[Solved] time with my son

Hey mate and welcome, It is perfectly reasonable for you to want o spend more time with your child and it is relatively straight forward to do you have already tried mediation so the next step is to apply for a Child arrangement order if the ex will not play ball, you will need to fill out a c100 form and a c1 form to apply for parental responsibility, the forms can be filled out together and they will cost you £215.

Mediation has to be attempted before an order is applied for so you will need to fill that section out in the c100 and obtain a FM1 form from the mediator to say mediation has failed.

Have a read of the posts at the top of the legal eagle section which explain the process.

Slim 🙂

Slim has given you good advice.... Younger children need small bursts of contact on a regular basis, they have short memories at this age so any extra time you can get is great for bonding.
Looking forward to overnight visits, every other weekend is standard and you're unlikely to get every weekend as the courts generally like both parents to have quality time with the child but you could ask for midweek contact and come up with a plan so that your child doesn't have big gaps between his time with you. At the end of the day, you can ask the courts for whatever you like and it's my understanding that if you ask for a bit more than you would actually be happy with, it shows some room for compromise.

Good luck 🙂

thank you slim and 1626 for your advice i have the fm1 form from the mediator and the c100 i just need to get the other form, i havent asked my ex for every weekend or overnight yet ive only said that i would like this further down the line and all that i want right now is more time in the week, do you think i am being un realistic trying to get 2 days with him and what do you think my chances are of getting parental responsibility? as i said before i do not want my son to look at me as some stranger and my exs fella as his dad.there is a lot of bad stuff that i hknow about regarding her partner and things he has done to her and his own children, i dont want to bring all that into things but equally i dont want him around my boy as i dont trust him.

Hi again

It's my understanding that you ask for the contact that you would like and it's up to the court to make a decision on when the increases will happen. If you only ask for what you want now, you could have to return over time to ask for a variation of whatever Child Arrangement Order is given.

If your ex is already allowing contact and not denying your paternity, I see no reason why the PR won't be granted.

I understand that you wouldn't want to bring these things into the court application but depending on what these things are, they may have to be raised.

Once the court receive your application, you should receive a letter from Cafcass (the court appt'd social workers) giving you a date for a telephone interview. Prior to this interview, they will run PNC and SS checks on you and your ex and if there are any disclosures, you will both be asked about these during the phone call. Cafcass then produce a S2 Safeguarding letter setting out their recommendations to the court. If you have genuine concerns that do not show up on these checks, it might be worth mentioning them during this call.

Slim has written a guide to dealing with Cafcass in the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle page, it might be worth having a read.

In addition, it's worth writing yourself a short Position Statement ready for the first hearing, these are not a mandatory requirement but they're helpful for the court to see what it is you are asking for and a guideline for you to stick to during the Directions Hearing.

I'm going to private message you a document that another member sent me with guidelines of contact that might be helpful for you.

Good luck 🙂

Your request doesnt sound unreasonable to m3. You should have PR already as it is automatic if the child is born after 2003 (December I think).

Are you on the BC?

If you have concerns about her partner have you raised these with social services?

Regards,

Dave

Thanks Dave, im not on the BC as my ex refused to do this even though she promised she would, i did raise my concerns with social services before my son was even born but i never heard anything or know if they even looked into it. Things took a nose dive last night now when she came to pick my boy up from me, she informed me that access was stopping and she was going to a solicitor and doing it through court, i understand that you have to attend mediation before any court stuff, we have already been there and she refused to go back i have the form from them to show i attended but she didnt so i dont know how this is going to work now, do you have any idea? i want to try and get the contact order forms and parental responsibility forms in before that. she has timed this just right as she knows im not working right now so i cant afford to pay these costs or for a solicitor and i think its disgusting that the government has stopped funding to help people...

Hey Mick

Don't panic, get the forms ready to go. You will need the mediators to sign the form for you. If you're not working you will be exempt from court fees anyway. You don't need a solicitor, there's plenty of information to be had on here. Give Coram Children's Legal Centre a call, they have a helpline for free Legal Advice.

What area do you live in? (pm if you don't want to post that on a thread) You could go to the CAB or Families Need Fathers have branch meetings where you can meet other parents and get advice.

I agree it's dreadful that Legal Aid was removed but it's really not that difficult to do it alone. My partner would have qualified for Legal Aid but started the process too late and missed out. He used a McKenzie Friend, they can support you through the process and attend court with you for guidance, moral support and to take notes. They're not regulated so if you choose that route get one that's recommended. Families Need Fathers hold details of voluntary McKenzie's as well. If you call the Legal Aid helpline, they hold information on Law Centres where you might be able to get help from a trainee solicitor.

Post any questions you have and I'm sure someone will answer 🙂

Hi 1626,

I have the form from the mediator already signed so im guessing all i need to do now is fill in the forms and hand them into the court and wait? im from kent and ive looked at that families need fathers site and they dont have any meetings anywhere near me, CAB are useless as i went to them the other day and they said they couldnt help me as my ex was their "client" i thought they was supposed to give advice to anyone not pick and choose? I will look into all the other people you have suggested, thank you for all your advice and info, its nice to know that some people are willing to help others without an agenda or wanting something in return.

Mick.

That's correct. You send 3 copies of all the forms to the court nearest to where your child lives. It usually takes up to 10 days to get a response and the first hearing is usually 6-8 weeks from there.

I wasn't aware the CAB could do that, thought they were impartial.

No worries. We were in the same boat as you 18 months ago and the help I have received for my partner was fantastic, it's nice to be able to do it for others to say thank you.

I'm on Kent borders, there are def 2 FNF branch meetings in Kent as we contacted them. WIll have a look on the website and see if their info is up to date and send you a pm.

I can't find it on their website bizarrely! Have sent you a pm.....

ive emailed you on the email you sent