[Solved] Blondie's Blog

Hey Blondie

I just replied to your other post about parenting plans before seeing this one.

I do hope your ex will engage in mediation but don't be surprised if she refuses.

Did anything change within either of your lives that signalled the sudden cessation of contact?

If your ex does refuse, you will need a form C100, the fee is 215 and the mediator will need to stamp the form before you can send the application in. Hopefully, she will agree to attend the mediation with you. Fingers crossed 🙂

...if court is the only avenue left open to you then when you come to fill out the C100 form make sure that you request that the court make an interim order for contact, otherwise it could mean further delays for you and your child. You would do this in the section which asks what you would like the court to do.

Good luck and looking forward to reading more of "Blondies Blog" 🙂

Thanks for comments, all extremely helpful & appreciated.

A little annoyed - the mediation company I'd been recommended to use were apparently shut over Christmas. So I'd made my application online & form showed as successfully submitted but I didn't receive an automated confirmation which I thought would be the minimum. I left ita day or two & then called only to reach an answer service informing me of their closure dates.

Hugely annoying as their website stated nothing toward this, nor was any email received after submission. The company in question write to the other party then after 5 days if they've heard nothing they follow up with phone calls so I was under the assumption the clock was ticking when in fact TODAY is actually the day they'll first receive my submission.

Understandable that they were shut but obviously hugely annoying given the circumstances. So hopefully today the letter will go out - I will be following up with them via phone to ensure there's progression & I'm not sat around waiting still at Step#1.

I hate mediators just as much as solicitors they're all aboard the gravy train now legal aid has been cut and the courts insist on going through a mediator before you can make an application, on the plus side the mediators are usually pretty quick off the mark in trying to arrange the initial meeting with the ex hopefully the ex won't turn up or refuses because if she agrees then it will drag out you making the application and it will cost you an arm and a leg as they are not cheap.

Unfortunately it's the court application which takes the most time so be prepared to strap yourself in for the ride you will need a whole bag of patience it will usually take 4-6 weeks before the first hearing is arranged after you submit your court application but it does feel good that you are making headway, use that time by doing research and start building your case and get to know the court system and look at how the process unfolds, you will get plenty of support from this site and everyone who's a member every step of the way, it's just a system where as the father you will have to jump through all the hoops tick all the boxes like I said it does take time but don't lose heart as you will defo get the out come you want 🙂

Thanks Slim, I've read a lot of your stuff prior to registering & it's already armed me & informed me so well.

As you know I'm at the start of what's exceedingly likely to be a lengthy process but I'd like to believe our prior arrangement will be reinstated & have the silver lining of it being legally binding/enforced.

Having said that I'm well aware that orders are no guarantee of not receiving further run around though!

So this morning , further to my little moan yesterday, I receive an email from the mediation company telling me they don't have my application due to technical issues on their website!! I have to re-submit it. Not impressed thus far & this just adds even further delay to their Xmas closure. I'm worried that this will have a negative impact on me & the delay could be used against me to try & show I don't care.

I will re-submit during my lunch break & follow up with a phonecall asking them to ensure the letter goes out for next day guaranteed delivery as way of them making up for their mistake.

Also can't help think how many other applicants are in this position & haven't followed-up or are assuming their application is being processed.

Just spoken with mediation company who to be fair were pretty apologetic. I'd emailed the completed PDF over & wanted to confirm receipt which I did.
Helpful lady who ran through a lot of info & I could sense she wanted to help as much as possible given the delay they'd inadvertently caused. She confirmed that she would write today for ex to receive tomorrow.

Probably going to get my Mediation Info & Assessment booked in for next week - that gives them time to write to my ex & call to establish whether she's going to be willing to attend mediation. The beauty being that if by the time my MIAM rolls round they're likely to know & therefore if she's not going to mediate I can be issued my C100 form.

Feels like I've got the ball rolling now.

Well, it's been a while so apologies for lack of updates.

Since my last post I initiated mediation to which my ex didn't even have the courtesy to decline them instead ignoring them. However, that wa sfine for me as it meant I was issued my C100 form, this was back in January. A night or two before the (enforced) MIAM my ex seemed to see the light and started to play ball with me and my requests.Yeah, yeah I know exactly what you're thinking and some of you even warned me at the time.

We "agreed"that we would start small and scale up. This was due to her having lost faith in trust in me (ridiculous justification as usual) and like a fool I bought into it. As the weeks went past I was being told I couldn't see my daughter because she had friends birthday parties and other invitations. I tried not to be cynical but as time rolled on it became very apparent that I was, once again, being strung along.

Fast forward to last weekend. Collected my daughter at the agreed time and place and returned her home at the agreed time. The following morning I receive the latest in a long, long line of text messages that frankly assassinated my character. FINAL STRAW.

I've now moved swiftly and decisively informing my ex via a very strongly worded lengthy email that I'd had enough and was this week making my application to court. I alreayd have the C100 which I was told at the time had a shelf life of 4 months so is still valid.

Naive and unfortunately my desire to want to see the good in people has led me to this point. Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing and I regret not dealing with it in January differently. However this is where I am and have a clear and defined process in front of me.
.

...well at least you know now that there is no negotiating with her!

I always advise members to try and avoid court at all costs, you were only acting in everyones best interests by taking your ex at her word and hoping that things would improve. You gave her every chance and she fell far short....it's a pity that you are now forced to take this action but sometimes it just can't be avoided.

We will advise and support you in any way we can, for now the best thing you can do is to keep all contact with your ex civil and child focused, don't be drawn into arguments and guard against putting yourself in a position where she can make allegations of harassment or DV against you.

Best of luck with it.

I don't blame you, you have to try and sort things out with the ex for the sake of little one atleast you know where you stand now, try not to worry as this will be sorted out and you will get a good solid court order in place at the end of it an d your ex will have to play ball like NJ said you'll get some awesome support off us all every step of the way, the court process is a nightmare but I'd much rather that than having to pander to my ex's every whim just to see my daughter, just be careful with strong worded emails ect to her as she can get a non mol slapped on you at the drop of a hat.

Good luck

Slim 🙂