so i hope your happy.

Im changing my number from today and i shall hear from your solicitor via post to my address

Hi There,

Don't let her get to you, you are entitled to a life and there is nothing wrong with that.

You do need to start to sort out contact though as that will help you a lot, and if you aren't at the moment you also need to think about child maintenance.

Have you spoken to anyone today regards starting the ball rolling with getting contact?

Darren

i sent this

Ive moved on from you. who i speak to has nothing to do with you.

remember when you saw me cry my eyes out ? and beg you to sort us out? that was the last time you will ever see myself begging you for anything !

so thank yourself as to why your feeling the way you do. maybe Paul can comfort you now.

you want to talk about financial responsibility for our son, when you couldn't even put me on the birth certificate after i told you it is what i wanted.

please don't try and act like you have been reasonable because quite simply you have done nothing but try to destroy me and i tell you now you wont.

ive grown up alot since you saw me. i have my own place now, im working hard and making myself a better person, i suggest you do the same for the sake of our son.

remember your the one who wants all this court drama your the one who wants to go threw the courts.. i may have said it to Alice but have i actually taken you to court or done anything like that?

No is the answer your looking for.

I wont pay for a child i have no part in his life. but will agree to make a contribution to my son once you stop all your petty bullshit

CSA have been contacted and an agreed amount will be paid once parental responsibility has been granted.

quite simply were over and now im the happier person for seeing how nasty you really can be.

I might have done some bad things but to stop a father from seeing his son is just something ill never forgive you for.

all i want is to be a father without all the drama. but no thats not good enough for sammy... you want blood and drama and a good old excuse to tell your friends your baby fathers a wasteman.

so when you consider putting me on the birth certificate and stop all this bullshit then we can sit down like civil adults and discuss OUR son's future.

i was looking forward to seeing our son on that Wednesday before you thought let me [censored] with him some more and tell him im sending a letter so i waited patiently and today i read this email.

so that's why our little boy dosnt have anything from me. explain that to him. im not gonna post anything to you why shudnt i be able to give the things i buy to my son?

Hi there,

Well that may not have been the best thing to send as you have opened up the start of an email battle, however it's done now and can't be changed.

Try not to get drawn into any more emails like this as I think it would actually go against you in the long run.

If she sends any more emails like this, if you need to reply think about what you send and don't send any thing in haste or anger.

Darren

i got this back

Thats absolutley fine. I really do not care anymore. i never stopped you seeing alex and i said we can go to a contact center to see your son. I never was unreasonable your makeing me ill buy the atmosphere and tentsion between us when you visit and i said to go to a solicitors for you to see your son and you said that you wernt going to do that. You will not be put on that birth certificate because your not doing nothing for our son and i feel that you should not have parenmtal responsiblities for the following reasons that i had told you.

Im glad that you have got your own place thats great and your right i dont have any say but number 1 paul and me are nothing and you were the one who done wrong not me. Why should i be unhappy everytine time you come and see our son.

Anyway i havnt herd from csa so ill be contacting them myself to find out what is going on.

bye

I'd urge you not to reply, if you really need to wait until tomorrow when you can reply with a clear head.

Otherwise you are going to keep sending back and forth all night and not really gain anything

im not going to reply to this one.. shes clearly not thinking right in the head how can she say shes letting me see him when she clearly wants me to go to court and suffer...

im not coping well with this... im feeling a rage and want to kick her in the face!!!!!!!!

Hi CBM.
Since i last read your post's you seem to be coming to term's with this now. I did say a few month's ago it does get easier. I would say and i know you don't want to hear it but stop yourself from getting into a slanging match, by doing so you are leaving yourself wide open should this matter go to court. No matter how much it annoy's you to give your ex money, disregard what you think she may be spending it on and hold your head up that you have contributed to your son. When you say you will not pay towards your son if your ex will not put you on the birth certificate i would say the real reason is the above, not because you don't want to pay. Try to do the opposite of what your gut instinct tells you this often results in anger and rage. And yes i am sure at some point everyone on here would love to kick our ex
in the face as you say, just rise above it, be the mature one. All our ex's have either taken or make it very difficult for us to see the one thing that is really important to us, our children . My take on this is no matter what tactic's my ex employs to wind me off the clock she cannot hurt me anymore than she already has.Stick with it fella it's a slow a long process but don't let it get you down.

Hey CBM, I know exactly how you feel i have two boys with different women.

1. There is no just reason for you not to be able to have contact with your biological child no matter what you've done unless an extreem cases such as you killed the babys mother. that came from my oldest childs own solicitor.

2. I know its hard when you love your baby's mum iv been there man. 4 years of depression. I'v learnt not to let ANYTHING consume me emotionally. Dont chase the [censored] dont beg her. If she doesnt want you now she never will. easy for me to say that now but it came with time.

My ex started being cool with me when i stopped telling her i love her and asking to try again for our "familys" sake.

Its hard for me now i love her and have to stomach her with another guy in my place but I have to put this aside and not show her that.

You need to be a solid personality when you have contact with your boy, she doesnt want some depressed whim bag takeing care of her baby boy.

Remove yourself from her emotionally, get it in your head your never going to be that "family" you/we dream of.

the more i sit and think the more rage i feel.. but i must say the words from some of you lift my spirits up

i cant tell you how comforting it is to know im not the only one in this situation...

but ive made my mind up now the csa rang me today and i never answered the phone.. so i imagine they will ring me again tomorrow...

i need advice on what to say.

im not running away from the fact i have to pay for my child.. im just homeless and staying with frends temporily and i need to get my life in order... this is where im struggling and hopfully someone on here can help and give me the advice and directiuon i need to be what i call a real man cos right now i feel like a crying [censored] thats being whipped by his ex and being told to bend over and take it in the [censored]...

now i wanna fight.

i wanna take back some of the control she has on this whole situation and get us on a even playing field.

its not about the mind games its not about the money its the fact of the power she has and how she is using it just to hurt me.

so the first thing i am going to do is as chris said ive now got the forms i need the c100 and a EX160A to cover the cost as im on a low income i saw its 175 pounds to take a case to court.

ive contacted a mckenzie frend hopfully someone will be in touch to help me fill out the form.

what i need to know is what the csa are going to do to me? will they help me get parental responsibility? even if she denies me the right to have it ?

also can they even make me pay before i have parental responsibility? surely the csa must ask why has she not put me on the birth certificate?

what kind of things will i have to provide the court?

Hi cbm

Unfortunately, the CSA are only concerned with maintenance and not with PR at all, that's what the court proceedings you are starting will deal with. The CSA wont be sympathetic at all I'm afraid so be prepared for them as much as possible. Don't lose your temper with them as you want them to be as amenable as possible, it is one hassle you don't want.

ok so the csa have now been sorted.

im paying 15 percent of my wages works out to about 34 pounds a week.

i asked them if i could pay her an amount direct to her but she denied. it..

feeling very bad about this as i wanted to buy him stuff with that money now i wont be able to..

and check this even if i do overtime to cover the cost of the csa the amount goes up so im stuck in this situation for life.. thank you cRAZYBABYMOTHER YOU REALLY HAVE PUT ME IN THE HSIT...

so what now guys ?

do we as fathers just sitback pay money and watch someone else bring up our children...

do i have to sit here and work my [censored] off to see no financial benefit?

if i had one wish id change this stupid law.

i urge anyone concidering children to think long and hard if that woman your now telling you love will turn into the crazy [censored] i now have to call the mother of my beautiful son...