[Solved] Any helped appreciated....

So when you say you have loads of evidence, and no-one interested - what do you mean?

Social services and the police would be very interested if there was proof. What kind of proof do you mean?

We have recorded calls (solicitor said it was ok to do so, but can't be used in court, have used it previously to play to the child guardian and both legal teams) ex has broken court order NUMER|OUS times, latest this weekend, citing transportation issues and would be late, when in actual fact she was meeting up with my partners parents behind our backs. Nothing wrong with seeing them, but not when it breaks a court order.

Child is STILL being exposed to domestic verbal abuse at mothers home, this time ex's partner started on the child. Both parents signed agreement with Social, not to involve child in such issues, but she still is. Mother claimed she also had no money so therefore could not return the child from contact. Social services stumped up the money for the bus fare home, then pulls this stunt clearly lying. Ex has text us to say that contract between parents and social "means nothing".

Given the amount of times she has broken the CO it does clearly mean nothing to her!

Myself and my partner want to move away. We are both currently unemployed and want to get back into the labour market. This means moving the child from school. Barrister says if mother says no we have to apply to the court for "permission to move". We have found a better Ofsted rated school, jobs for both of us, a nicer house (by that I mean cheaper to run but still big enough for us all to live together!!), BUT child as told us that mother and partners family are gonna "close ranks" on us and stop us moving. and when the child's mother "wins her in court" ex will give up her residency to partners family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW IS THAT NOT INVOLVING A CHILD??????

The child even told me that social services had paid for the ticket and how much it cost. appointment with Sol on Wednesday, but feel like I am going to explode. For as horrible as it sounds and maybe selfish I cannot go on living like this (there is WAY more to this). I (with our 5 month old son) will move away even if it means leaving ,my partner and his daughter. Yes, it's come to this. Also my partner feels he should put his daughter into care, yes, it's come to this........ IT WILL SPLIT OUR FAMILY UP..... WE ARE AT BREAKING POINT!.............................................................

I think you need to speak to your solicitor about this, but as far as I am aware, as long as you are staying within England, there is nothing to prevent you from moving as long as it's not to prevent contact, and in your case, there are obviously genuine reasons for moving. You would probably be expected to be more flexible with contact normally, but if there are safety issues, then that may not be the case. In any event, I would wait until the next hearing is over as you don't want to have this as something extra brought up in court at this stage.

I had read somewhere that it's more difficult to move abroad, so I am hoping that it will be ok. We were thinking of bringing it up in court as if she says no we can then put our case forward and hopefully get them to grant permission so that we can prepare to move. Our tenancy is in doubt anyway, so we will have to move somewhere!

Contact would continue on it's monthly basis, my partner is going to court with the offer if doing half the travelling on a friday eve/night which might show the judge we are commited to keeping up contact.

This is uber stressful. Social have come back with their report......... it beggars belief.... I am tired, stressed and generally wanna be somewhere else right now....

Thanks for your reply.

Well don't give up - and remember what you are fighting for!

There are many posts on here where dads have spent years fighting and they have eventually won.

You will have good days as well as bad - so keep that chin up!

UPDATE: Social have reccomended no changes to current arrangements, appalled by mothers behavior (as witnessed by them), BUT child Psychologist says contact with mother should return to "normal"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY GOBSMACKED. Child's Guardian, Social and Psychologist all at odds! What happens now?

If contact returns to "normal" how are we supposed to pay for contact 2 a month when we ourselves on benefits?

TOTALLY GOBSMACKED 😮

I'd go back to your solicitor again - I have no idea what the consequences are of not being able to afford to comply with contact, especially as this means that the child will go without - I would have thought that the court could order that the mother pays towards the contact.

UPDATE: Court this week. Order stays same on Social's say-so. Although they wanted to go with Child Psych report!! NO agreement on Travel, although Mother and court has granted us permission to move! Hurrah! because of no agreement mother has to do ALL travel on the money we have been providing! Even when we move! Which will see an increase in fares? That one surprised me.

We still have to use child's child benefit to pay for the c/ordered "fare". Once we have moved we are hoping that he'll pay his fare and child's, she will pay hers and child...Simples! Sounds like next hearing will be an IRH then a final hearing. Guardian has suggested that coz Social and Child Psych don't agree, that Social (who's on same page as us) will change her position to favor Child Psych! So that's a bit crapola!!.....

Update: Had a metting today with Social Services about ex's child. They are on about putting their daughter on Child Protection Register!!! 😮

And because "our son" lives with said child, he will also be put onto the register. 😮 😮 😮 😮 😮 😮 😮 😮

IAM MORTIFIED!

Social claiming my input into "court proceedings" is making things worse, although I asked for evidence of this she got all shirty and gave me one instance.

