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i need some advice please, i have a 10 month old son who i see for 2 hrs twice a week, i have asked my ex for more time as i dont think this is enough for me to bond properly or be able to do anything with him properly, she has now told me i can have the original hrs with an extra 2 every other week and she wants to do this until he is 18 months old, she has told me i cannot have him overnight until he is at least 3 years old and when he is that old can only have him every other weekend.is it worth me applying for a contact order as we have been to mediation and she refused to attend anymore after the first session, i am not asking for too much just some more time with him to bond more. i am also thinking of applying for a parental responsibility order, what can anyone advice in both these things? i dont want to go down this route but it seems its the only way i will get anywhere, everytime i try to discuss these things with her she just storms off, her new fella sees my son more than i do and i dont want my boy to think he is his dad.
Hey mate and welcome, It is perfectly reasonable for you to want o spend more time with your child and it is relatively straight forward to do you have already tried mediation so the next step is to apply for a Child arrangement order if the ex will not play ball, you will need to fill out a c100 form and a c1 form to apply for parental responsibility, the forms can be filled out together and they will cost you Β£215.
Mediation has to be attempted before an order is applied for so you will need to fill that section out in the c100 and obtain a FM1 form from the mediator to say mediation has failed.
Have a read of the posts at the top of the legal eagle section which explain the process.
Slim π
Slim has given you good advice.... Younger children need small bursts of contact on a regular basis, they have short memories at this age so any extra time you can get is great for bonding.
Looking forward to overnight visits, every other weekend is standard and you're unlikely to get every weekend as the courts generally like both parents to have quality time with the child but you could ask for midweek contact and come up with a plan so that your child doesn't have big gaps between his time with you. At the end of the day, you can ask the courts for whatever you like and it's my understanding that if you ask for a bit more than you would actually be happy with, it shows some room for compromise.
Good luck π
thank you slim and 1626 for your advice i have the fm1 form from the mediator and the c100 i just need to get the other form, i havent asked my ex for every weekend or overnight yet ive only said that i would like this further down the line and all that i want right now is more time in the week, do you think i am being un realistic trying to get 2 days with him and what do you think my chances are of getting parental responsibility? as i said before i do not want my son to look at me as some stranger and my exs fella as his dad.there is a lot of bad stuff that i hknow about regarding her partner and things he has done to her and his own children, i dont want to bring all that into things but equally i dont want him around my boy as i dont trust him.
Hi again
It's my understanding that you ask for the contact that you would like and it's up to the court to make a decision on when the increases will happen. If you only ask for what you want now, you could have to return over time to ask for a variation of whatever Child Arrangement Order is given.
If your ex is already allowing contact and not denying your paternity, I see no reason why the PR won't be granted.
I understand that you wouldn't want to bring these things into the court application but depending on what these things are, they may have to be raised.
Once the court receive your application, you should receive a letter from Cafcass (the court appt'd social workers) giving you a date for a telephone interview. Prior to this interview, they will run PNC and SS checks on you and your ex and if there are any disclosures, you will both be asked about these during the phone call. Cafcass then produce a S2 Safeguarding letter setting out their recommendations to the court. If you have genuine concerns that do not show up on these checks, it might be worth mentioning them during this call.
Slim has written a guide to dealing with Cafcass in the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle page, it might be worth having a read.
In addition, it's worth writing yourself a short Position Statement ready for the first hearing, these are not a mandatory requirement but they're helpful for the court to see what it is you are asking for and a guideline for you to stick to during the Directions Hearing.
I'm going to private message you a document that another member sent me with guidelines of contact that might be helpful for you.
Good luck π
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