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Hi all,
following my wife's affair and departure in July I am gradually piecing our lives back together. Two boys return to school next week and I'm back to work full time. The hardest thing seems to be maintaining any kind of emotional consistency. Seeing or talking to my ex throws me completely so we are only contacting by text which, whilst not so emotionally draining leaves huge room for over analysis of hidden meanings etc! I can be focussed and accepting one day and near to rushing around and begging her to come back the next.
Online info about midlife crisis in women is useful but depressing. The knowledge that nothing I can do other than getting on with our lives will help, coupled with the likelihood we will never talk like we used to again breaks my heart every day.
My ex has destroyed our family, shut out her own family, disassociated from all her older friends and is seeing her "first love" from 20 years ago, along with many of the friends she had at the time and left behind. All of our contact is business-like and tense, money is short and I empathise with her previous "I do everything in this house" comments (except now I really believe I do everything).
On a humorous note I had a tattoo of her name on my arm covered up yesterday and joked with the tattooist that I had the better deal as she had my name tattooed on her rear and that her tattoo had grown in size considerably over the years resulting in increased cover up costs!
She's obviously looking for her lost youth....reconnecting with long past friends and boyfriends is a symptom of this IMO.
At least you can look for humour in an otherwise anguished situation and that's a good sign! Lets hope as time goes on, more of this will come to the fore as your pain subsides and you find new interests and perhaps new love.
Best of luck
... she had my name tattooed on her rear and that her tattoo had grown in size considerably over the years ....
PMSL at that 😆
On a humorous note I had a tattoo of her name on my arm covered up yesterday and joked with the tattooist that I had the better deal as she had my name tattooed on her rear and that her tattoo had grown in size considerably over the years resulting in increased cover up costs!
That has really made me laugh
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