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5 Lessons As You Go From Dog To Sprog
Nearly a year ago I was “bullied” into getting a puppy. The wife had wanted a dog since we’d moved into our house, but I’d always been resistant. A bit like USA goalkeeper, Tim Howard, stubbornly keeping out all opposition shots until he eventually succumbed to the inevitable.
So we got a puppy and named him Dax. An eight-week old black and tan, long-haired dachshund. I’ve never really been a dog fan, but there’s something quite cool about a sausage dog with the long body, short legs and floppy ears. That actually sounds like my ideal woman too…
We soon learned that having a puppy was hard work. We didn’t expect it to be a breeze by any stretch of the imagination, but we didn’t expect it to be as much effort as it turned out to be (and continues to be).
I’m not speaking from experience (just yet), but it feels like having a puppy is a lot like having a baby. It’s certainly felt this way – disturbed sleeping, cleaning up mess, teaching and telling off, to name a few!
Here are some of the lessons I’ve picked up from having a puppy, which I’m hoping will help when we have a little human:
- Cherish the quiet times: If they’re not eating, cuddling, exploring, whining, misbehaving or expelling bodily products, puppies will tend to be asleep. This is the only time that you get to sit down, relax and contemplate what the [censored] you’ve signed up for. Remember not to move though as you might wake the puppy, which is a mistake as you won’t know when you’ll next get to sit down. Silence really is golden.
- Set boundaries and stick to them: A puppy will not miraculously understand what is acceptable and what is not. They have only recently come into the world prior to being ripped away from their mum and siblings. They need rules and boundaries which cannot change, no matter how much they bark or whine. If the puppy is going to be a “downstairs dog”, then they shouldn’t be allowed upstairs, no matter how cute or funny it is to see them tackle the momentous vertical challenge. Stick to your guns and don’t cave in when the boundaries are challenged.
- Enjoy your time together as a family: What’s the point of having a puppy or dog if you’re not going to spend time playing and going out for walks? Too many people have a dog but keep the furry beast trapped inside the house because “they aren’t good in the car”, “they don’t like other dogs” or “it is too much hassle to take him with us”. Brining a puppy into your household means they are part of your family. Enjoy the time you have as a family and do what you can together as a unit. Hay and I enjoy the time we have together when we take the dog for a walk as it gives us the chance to properly talk without distraction. This routine won’t be changing when the baby comes along, if anything it’ll be enhanced.
- Spend time training and teaching: As per point 2, a puppy doesn’t know what is right or wrong. They will also never know unless time is spent training so that they can understand basic commands and what behaviour is appropriate. I always considered dogs as “wild animals”, but having spent time training Dax, it is obvious that he wants to learn and wants to please. If you start training when they’re young, stay committed and patient throughout the process, and ignore bad behaviour but praise good, then you will reap the benefits in the medium-to-long term.
- Be prepared (or as prepared as possible): There is only so much you can learn beforehand, as being thrown into a particular situation is often the best way to learn. However, the time prior to having a puppy is key to ensuring that you are prepared. Not just in terms of stuff you need to buy, but also to get yourself in the right frame of mind and to have figured out how you’re going to approach the situation, e.g. in terms of training. Doing your research, reading around and leaning on those who have been through the experience already will make the whole thing a more enjoyable process.
Having read through the above points again, I’m pretty confident that if you substitute the word “puppy” for “baby”, each lesson would still make sense and be appropriate for a new mum and dad. Spooky! Maybe puppies and babies are more alike than we thought.
What do you guys think? Am I barking up the wrong tree with this comparison?
Read more on my blog at http://thedadventurer.com/
Somethings with dogs are easier (no sleepless nights etc) and some are harder (eg, I can leave my daughter with friends or family if we're going away - but wouldn't dream of doing the same with our dogs - they come with us, or we don't go 😀 )
Oh, and children eventually leave home 🙂
Thanks for the comment. Very true actd. When the baby is here, she can go stay with grandparents etc, but they'd never take the dog! I feel it'd be wishing my life away a bit too much if I already started to think of the baby leaving home when she's still got a month until she arrives 🙂
Why Is Pregnancy Like The World Cup?