I am sat here opened mouthed and "speechless". After nearly hyperventing on the bus home Feels like someone has ripped my heart out and shot me through the head.......

I said I would leave my partner when and if it ever got to this stage. They have said that us seperating would make no diff to our son being placed on the register, as "we have not considered the kids in the seperation"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 5 month old baby has become involved with this and he can't even talk yet!................................... How can this woman do these henous things to her daughter yet me and my son are the 'scape goats?.......................

GAME OVER!

HOW CAN THEY GET IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!

Hi ToF

That's appalling to have to go through this.

We can ask the Family Rights Group to come on here and offer advice if you wish, or you could contact them directly if you'd rather get quicker help - their website is http://www.frg.org.uk/

Keep us posted, and keep fighting for what is right.

Thanks Actd

I have fought this for the last 15 months.

I am "tired of fighting". I am emotionally drained. Have spoken to Coram they have advised me. Have also spoken to the FRG who have given some great guidance. At least I had something to throw back at the Social when I spoke their Op's Manager (I always deal with the organ grinder!) She is clearly so well versed at public speaking that she had to ask another for the post code of HER office!!!!!........

It appears that I CANNOT stop it going to a case conference. I have however asked that my son's details are kept private from "The Troll". Have been told we can discuss that with chair at conference. Nice to know we will be given 24hrs notice to attend and will only get notes from SWorker 24hrs prior to conference......

All the while "The Troll" sits and festers with her mesgre little life, making everyone, including her daughter unhappy. At this point in proceedings I have totally lost any FAITH for the Justice system in this country. If 2 suicide attempts (in front of your child), beating your child, child swallowing pain relief tabs, saying shi*, f*ck, d*ck, ar*ehole in front of your child (to name but a few)!, threantening to hit people, challenging people in the street, sexually interferring with your child.... If that is not enough PROVEN EVIDENCE (doc's, hospital, police reports, phyc reports) then what will it take for the "authorities" to wake up?!...... Sickening!

If you are ever in a situ guys where there is another person looking after your child, in your absence, I IMPLORE you to take at GOOD LOOK at what their role is. Unless they are doing something bad, give them a break... Relationships break up for LOTS of reasons, people move on, we find new loves, extend our families.... So why do people hold on to the past and make the future so miserable for others? (Especially when they have created the breakdown?)...

I have been the ultimate 'scape goat for this situ by the authorities. Yet during my "time served" here as a "step-parent" I have given a child the courage to raise her hand in class, even though she might not have it right and be mocked, she still raises her hand. Given her the info not to judge people on their colour/race/looks/ as "that's what her Mum and her partner do".

This child used to fail at school, but know... she came 5th in her class for Maths (out of 30) and now constantly acheives top marks for class tests...... This child now washes, bathes herself, cleans her teeth and looks after herself (although shame the same can't be said for her room!)....

So because of continued pressure by SS, my son has to live without his Dad and vice versea. My son has to live without his step-sister and ANOTHER family has to be split up...

ANYTHING? ANYONE?....... 🙁

Hi there....

If you have actual proof that this poor child is being abused and none of the services are doing anything about it, have you thought of taking it to your MP?

I have had recourse in the past when absolutely nobody was listening, to go to my MP...it made a difference.

Heres just one example...My nephew married a lovely girl from Kazakstan 3yrs ago... the immigration department did not accept their marriage was real and were just about to deport her back there, she was six months pregnant and they were at their wits end....I suggested they talk to their MP and within days he had dealt with it and she was able to stay....They have far reaching powers, especially wben it comes to dealing with government departments and making them act...Its worth a try.

Hi Nannyjane,

Nice to see another "Daddy supporter" Completely agree with your little blurb on your post!

I have looked at contacting him before, but thought his answer just might me "not geting involved - follow the process" we have such conflicting info from everyone.

In my head, that is now fit to explode I think... Is this really just a case of following through a process? Is there more to it? If they cannot see what is staring them in the face, then how can they do what is best? In relation to proof - I was told by the child's "guardian" that seen as the physical abuse had ended (after the social telling the mother it was not right) and the "weapon" put in the bin, it wasn't relavent!!!!!!!!! She doesn't wonder that that is linked to why the child has just had a pshyc report and is having councelling?!

Are SS doing this to try and take the child away from the mother? formally?.... SS said that my partner and I were doing a "brilliant job" and that "arguing at handovers" was their only complaint......

Now the mother is sending stuff through her solicitor to say that my partner is not paying her money for contact this is an absolute LIE.... It almost seems like the mother wants to push the daughter into care....

...Its an MP's job to get involved, and if you dont try, you'll never know. What's the worse that can happen? ...He/she will say they cant help.

