[Solved] Where do I start?

I have some ongoing proceedings in the court about another child from a seperate mother. This is going to a final hearing hopefully and has been moved up to a circuit judge.

I have two elder children who are soon to be 8 and 10. I split up with their mother 5 years ago. We remained on good terms and often went on family days out etc. For those 5 years I haf the children for half the week every week and would usually pick them up for an evening in the week. I would have daily contact with the children on the phone or webcam. In this time I always had issues around the mothers parenting. I pointed it out on occasions but was always undrr the threat of she would stop me seeing them so it was always a difficult subject to approach. Not to go into too much detail but social services were involved in the past due to the state of mothers house and the mother was told by them 5he children were not to return their until it was cleaned throughly. There is also a history of child negelct from other members of her family and drugs alcohol and family.

Whilst I was unhappy about this as I was heavily involved in their lives so I was able to manage the risks. I was able to bath the chikdten when with me etc. Last year things got worse again. There was two incidents in the family that caused me concern concerning my children cousins. One who is less than 2 almost drowned and spent a long time in hospital due to being unsupervised in a garden with a pond. Another cousin who is 8 was out riding a bike a considerable distance from home without a helmet and fell off and brain damage was caused. The mother my childrens Aunty was drinking at the time and was unaware where their child was.

My childrens uncle is a heavy drug user(herion) he hanged himself from the attic and his children had to cut him down. He narrowly avoided death.

My children and the other children in the family are always left with the grandmother. The grand mother is disabled and is hooked up to an oxygen machine. The kids go in and out as they please anf the grand mother is unable to givr them the care that children require.

The mother of my childrens house had once again become unlivable. There was cat poo everywhere etc. I had my eldest child with me at the time and the youngest was with the mother. I then heard a rumour that my ex had been sexually abused by her Dad. I took this time to confront my ex about all the issues I had. It didnt go down to well and I started recieving threats etc as I then made a referall to social services. I still had my eldest child with me.

At this time I will admit I had a breakdown due to all the stress of many things going on in my life. I made an attempt on my life but more of a cry for help. My chikd was present but didnt see although was aware. This then triggured social services involvement for the next few months although by the time they visited by exs house it had been cleaned and all new stuff brought and redecorated.

Due to the rumours about the grand father and the threats I recieved I stupidly responded to these with threats myself to the grand father through my ex as I didnt want my child near him.

Didnt hear nothing from my ex for two weeks. I tried to contact her many times nome threatening apologising and trying to sort arrangements out about me seeing my other children amd her seeing the child that was with me. My current partner managed to speak to her a few times.

I was then arrested on thrwats to kill later downgranded to harrassment fear of violence. This was reported two weeks after the texts were sent and coimcidently I was arrested the day the children returned to school followimf the summer holidays. Most likely because I would have collceted both children from school. Before I was arrested I also recieved a text saying if I gave my other child back they wouldnt phone the police. Blackmail for sure. Poloce wasnt interested in that though.

I pleaded guilty and got given 28 weeks inside amd served 14 weeks. In that time I had a few visits from the social worker. Never wanted to listen to my concerns as they were unfounded. The children made it clear to social services they wanted to see me and missed me. Up until now despite feeling a injustice I took my sentance on the chin. Oh as I was away my car was smashed up and someome tried tp break into my house to attack my pregnant partner. So the threats I recieved were carried out but the threats I made were empty ones. Not that the poloce were interested.

I have had real difficulties with the social worker involved. Ive had a lack of commumication. Didnt recieve any paper work until I asked for it and the papers I did recieve was heavily edited that ommited anything about the mother and the concerns they have about her parenting. Yet the mother has been given a full version. How is tjat fair?

Since my release I have attempted to sort contact out through social services. They have been useless and have said as the mother says no there is nothing they can do. Sure it would be different if it was the other way around! In this time I have also had another child so fewl very sad my children are not involved. The social worker has refused to try to sort out any comtact between my partner our new child and my elder children. I feel its important my children meet their brother.

As parr of my sentance i recieved a restraining order to not contact my ex and to not go to the area they live. As my childrens school is in that area and I have always attended all parents evenings and plays I applied to the magistrates court to get this changed. This was rejected today. My ex gave a statement saying she is terrorfied of me etc and the children have no wish to ever see me again and the children dont want me going to parents evenings etc. This has left me pretty broken.

Up until now I have taken my sentance despite my injustice I feel. I have kept a lot of my concerns to myself. I have teied to sort comtact oit in everyway possible. As I have other stuff going on I have took the view my children miss me and want to see me and have expressed that to the social worker so just left it for a bit to let it all calm down. After hearing today at courr what my ex said it has really upset me. My children are being brainwashed. How can they say 3 mo ths ago they wanna see me now suddenly at the time it looks like court proceedings are to start they now say they dont want to see me? Social services have made a report 3 months ago stating that contact should happen as its in the best interests of the children.

The social worker has said previpusly the children were told by mother what I done which I dont think was right. They have now been ppoisoned by their mother which is surely emotional abuse? Turni g them against me etc?

I am deeply sorry for my actions in the past. I should have been the bigger person and not responded to the threats I got but I held my hands up and accepted it and dis my punishment. I used my time in prison constructively and gained qualifications. As a first time prisoner it was a life changing experience. Im still haunted by that experience today and its one I shall never experience again. Its changed me as a person and made me appreciate life. What ever happens outside doesnt come close to as being as bad as prison and some of the things I saw being surrounded by local 'famous' murderers etc.

So now I am a crossroads what to do. What is the deal with mediation wpuld this still need to happen with the restraining order?

Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading.

Due to the