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Dad in transition
 
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[Solved] Dad in transition

 
(@mhopwood)
Trusted Member Registered

Outside the coffe shop, it's literally a circus. Fairground music is blasting in from the high street. I picked the one day of the annual "fun" fair to work from home.

Strangely, I'm getting accustomed to the racket, and the free wifi and not-so-free coffee means that I'm having a productive day.

Two more weeks, and my contract on this project will end and then - well, that's the question.

I have a potential job in the offing - one that'll mean upping sticks (again!) and moving to Europe. And if it doesn't come through?

My wife could go back to work; she's on maternity leave right now with our second. I dread the thought of her returning to a long hours, macho workplace where she gets eye and brain strain on a daily basis.

But it looks like it'll be at least two weeks before I even hear about an interview, so in the mean time, I'm getting ready to be a Stay-at-Home-Dad to our two girls for a bit...

TO BE CONTINUED

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Topic starter Posted : 29/05/2013 7:08 pm
cmuwanguzi, cmuwanguzi, Goonerplum and 3 people reacted
(@mhopwood)
Trusted Member Registered

Well...

...last week saw my "dream job" interview, and now I'm back to the whirlwind of helping with the childcare and trying to put in a few more job applications before we fly off on holiday next week.

I feel I'm in transition in more ways than just the circumstances of our lives dictate.

Before I was married with children, I would have just shut myself inside with a list of jobs to apply for and done tons of CVs and letters until the interviews came in (and done some volunteering or study to keep busy and positive while "unemployed").

Now I don't have time and energy to write more than a couple of CVs per week, and I have to be really picky about how I invest that time!

Despite feeling a lot of the old negativity about being "unwanted by society" etc. I am amazed to find that actually, focussing just on the more attractive jobs to apply for (hey, there aren't that many overall in this wonderful economic crisis but I'm grateful there are a couple I can choose from!) rather than the scatter-gun approach I used to take feels great!

It's really hard trying to relax and take a back seat or maybe side-seat with the family as a whole and trust that everything will be OK.

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Topic starter Posted : 09/07/2013 1:17 pm
DadMod4 and DadMod4 reacted
(@mhopwood)
Trusted Member Registered

...sooooo, got the job! And then the real fun began.

We crazily decided to make the move in 2 phases, with my wife remaining with her mum abroad, me flying back to London to pack and then go alone to Germany to look for a flat.

Of course, everything possible went wrong, my internet connection here in Germany broke down, couldn't get phone reception to call my wife, got stressed and confused by all the details to arrange, and travelling around trying to use free public wifi...

...so I finally have a flat to bring my family too, now I'm sweating over the fact it's on the 5th floor of a big building, and we have a 3 year old and a newborn. Will I have sleepless nights from now on worrying if they will fall down the stairs or get trapped in the lift, etc etc. the next day????

And will we have enough money to pay the variety of insurance products, taxes, non-negotiable TV-license, etc. etc.?!?!

Can't help feeling we may have bitten off more than we can chew. Apart from that, Germany is lovely this time of year...!!!!!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 09/09/2013 9:24 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Good luck MH!

Relocating abroad is always very stressful, especially with the family in tow. Even the most confident amongst us have moments of self doubt when embarking into the unknown, I'm sure you and your family will be fine, and we will all be really interested to hear all about it!

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Posted : 09/09/2013 10:37 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

Wow, didn't realise you were moving abroad - that's something I'd dread doing (in fact, I found it bad enough moving a mile down the road when we'd been in a rented house for a year and half the stuff was still packed) so best of luck there, and keep in touch on here of course 🙂

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Posted : 11/09/2013 9:04 pm
(@Goonerplum)
Noble Member Registered

Germany - Wow. ;;)

How have you and the family settled in?

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Posted : 17/09/2013 2:12 pm
(@mhopwood)
Trusted Member Registered

Yeah, WOW! 🙂

We are not settled in as such... I am Camping out in the new flat so far, as a pioneer, then my wife is coming with the Kids in October... actually it´s even more complex as she is going back to our old flat first to take care of the move...

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Topic starter Posted : 17/09/2013 3:51 pm
(@Goonerplum)
Noble Member Registered

I am Camping out in the new flat so far, as a pioneer

😆 😆

Sounds like you're Bear Grylls.

Where in Germany are you?

Gooner

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Posted : 20/09/2013 2:59 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Looking forward to hearing all about family life in Germany!

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Posted : 20/09/2013 9:50 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

I am Camping out in the new flat so far, as a pioneer

😆 😆

Sounds like you're Bear Grylls.

In Germany, wouldn't that be Bier Grylls 😀 :whistle:

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Posted : 20/09/2013 10:36 pm
(@mhopwood)
Trusted Member Registered

ACTD, Bier and Grillen (having barbeques) - both two of the MAIN pastimes in Germany right now... especially with the Weltmeisterschaft (world cup)...

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Topic starter Posted : 14/06/2014 10:37 pm
(@mhopwood)
Trusted Member Registered

Well, we got a bit further than the camping out stage.

Flat is well furnished (some from IKEA, some our old IKEA stuff from London, and some random, good as new bits that people apparently just leave out on the street when moving...).

Kids are starting kindergarten (or in German, Kindergarten...) and wife planning to study for a Masters. Education is incredibly cheap here so this is a great deal.

All is well. Except my contract has ended and not been renewed. I.e. I need to look for work... thankfully we have a reasonable cash cushion from savings and some other bits and bobs, but this is not ideal.

I have one interview coming up in two weeks, for a British company but not exactly my normal line of work. Actually it's a job I would LOVE to do, I'm just not totally sure it's a long-term / responsible choice for the family. Still, if it pays the bills...

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Topic starter Posted : 14/06/2014 10:41 pm
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