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So my son had some papers presented to him at the front door last night. They were for a non molestation order. The order in itself is fine, he wants to stay away from his babys mother, but the paperwork that went with the order were full of lies. Apparently my son beat his ex up on a regular basis? She had injuries, she had emotional abuse blah blah blah...
1. Why did she stay with him? It was only went he ended the relationship did she move home
2. Why would anyone say such horrible lies? Oh yes because earlier this week she recieved the paperwork confirming that my son was going to court to gain some access to his baby girl who he has only met once.
3. She has no evidence at all to back her up, yet the court have allowed this order to be made.
So we have a meeting with a solicitor on Wed, the solicitor is going to court with him the following week. Then we are going to ask the same solicitor to go to the first hearing in November. All this is going to cost my son dearly. He is trying to save for a mortgage so that he can give his daughter a nice home to go to when he see her (not that ours isnt I'd like to point out!), now all this money is going to be spent on a woman who is becoming more unstable as time goes on. argghhhh
Sorry rant over. I am embarassed to be a woman/mum sometimes when other women/mums act like this...
Hello Morten ,Im a mother of a son that is going through the same thing ,However when police records were searched turned out that it was my sons ex that had 11 convictions 7 for violence my son had one conviction for a gun licence ! now aint that interesting ,My son is and the end of all his court orders & should next month get to see his son for the first time in a year and a half via contact centre ! at a cost of £72 a visit & £5 towards "her" travel !! its cost him thousands to get this far including a drugs test that she demanded at a cost of £500 which needless to say he passed ,She just wanted to drain him ,Good luck to you & your son ,Its a long hard road ,But hang on in there ,If i can help in any way let me know ,weve been where your starting so got the paper work .
Exactly the same happened to me once I filed for a contact order to see my Daughter and Step Daughter my Ex tried and failed to get a non mol slapped on me she used the same lies to stop access, she accused me of Domestic Violence, Domestic abuse to her she accused me of hitting my step daughter and various other things all of which were just fabricated lies.
To be honest the courts have heard all this before but they initially air on the side of caution as there could be truth in it so thats why they issue the non mol, when it gets to court the first thing everyone will ask is did your report it to anyone? the police? social services? ect ect when the answer comes back no things start to become apparent.
The courts will be interested to see if the allegations came to light after the c100 was submitted so then again the ex will start to show herself up for being a lier.
The Courts will be far more interested if your son is a threat to the child/children and if theres no major concerns then all will be cool.
Like I said the courts have seen all this before so I know its hard but you really dont have to worry it will seem like its all going in the ex's favour but as long as your sons are consistent as the months go on the ex will be sussed out I wish I knew this 9 months ago, at the end of the day the courts will always promote contact for a father to see their child it is the law they will bend over backwards to make sure it happens so try not to worry.
You cant do anything about the allegations their ex's will come up with and there will be plenty more to come try not to let it bother you or your sons just concentrate on the case and building up a good one.
There's no need for it to cost a fortune and there's no need for a solicitor if your son is pretty confident then he could go it alone solicitors make a habit of dragging everything out so they make more money, I had all these allegations and I've fought on my own without any legal help what so ever and all is going my way now and I have contact so it is doable and you will find plenty of other dads on this site have done the same 🙂
The funny thing is my ex thinks the courts has cost me a fortune and it hasn't really The mediation cost me £200 application £215 the real expense has been the drug tests which have all been negative at £220 a pop, with days off work stationary printer ink ect ect all in all I'm probs running at about £1100.
I got quoted between £6500 - £17000 by 3 solicitors and I have managed to get contact in exactly 5 months with an interim order in place so roughly 3 x quicker than if I used a solicitor.
Thank you very much everyone, you are all such a great support. We have never had to go through anything like this before so even though its wrong its good to know that its happening to other people and you have all come out the other side. My son isnt really confident so we have a solicitor representing him on monday as she wants to ask for police disclosure, hospital reports etc. Then hopefully when the final hearing comes around she will be there to. I think we can probably do the rest ourselves, but we may need a but of help from you all. 🙂
You have all helped me cheer up for the weekend. Its horrible to be unable to do anything, the one thing you want to do in life is protect your children, no matter what their age.
Your help is very much appreciated.
Thank you
Something I was sent the other day that you may find interesting.
http://www.familylaw.co.uk/system/redactor_assets/documents/1807/Duration_of_ex_parte_orders.pdf
It's awful for the extended family It breaks my heart having my Mum, Grandmar, Sister all crying down the phone because they are not allowed to see my daughter, she's a year old today and 40 members of my family have not met her yet.
My Mum has had to stop trying to deal with my ex as all she does is hold her to ransom to see my Girl she never thanks her for cards, presents clothes she sends down and my family have started to send 2 cards one to me and one to my daughter as we've heard my ex throws everything away so the other card I keep for my girl when she's older, my mum writes to my daughter every week and sends me the letters, I wonder if the day will ever come when my ex sees the light?
Mr Slim I hope one day your family will see your daughter, it must be heartbreaking for them and you. I am sure that day will come just remember how happy that day will be. At this point in time I want my son to see his daughter but I obviously like your family want to be part of her life. I am shutting my emotions out at the moment because I haven't met her yet it is a lot easier to do this and it's self preservation. My daughter was allowed to meet her niece for 5 mins while my son was made to stand outside the front door with the door shut!
I really do feel for your mum. I think these ex partners are like this because they know it hurts you to see your family unhappy. I know this is what my sons ex is doing.
We are all stronger than we think we are, hopefully we'll all get there eventually and these poor kids will realise it was their mothers causing all the problems and we all tried our best.
Good luck
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