[Solved] Your opinions please

I've never been and would hate to go to court over my kids. I feel the same as you in the fact that it's difficult to bring issues to light cos the mothers think they can just over rule any arrangements and change contact as they see fit. From what you've said it sounds like you've got some pretty damning evidence against her which all points to a potential welfare issue for your son.

I think if you go into court with an open mind and be as honest, sincere and as factual as possible the courts may look favourably on your case.

Good luck and I hope you get the best result for your son as possible
Bxx

Hi There,

I think as has been said that you have a good case, don't be duanted by court it isn't as bad as you think and actually the courts system and judges are more concerned with the welfare of the child/children involved rather than keeping a child with the mother.

I know it seems as though this is the case as most mothers have residency but don't be fooled into thinking this is par for the course.

I know actd (another moderator on here) has been through court and won the battle his children now live with him, so it can be the case that the mother doesn't rule all.

With regards to court just be prepaired it's better to be over prepped than under, well I don't think you could be over actually LOL

Have all the evidence you need to present your case, and stay factual, stay away from phrases like....

I think

I believe

In my oppinion

and stay with fact, so...

What I can show you

What I have found

I can prove that

That way you will stay on the right side and avoid any come back from the ex saying that what you believe or feel doesn't come into it.

The court proccess can take a long time so be prepaired for that too, it isn't a quick and easy thing to do, and can be drawn out, as said the judge needs to digest everything that is said and ensure that any ruling will be the best result for the child.

I would also be ready with evidence that your partner hasn't assulted your ex, contact the police and ask them for something to state that no charges have been brought.

GTTS

thank you so much guys. ive been reading through the threads on here and its given me so much confidence. coming across this site has been a god send. i wish you all the best.

Your welcome,

Keep us up to date and if you have any specific questions just ask.

GTTS

Sounds like you've got a good case mate, you've defo come to the right place for help and advice, this site has been a god send for me I don't know what I would of done without it!

I had my first directions hearing last week and I've wrote a little sticky at the top of the Legal section, check out the other sticky's there to the guide to representing yourself is amazing!

Slim 🙂

Just wanted to let you know that I have applied for sole residency of my two children, I have regular weekly contact with them but they have been exposed to DV, abuse from mother emotional and physical and she is not taking care of the needs very well, my children request to live with me ...after a year of trying to debate with their mother her only reason was no I can't afford for you to have them! I decided to apply to court , believe me I have wanted to run a million miles away from court but when you are doing the best for your children it's what spurs you on ,

have a good read of the board it's been my life saver in gaining knowledge I even submitted a much better formatted and evidenced statement that my ex did with her solicitor that gives you a confidence boast when they can not even number pages lol ...it's a rollercoaster but one in which you know what ever he outcome you did all you could for your child .

Hi guys, just a update. Had the first hearing last week, my sons mother didnt bother to turn up. The judge wasnt impressed and the cafcass report on her was pretty damning. It stated my son is at potential significant risk of harm. Due to the recorded incidents of domestic violence between her and partner. Also, cafcass hasnt been able to contact her as she wouldnt answer her phone or reply to voicemails left. Needless to say, i still havnt seen my son :(. i was hoping for an interim order to be put in place. I made the judge aware that i firmly believe that my child's welfare and best interests would be met if i had residence and the cafcass report has only confirmed my belierfs. I feel left in limbo in the mean time. As she didnt turn up, what happens next? Has anyone experienced this? Many thanks for your kind help

What did the judge order? Has he adjourned to re serve on the mother? Has he indicated when the next hearing will be? Have you applied for residence of your son or contact?

I would imagine that at the next hearing the judge will order more in depth reports from both police and the social services and from your sons school.

In the meantime it might help to,contact the SS and share your worries with them. I would also write into the court and ask them to set aside extra time at the next hearing to consider awarding you an interim order.

Hi, yes the judge said thete will be a in depth report undertaken. He gave a date for the next hearing in 3 months time bit will try to push it through earlier if possible. Ive spoke to the social worker who is involved with my son's mother but she seems very rude/unhelpful and unwilling to give me insight to whats going on. Even though the judge said im entitled to know. I think the cafcass report os at odds with what the social worker thinks. Im awaiting papers from court this week but knowing my ex, she will do everything she can to avoid court or co operating with anyone. Its a nightmare, 3 months seems a long long way off.

Ive applied for 'child arrangement order' but made clear i want residence. Thanks fortaking the time to reply 🙂

Well that's good, he could have adjourned until the mother is present but he appears to be pushing on with it.

It's a pity SS aren't on board so to speak but it doesn't surprise me. You can request to see your sons file, that will help inform you of the situation...you are entitled under the freedom of information act.

If the mother continues to ignore the court she will end up being threatened with arrest and it will go in your favour at some point.