[Solved] what would you do...

You can write a letter to the court and ask to take an undertaking, without accepting guilt... or you could wait for the hearing and state your request at that point.

Even with an undertaking without guilt, it wouldn't stop the S7 and courts would usually want to wait until they've seen the report before they agree to contact taking place. You could apply with a C2 form to ask for it to be bought back for new directions, to consider supervised contact in the interim, but there are no guarantees, and as the child isn't at risk, they wouldn't bring it back immediately, there would still be a wait.

You could write to the court, addressing the judge that was sitting at the FHDRA, and state that you have dropped the contested and ask if the case can be bought back to court to look at an interim order for contact whilst the S7 is being prepared.

As Mojo said about taking an Undertaking to the court sounds straight forward however if you have not done anything to warrant the Non-Mol i would advise against taking an undertaking.

i did this because i too thought it would help speed up things so i could see my child, at the time i'd not seen (child) for almost 2mths, the judge bascially guided me to the decision of taking an undertaking based on if i contested the Non-Mol then it'd would be set for a finding of fact / trial and that could take another 2-3mths to get it back to court....i hadn't done any of what my ex was trying to say i had to get the Non-Mol against me...and i had plenty of proof to back me up.
however....i decided to take the undertaking that i'd not go anywhere near the ex nor contact her about anything other than certain matters we were needing to have contact over (house sale / estate agents etc...)

contact still took another month to get going again and then when she stopped contact again and i had to apply to court for enforcement she then tried to deceive the court in to believing i had a Non-mol against me.....it took a contested hearing some 3mths later to prove her lies and prove it was only an undertaking....however by that time it'd been another 5mths without seeing my child.

The S7 will have to be completed and in my experiences over the last 7yrs it seems to take 12-14wks for that.

Another thing for you to consider is that if you give an undertaking, your ex is more likely to be eligible for legal aid, which she can then use to keep the child away from you for longer. Doesn't mean she would do that, but she certainly could.

I understand how low it must feel for you at the moment and I imagine you just want everything to go away and have a relationship with your child. That relationship will come, I'm sorry it has to be this hard. I was "lucky" that I was "only" kept away from my child for 4 weeks, it was hard, I tried to use that time to work on myself and become a better father, because that was all I could do.

With regards to wether you should give an undertaking, I think it's unlikely to speed things up much, and it depends more on whether you think the court will award a non-molestation order or not.

Thanks everyone

The problem is that I know I sent her a couple of texts over the years saying stupid things due to heated arguments but there again I have recorded calls with her on same day she applied for non molestation saying she will never stop me seeing my son and talking about us going out and organising family days out so it's the risk that if judge does find facts that I used any violence (which in my eyes I havnt) that could affect my s7 report?

The other grounds I have is

Her 1 st statement is different to her 2nd so maybe that's good grounds to contest?

Hi there

I understand how you are feeling, but only you can make the decision whether to contest or not. I wish I could tell you that you will get the result you want, but it's impossible to predict the outcome; you have to weigh it all up and make that call yourself.

Without knowing all of the details of your specific case, it would be wrong of me to make an assumption, if you feel you have a good case, I advise you to concentrate on putting your evidence across to the court as clearly and concisely as you can, pointing out the differences in her statement and her assurances to spend time together as a family, even while she was making an application for an NMO.

Best of luck

guess there is no right or wrong answer on this 🙁

i will answer to her 2nd statement and see what happens at the pre trial

thanks everyone 🙂

And I know it's easier said than done, but if you do contest it, you have to stay calm at all times. One day this will all be a distant memory.

During one of my hearings, the ex just kept going on and on saying horrible things about me, I just wanted to leave the courtroom.

The way I got through it was to close my eyes and imagine myself in a boat during a storm, waiting for the storm to pass. Eventually it did, and so will yours.

Just make sure you don't do nor say anything that makes things worse.

The other thing that worked for me was to not attack the ex. In your statement, I suggest you be firm but kind.

yeah ive learnt not to rise to her rubbish 😆

if i accepted the order with no admission of guilt.....does that mean she cant drag them allegations through contact hearings?

No, it doesn't stop her repeating allegations through child proceedings.

As i said in my reply.....even though i agreed (niavely) to take an undertaking and it being specified as a non-admission of guilt....it didn't stop the ex trying to claim she had a Non-mol out agaist me in later hearings and with the police and CAFCASS etc...