[Solved] where do i stand

Hi and welcome on here.

The first step is going to be mediation to see if there is any way forward with regards to contact, though a 300 mile each way journey means there is going to make contact quite difficult. try www.nfm.org.uk

weegieman? are u in Glasgow? my understanding of Scottish child law I think is that she cannot leave Scotland without your say so. If she has left you can take her to court..

Weegieman,

Your description of your situation sounds very much like the situation I found myself in just over a year ago. My ex moved 250 miles away when we split up. However, I have been able to see my son every 2 weeks for the last year, so it is possible. My last court case, which is resulted in a final order being made has put in place a schedule of contact where my son can come to visit me at my home too during certain parts of the year.

Unfortunately my ex refused mediation when I offered it to her, so I had no choice to but to seek the assistance of the court to help arrange contact.

See if you can set up mediation with your ex because then you can sit down and try to come to some agreement as to what contact can be put in place.

It is difficult when the child lives far away from you. But it can work. It takes a lot of effort and sacrifice. I am guessing the fact you are posting here for advice means that you intend to put in that effort.

When it comes down to it, good communication with your ex partner is crucial in making the contact work. If both of you are reasonable, then I don't see why a good pattern of contact cannot be put in place and expanded upon as time goes by. Try mediation first and go into it with an open mind, and hopefully you can get an arrangement you are happy with.

You mention your rights, however, in situations like this, fathers rights do not really exist in the eyes of the law or the courts. Of course to a normal person, if they see a father has his kid taken from him, it is massive injustice and of course wrong. And the father does really suffer because of it. I know that. The courts though, only really consider the rights of the child. So when you go to mediation, you MUST come across as making arrangements that are in the best interests of the child and not yourself. That is critically important.

Post back if you have any question, I will answer when I can as I'm sure others will too. Good luck 🙂

Simon.

Hi thanks for advice guys ye I'm in Scotland im just going through the abusive text message stage I'm keep ing calm and not reacting hard though...

... and hopefully keeping a diary.

hi bit of a update

travelled down gave ex 5 days notice when i d be down and time she was nt there travelled back up not seen my son in 2 months only communicate via email past month or so now leaves a paper trail but she stopped replying to me i email every day asking about my son trying to not go through lawyers on this but hitting a brick wall she is christening our son in her church we are different religions to spite me ,trying to make out im violent which is total lies asking for my criminal record !! go ahead get it you ll be sadly disappointed claiming no one in my family including myself is capable of looking after our son so he wont leave her side! i set up a direct debit before she threatened csa (i had already contacted them gave all my details ) in case she contact them.
said about meeting in a contact centre she went mad how could i want to put our son through that,started the online parenting plan invited her to join got a email from her saying that was a joke turning into a mess now im at my wits end but keeping calm

Have you contacted a mediator? I think you need to get moving on that and then onto court if necessary as it doesn't look like you're going to get anywhere fast in the meantime, especially with the distance involved.

emailed her today asking if she d consider mediation no reply will I need to contact a mediator in Scotland or England ? im going to phone http://www.sclc.org.uk. tomorrow great pity its come to this can she go ahead with the christening ?

I suspect that mediation would need to be near the mother, but because of the distance, it may well be that you can get the form FM1 signed straight away as mediation would probably be impractical - SCLC will hopefully be able to tell you.

ok thanks I ll post back what they say

no replies now for days went to a families need fathers meeting this week got my eyes opened managed to speak to few guys and a lawyer there spoke to mediation here and down south mediation up here will sign paperwork as long as this covers in England as it will be through the English court contacted local court in England c100 form came today also spoke to disclosure Scotland paperwork due and will prove exactly as I thought claims of violence total lies,
still hoping this can be resolved without going through legal process last thing I want is social workers getting involved my ex is a great mother cant fault her in any way but using our son as a weapon and making it hard for me to spend time with him is wrong no matter our differences hard enough with the distance between us
think I will wait until next time I see her face to face if she turns up that is show her I have the forms and if we cant sort this between us I WILL go through the courts leaving the decision to involve courts and social workers entirely up to her ?