[Solved] Without notice letter

If you don't agree with what you're being accused of in the NMO, DO NOT AGREE, they can then possibly use it in future hearings against you as you agreed to what is stated in court. (My wife tried the same stunt)

By all means use it in court if needs be that mother is not really wanting the NMO but using it as leverage.

I’d have to echo what Ironman08 has said.

I’m guessing her Non-Mol includes the usual stuff i.e. you’re violent, abusive and she’s scared of you etc. etc..
If you haven’t been that to her then contest the Non Mol if you haven’t done anything to warrant it.

Use in your defence that letter from your ex’s legal team stating she’ll withdraw her Non-Mol application if you accept the allegations…
i would personally say to court something along the lines of “why would she offer to withdraw the Non-Mol if she was truly a victim of what she has claimed in it”

If you do and are offered to take an undertaking to the court not to do or say certain stuff to her then ask that she undertake exactly the same….what’s good for her is good for you!

Accepting the Non-Mol or her allegations will give her way more leverage over you in future and the police will not accept your version of events should she ever use them as intimidation tactics to you….trust me! and trust thousands of others who’ve fallen foul of vindictive ex’s!

NMO has reported me hitting son, he told his grandmother(who he cannot stand) and then mother. Cafcass have said they do not think this happened in section 7 and son did not mention it either, hence the offer from solicitors. The rest of NMO has her being assaulted but no date, witnesses or injuries and it happened 5 weeks previously but she did not think of reporting it then.. police dismissed it and said I gave a comprehensive account explaining I had made 2 safeguarding alerts and opened court proceedings and then she made allegation. I have other police disclosures of her being given a harassment warning for spiting at me and kicking my wing mirror of car, when I was with 3 month old son-he is 8 now. Another disclosure has her getting me arrested in 2010 for threats to kill, arrested and then gave police phone with threatening messages and abuse to myself and family. Also telling me her brother knew where I lived and worked. When police called she admitted sending the messages and said she only wanted an injunction anyway! again no evidence, texts, emails, nothing and all on police disclosure. lots of other ridiculous things in current statement, wrong dates and dates that don't even exist 31st June, for example. Again no evidence, texts or statements, same as last time.

Whatever happens I am attending and fighting NMO as it is ridiculous-I will go out on my shield. To think after 6 months of not seeing my son for lies I will take an undertaking. I could have took that at the start. I want to cross examine her in a polite way but pull the lies apart, it should not be hard.

Only thing is that I am ignoring letter from solicitor saying ex says that I can attend school this Friday to pick up son for weekend and this can happen every 2 weeks. I have an NMO preventing me from going within 100 meters off school and I do not trust them. I only have 3 weeks to NMO and will take my chances. I am going to do everything by the letter of court so I cannot blame myself if it goes wrong.

The clue is in your username.

It is a long road and at times we have to accept things as a temporary measure.

No matter how many carrots she dangles, don't bite. It will likely be an attempt at manipulation rather than anything positive.

You have the letter from her solictor, with the offer of a resumption of contact. If it were me, I would give the police a call and ask them for advice on this issue, they may well say, that as the mother made the offer, you wouldn't be in breach of the NMO with regards to the school.

Might it be possible to wait in the car and have a third party do the school pick up and drop off, that way you wouldn't breach it... just a thought.

Thats a great thought Mojo.

I went to see the police and they said i could be breached as solicitors cannot decide to change conditions of order without a court hearing..

I am going to ask my brother in law if he can pick son up and i will be waiting 100 meters or more away. Same for drop off- then as police said technically there is no breach if i do that. Same for drop off. i will still be fighting NMO without a doubt. Lets see if i can get family for pick up and drop off. This could also strengthen hand at NMO not weaken it, as long as i make sure there is no technical breach, However main thing is seeing my little boy after all this time

As stated above, check with the police.

If you examine the non-mol it will say something like "do not xxxxx or cause any other person to do so". So no matter who contacts her, if it is on your behalf it is technically a breach.

You wrote this in another thread...

Hi All,

just as an add on to this as part of my NMO order it stated that I should not go within 100 metres of my sons school without them inviting me. Do I need to ask them to put in writing that they invite me every second week to pick up my son. I am just thinking could this be used as a technical breach even though solicitor says ex agrees to me attending school to pick up son. I am always cynical and do not want to make a mistake.

... I would have thought that the letter from the solictor is effectively an invitation to pick your son up. I do feel that with the solicitors letter and from the condition that you mentioned above, you should be ok.

Best of luck with it and do let us know how you get on.

Thanks Mojo.

I have decided not to go to school. Originally I emailed solicitor saying I would attend last night but just dad was technically correct.
If you examine the non-mol it will say something like "do not xxxxx or cause any other person to do so". So no matter who contacts her, if it is on your behalf it is technically a breach.

I emailed the solicitor back this morning and informed them that I declined the offer. If my sons mum was in school at the same time as me technically I cannot be within 100 metres of wherever she is, so even then I would be in breach. My ex has had me arrested, reported me to police and manipulated and lied. There is only 3 weeks to go and I do not want to make a mistake that allows her to breach me.

Thanks so much to everyone who has contributed to my topic, which has allowed me to come to my decision. I would be lost without this forum.

That's understandable... just a shame for your boy.

All the best

It's awful 🙁

If we could trust solicitors or the police to apply common sense and fairness along with honesty in these situations it would be simple. Sadly that's not the case, solicitors do lie, some police officers are incompetent and the end result is usually that the father is seen to be the offender. Before you know it,there is a breach on file with a pending prosecution and nobody sees past that word "breach".

One thing I would do is perhaps email the judge who issued the non mol with a request for a variation on the basis that this "offer" has been put to you. I'm sure you wouldn't have too much trouble if you can provide the evidence getting a variation without a hearing.

Good luck. My heart bleeds for you. I've been there so many times.