Being a football lover, I don’t think I could forgive myself if I didn’t write about the World Cup. Rather than pencil my thoughts on the early exit of England, the exceptional team performance of Germany or how it has been the best World Cup ever, I thought I’d attempt to put a footy spin on my pregnancy musings.
I may be way off the mark having not yet experienced the joys of birth and raising a baby – Hayley is nearly 34 weeks at the moment – but I’m pretty confident it will be the same roller coaster ride that I experienced during the tournament in Brazil. The parallels between pregnancy and football are closer than we may have once envisaged:
Before The Event: It’s the only thing that is talked about. You discuss it with your friends, your family and even random strangers when at the pub. You can’t escape the subject. It’s all that you hear about, even if you don’t actually like it. No matter where you go, people will ask for your opinion and will give you theirs. All of a sudden people have become experts even if they have shown no interest previously. It’s all you think about. It becomes all encompassing and takes over your life. You prepare by reading magazines and watching TV shows on the event. You buy new stuff which only adds to the pressure, stress and excitement that you are feeling. You become increasingly aware of when it should start and ensure that you aren’t too far away in case you miss the beginning. It has been a long time coming, but you know that it will soon be here.
During The Event: It is finally here! You grab your bags and dash to where you’re going to watch it. All the preparation is thrown out of the window as you are engulfed in a flood of emotion. From nervous to excited and happy to scared, your body is awash with feelings. You cannot think straight. You cannot talk. All you can do is take in the wondrous event unfolding in front of your eyes. Some people you recognise, others you don’t. Either way, you watch as they demonstrate their superior skills and ability as you watch on in awe. Phrases such as “So close”, “Come on” and “Get in there” may escape from your mouth as you provide all of the support you can muster. The climatic finale is reached to a symphony of colours and noise. You celebrate by taking your shirt off. A tear runs down your cheek as you hug those around you in elation.
After The Event: You’re shell-shocked by what you’ve just witnessed, but the overriding emotion is one of elation. You’ve never been as happy as you are at this moment in time. But then, dread and doubt starts creeping in. How will you cope? What if you’re not ready? Is it too late to go back in time and experience it all again? Everything you once knew has changed. You are now in unknown territory. Scared, alone and vulnerable. But you know you need to step up. Your life is not over, it is just the beginning. This chapter may have closed and part of you may feel sad, but things will get better. Remember this as one of the best times of your life. Excitement tingles through your body for what the future holds. The main event may be over, but you know you have so much more to look forward to. You will soon be able to share in plenty of other milestones. After all, a lot will happen in the next four years…
What do you reckon? Have I found the back of the net or committed a professional foul by comparing football to pregnancy? Will my musings help me lift the Jules Rimet trophy or will I instead see red and be forced off for an early bath. Sorry, I’ll stop now…
Read more on my blog at www.thedadventurer.com
Has the football finished now? 🙂
All Star Mr and Mrs Pregnancy Q&A
In case you hadn’t realised, men and woman are pretty different. Not only do we have different interests, thought processes and driving ability, but the two sexes go through different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. In our first ever joint post, the missus and I do a pregnancy related Q&A to give our different perspectives on what it’s been like growing our little love goblin.
How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
Hayley: I was pleasantly surprised. I’d just come off the pill and thought it would be a few months before my body had got back to normal, so it was pretty surreal that I was pregnant within weeks. Overall, I was so chuffed as it was what we wanted and where our lives had been heading for the past few years.
Dave: It was a mix of emotions – happy, excited, nervous and apprehensive, probably with a bit of tiredness and hunger thrown in for good measure. There was also quite a bit of disbelief in there as it happened so fast and meant that I missed out on all of the “practice” we should have been doing. I’m used to usually having things mapped out in terms of what to do and how to do it, but this opened up an entire world of uncertainty – what do we do, who do we tell, what will change etc.
What’s been the worst thing about pregnancy?