Who knows what hidden agendas these "proffessionals" have. If the guardian had the proof and then disposed of it, there should still be a record of it in the file, and if not, theres is some kind of gross mismanagement going on, in my opinion! The MP would have to act on that I'm sure.

Good luck with everything.

I agree - I have involved my MP before, it doesn't guarantee results, but it can go higher than you would often be able to yourself. Make appointment with your MP, don't just write to them. Write down all of your points in bullet form, but bear in mind they are on limited time, so do so in descending order of importance, and if it's not really important, don't include it. Also, write the whole history in a letter, keeping it to the important points, and keeping it brief, and hand it to the MP when you see him. That way, nothing is forgotten when you see him, and he doesn't have to write anything down - the more work you can save them, the easier it is for him to help you.

Hi, I regularly go to Child Protection Conferences in my role and your son being on the child protection register is not a bad thing necessarily. It brings more accountability to ensure he is being well looked after and if SS get a whiff of anything, he will be taken out of that environment and placed in the most appropriate place (hopefully with you).
There will be multi agencies there, all of whom get to give there own opinion so hopefully the best result will be (or has been) given.

Good luck

my heart goes out to you,
my son is going through same thing with his guardian,they dont seen to understand what damage they can do,
you will find the strenth to carry on,your doing a brilliant job,hang on in there,it might be helpful to ask to go to a higher judge,
who has powers to enforce orders,we all wish our ex's relised what they are doing to there kids,
the family law is open to all sorts of loopholes,and ex partners can say anything (proof or not) and it has to be investigated
just incase somthing happens in the future,its a long road,remember who this is for,your ex seem to have alot of issues and your an easy target, be strong it will end, i wish you and your family including your partner all the best, :cheer:

Hi mate. Any update?

UPDATE: Spoke to social about CPP, they got quite shirty, so involved my MP's office. We now have a CPC a week Friday. They have been out to say that "liklihood" of my son going on the plan is small given there is no "evedence" to say otherwise. I will believe it when he's NOT on a plan!!...

Spoke to MP's office yesterday (after they told us the social would come back to them ASAP!)... They haven't!! MP's office seemed quite annoyed that they had been ignored for the best part of 2 weeks. She only got to speak to our social worker yesterday! Me thinks they might have done something "wrong" and are trying to cover their tracks, as who wouldn't deal with an MP? Especially if the social were working within the "law"....

Who knows. Social keep contradicting themselves, one minute I am a step parent therefore co-parenting in a step parent role. Then they say my partner has to "be a dad/man" (oohhh very sexiest and RUDE!!) and do EVERYTHING with his daughter..... I have to step down and he apprently has to step up!... So what? I tell a child sorry I can't do that with you as daddy has to do everything?!... Er? No! Life is not like that and will NEVER be like that in this house, it works how it works...

In the meantime...we have been served 2 months notice to leave our house, as they want to sell. Homeless for Christmas!... BONZA!!!

Update CPC went as expected. My son was not put onto CPP. My daughter was (no surprises!)

What has happened since is quite worrying: SW was supposed to visit as per CPP but sent duty SW instead. She didn't even inform us.Went to core meeting, SW's day off!!!! Ex sat there and tried to change things written into the court order, school official there undermining the court order and agreeing with ex! (clearly has not read the history of trouble the ex has caused at school - hence the reason why the COURT ORDER is in place.

Operations Manager at Social now saying there should NOT be the same "rules" in both households (although she signed off on SW's CPP recommendations!) Basically Op's manager contradicting what she has already said.

CAFCASS are now pulling out.

Have tried to tell Social how daughter is still being emotionally abused and they do NOTHING! Daughter came home from contact in tears as she was told "this, that and the other" by her mum, clear emotional abuse. Ex has broken the court order more times than I've had hot dinners, broken the working agreement with the social and with daughter on the CPP she STILL does not get it.

Funny thing was, at the case conference ex wanted partners dad to be HER SUPPORT!!! Nice to know you can count on your folks! I can see daughter ending up in care! 😮

Solicitor says when we go back to court that ex can apply for contact to be INCREASED!!!!!!!!!! I don't know where to turn, nobody appears to be listening or taking action. Going to contact MP again as enough is enough. Why should she have to go into care for me to protect her? Have a new house (deposit down), ex is now saying she wont allow us to move (although she has already consented in court!) and that she wants to see the house and how many rooms we have!!!!

Anyone know the procedure when CPP is breached please?

Sorry, not something I have experience of -what has your solicitor said?

Not a lot really, in court this morning. Things got ugly over the weekend with the ex showing ther daughter the child protection paperwork! Cafcass Guardian came out and saw child last night to told her honestly what her mum had done. Let's hope in court it quoshes the mothers statement "I don't discuss adult/court issues with child"!!!!!!!!!!...........