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Hello,
Just wondered if you think that what I'm doing is the right solution.
I'm seperated from my ex, been nearly 18 months. We have a 2 year old daughter who lives with her mother. The ex is a pain in the [censored], making all my access difficult, putting unreasonalbe demands on me, demanding on knowing who I'm seeing, what I'm doing, and complaining about my daughter seeing my other children from a previous marriage. Anyway, she's started gettign more difficult, making the times of my collection difficult, being more demanding.
Turned up Saturday to pick up my daughter, and she was gone, moved in with her boyfriend. I've no problem with the moving in but she is refusing to tell me where she is and refusing me access.
Next step is a contact order I think. We tried mediation but she refused to attend.
Now she is texting saying that she want's mediation now I threatened a court order. I don't want to mediate, I just want a court order to say that i can have regular access and take the stress of the situation.
Has anyone been down this route? Did it work?
Thanks in advance.
Rich
Hi Rich,
A contact order is probably the right thing to do, but just be aware that the judge will probably ask you both to attend mediation and if she says she wants to and has suggested it to you before you applied to court you will need to be ready with proof you tried before.
Also they tend to feel that even if you have tried before that it's worth trying again after the dust has settled.
It may be worth going to court and then being passed to mediation as firstly you will have the court process moving and also she will find it difficult to back out if she has told a judge she is happy to go.
Darren
Hello Darren,
Thanks for your reply.
I've tried mediation and she didn't attend. I've a letter from stating she failed to attend.
I don't want to go to mediation, I want to put a court order in place. My concern now is that I go and pay two hundred odd pounds to the court and they say go to mediation and I can't afford that on top of the court costs as it's about £90 per session I think.
Can I state that I feel that the relationship has broken doen to the point where mediation will not work?
Thanks,
Richard
Mediation will only work if both parties are willing to give it a go - if you dont go then it could work against you as she will argue that she suggested it but you weren't interested. Even if you refer to the last time she will say something like she wasn't in the right place mentally
I think you need to bite the bullet and attend - if she doesnt come then at least you can prove that you made two attempts before getting the court order.
It is rubbish and I hope you get it sorted but if you don't play the game it could go against you
Hi I agree with SM, if she states in court she wants to attend and that she suggested to save having to go through court it may not help you case.
It is a real mind field and you have to try and second guess everything.
Darren