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Hi All, I am using this space to vent frustration.
I have been separated from my Ex for more than 4 years. We have 2 children, boy and girl aged 11 and 9.
We have sorted access and financials without any agency involvement and all has been working well.
I have the children every other weekend and alternate Mondays for overnight stays.
I have met someone else and since then there has been an increase in last minute requests for support by having the children, Usually I agree but there have been a couple of occassions where I haven't been able to due to Prior commitments with my new partner.
My Ex has now stated that I am putting the children last and that I am the one who destroyed the marriage and family and this will all be relayed to a solicitor. I have been able to restrain from screaming about this only by a great effort of will.
I have been very supportive, not missed a single maintenance payment, met her new partner not complained when they moved in together. It just seems that she wants a permnanent guilt hold over my life and will not alow me to move from that position.
We are working towards a divorce and I am terrified that she will somehow twist all this into reduced access to the children.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Hi there
It's such a pity that this has happened after things have been going well for so long.
It seems bizarre as she has moved on with a new partner that she should react this way! Still there's no fathoming some women.
I think your best course of action would be Mediation, as you have managed to reach agreement in the past I'm hopeful this will be the case again. Mediation is now compulsory before court when contact is an issue, but as you will be attending to your divorce in the near future, it should help getting everything sorted out in preparation. Here's a link to the mediation service
www.nfm.org.uk
If this doesn't work then you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order for defined contact. There usually has to be a good reason for the courts to reduce the amount of contact after it has been working for such a long time and a new partner 4 years after separation just won't wash!
Hi Mojo,
thanks for the response.
It transpires that she had a huge row with her new partner over the weekend and this was just lashing out at me as the easiest target. My kids informed me of the row without any prompting.
She has since apologised and no changes to arrangements are being sought.
I think mediation will have to be undertaken prior to the divorce proceedings anyway, but all I care about is that the children receive no more upsets to living conditions. Especially as my son starts secondary education in september.
Finding this forum has beena great help.
That's good news, but its a pity that the children were witness to this. I think mediation would be a good time to try and discuss keeping her relationship problems out of the childrens lives in future though.
This is a great forum for support and advice....glad we've been able to help!
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