Hayley: Probably that I’ve felt quite frustrated that I’ve been unable to do simple tasks like I did before I was pregnant. I now walk really slow, get out of breath easier and have a slight waddle! It also hurts and is uncomfortable to bend over to pick things up off the floor or stroke the dog. I also miss the fact that I’ve been unable to go out for a run. It’s also been a bit annoying trying to get into a position where I can sit or lay down without being poked in the ribs by the baby. But, I realise I’ve been pretty lucky on the whole and have had a straightforward pregnancy so far. I’ve not felt a lot of the bad things people normally talk about like heartburn, swollen ankles or morning sickness, so feel a bit bad complaining about relatively minor things!
Dave: Not a lot has changed to be honest. I’ve had to do a bit more housework and had to watch what I say sometimes, but that’s hardly bad. Hayley getting up to the toilet in the middle of the night has been a slight inconvenience but I’ve just about managed to cope! The worst thing has probably been the feeling of helplessness and uselessness at times – not being able to help Hayley in certain circumstances and not being able to contribute whatsoever to the development of the baby as she’s in her cocoon of love (well after my initial contribution at least!).
What’s been the best thing about pregnancy?
Hayley: There’s been a few things. I’ve enjoyed the excitement and anticipation of buying things for the baby and knowing that she’ll soon be with us wearing and using them. I’ve really enjoyed the past few months when I’ve been able to feel the baby move, especially when Dave has been able to feel movement, so we can share the experience together. I love learning about new things, so have really enjoyed reading all of the information out there on pregnancy so that I can understand how my body changes and how the baby grows – a bit sad I know!
Dave: It’s been really nice to see how excited our friends and family are about the baby. It sounds pretty obvious, but sometimes you forget how much people care and how nice they can be when you get good news. It’s also been really nice that I’ve been able to transform my mum and dad from parents into grandparents. It will be their first grandkid and made particularly special as we are having a girl and my parents had two boys when mum always wanted a girl. All the little things have been nice too – watching the bump grow, watching Hay bloom, decorating the nursery, buying baby stuff and thinking about a name.
Describe how the other half has been during pregnancy?
Hayley: Really good. He’s been very supportive and really preemptive. He’s done things like hooving, cooking and cleaning without needing to be asked. Also he’s been involved and interested in everything during the pregnancy. (Dave: this answer was not edited in anyway by me, I’m just that good!)
Dave: A real star! She’s barely complained and gone about growing a baby with minimal fuss. She’s also done a lot of the reading and researching of everything and bought the majority of stuff. I’d like to think I’ve been involved in pretty much all of the decisions, but I’m more of a sounding board rather than a doer when it comes to ordering things from Mothercare or Amazon. Let’s just say that without Hay, there’d be no imminent baby!
What type of parent do you think the other half will be?
Hayley: Probably exactly the same as he is with the dog! And by that I mean fun and playful, but makes sure that very clear boundaries are in place. I’d also imagine he’d be involved in all aspects of helping to raise the baby. Dave being Dave, he’ll be very hands on but it wont be a conscious action, it’s just how he naturally is. He’ll also really enjoy having a new little sidekick when she’s bigger, although the dog might not be too impressed at being replaced!
Dave: Hay thinks she isn’t very maternal, but I’m pretty sure she’ll pick it up really easily and surprise herself once the baby is here. I think she’ll be a really good listener and provide sound advice, whilst also helping to create a thirst for knowledge in the little one’s mind.
What’s been the best thing you’ve bought during pregnancy?
Hayley: The 4D scan was a great purchase. It made the pregnancy real for me, so that was well worth it. Just seeing the face and viewing her as a baby and not just a bump was special. From a selfish perspective, the maternity clothes I’ve bought have been good. If you’re already uncomfortable because you’re getting bigger, the last thing you want is to have tight fitting clothes. So I’ve definitely got my moneys worth out of under bump maternity trousers. My body has changed so much that having decent fitting clothes is one less thing to feel conscious about.
Dave: I can’t recall buying anything for myself, and as mentioned, Hayley has done the majority of baby purchases. The only thing I did buy was a pair of yellow sunglasses for the baby which I still think is a pretty cool purchase! I also really like the wall art stickers that we got for the nursery and think they make it much more of a kiddie room. The other thing I’m proud that I had a big say in was a pair of denim shorts-dungarees things for Hay. She wasn’t sure about wearing dungarees, but if you’re pregnant, you’ve got to wear them, right? Anyway, she eventually gave in and now has worn them a lot so it’s nice to be right!
How has pregnancy been different to what you expected?
Hayley: I really thought that I’d be the size of a house! Think Kim Kardashian when she was pregnant, just bigger! But I’ve not really changed – I’ve got a bump and my boobs are bigger, but that’s about it. I’ve also been a lot more worried than I imagined I’d be. We had a slight scare at the start which I think has made us both a bit more on edge as it’s shown how fragile pregnancy can be. It’s also been a lot quicker than I thought – everyone said it would fly by, but you think that 9 months is basically a year so it won’t go too fast. But, with around a month until she’s here, it doesn’t seem 5 minutes ago since we found out.
Dave: The main thing has really been around the missus. You hear stories of morning sickness, raging hormones, inconsolable weeping and huge cravings, but (as far as I’m aware!) she’s not really displayed any of this normal pregnancy behaviour. She felt a bit rough at the start but was never sick, her temperament hasn’t changed and her eating habits have remained pretty constant.
What things have you learnt during pregnancy which surprised you?
Hayley: (1) My ribs and organs have moved to make way for the baby, (2) Babies don’t have solid knee caps until they’re older, (3) Babies can only see things close-up and have some in-built insticts which allows them to make out faces.
Dave: I’ve learnt some proper fascinating, but equally repulsive, stuff. For instance, (1) A woman’s nipples get darker to make it easier for the baby to find them for breastfeeding, (2) The term “mucus plug” which discharges when the cervix begins to dilate, (3) The fact that a woman can rub and massage the bit between the front and rear exits to make it more pliable and less likely to rip during birth. The wonders of pregnancy, eh?!
What are you looking forward to over the next year?
Hayley: I’m really looking forward to getting out and about and doing things as a little family. Whether it’s simple things like putting the baby in a sling and going into the woods to walk the dog or having a day trip to Legoland. Christmas is also going to be amazing and the thought of buying stuff for our baby is pretty exciting but also very weird! It’s going to be difficult, but we’ll figure things out just like we’ve always done. It’ll be a pretty crazy learning curve but we’ll just get on with it as we do with everything. Oh yeah, it’ll also be nice to be off work for 10 months!
Dave: So much. The big thing I’m looking forward to is watching the baby grow, develop and learn as she becomes a proper person. I know we’re having a baby, but it’s weird to think that she will develop her own behaviours and personality and become a real girl – a female Pinocchio if you will, just hopefully without the big nose. I also love the fact that Hay and I will be at home together during her maternity leave. Being self-employed and working from home gives me the flexibility to play a key part in supporting Hay and raising the baby. Doing everything together, be it day trips, going for walks or changing nappies all have extra appeal knowing we’ll be doing it together.
What tips would you give to someone who has recently become pregnant?
Hayley: Make the effort to go to any pre-natal classes like pregnancy yoga or the NCT antenatal classes. Even though I had my reservations to start with, going has been definitely worth it and make me more confident about it all. I know what should happen and how to cope if things don’t go to plan, plus it’s given me the chance to meet others in the same situation.
Dave: Enjoy the experience of pregnancy and enjoy the time you have as a couple before the baby arrives. Don’t be afraid to be more selfish and tell people (nicely) what you want and what you don’t want – it’s your life and the start of your new family, so put yourselves first and don’t worry if that puts out a couple of people. There is a lot of baby stuff you can buy – figure out what you need and don’t go over the top. We live in a world where you can get plenty of stuff next day delivery, so don’t splash the cash until you need to. Also, we’ve hardly bought anything at full price. There are so many sales and discounts that you’ve got no reason to spend £500 on a cot, £700 on a pram or £40 per pair of maternity trousers.
That’s the Q&A over. We’ll be returning in the future for another Q&A, probably once the baby is here and we’ve had chance to get used to life as parents!
Did you find that you and your partner were much different to Hayley and I? Was there much you disagreed / agreed on?
Read more on my blog at www.thedadventurer.com
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