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I posted a while ago saying my ex had claimed she'd changed our childrens names and given her new man parental responsibility by way of court order. As I have parental responsibility this should not have been possible without my consent and I knew nothing about it until she gloated to me about it.
Well thinking it was yet another lie I contacted the court, and it turned out yes she had done it and they gave me the case reference number. My solicitor said this should not have been possible so he requested copies of the court papers.
Ive had to chase and chase the court as they dragged their heels for many weeks, lost my letter etc. Finally 3 months after my ex contacted me I have been provided with copies of her court application.
Well she's completely lied through her back teeth on the entire application, making out I have been absent form the childrens lives for years (not true, she stopped access a year ago, up until then I was seeing them every week), stated that I am uncontactable and my whereabouts unknown (total rubbish - she had many means of contacting me, including how she contacted me to gloat). She represented herself and gave in my details the name and address of a solicitor I used years ago rather than my current one who I've used to battle her for the last 3 years.
And the court have took her word! They made a half hearted attempt to contact me through the old solicitors who dont even exist anymore, and when that drew a blank they went to the department of work and pensions who provided my address, which by pure bad luck I moved out of about a week beforehand, and for some reason the mail re-direct I had set up failed to re-direct to me!
However, the court orders were issued less than 2 weeks after they attempted to make contact with me, hardly long enough I could easily have been away on holiday! And they could have contacted my work directly, traced me through the CSA who I pay maintenance through (they didnt even ask if I paid maintenance even though they can see I'm employed), looked on electoral role etc etc.
I have evidence oin many different forms of her blatant lies - under oath. The court advised me to take it to the police which I did, and they have confirmed my ex has committed purjury, however they say it is a civil matter for the court to deal with rather than a criminal matter. They also agree the court have failed to do their job properly.
The court are denying any responsibility as they say they were misled by my ex and had no reason to doubt what she said!
They are extremely slow in responding to my emails and the direct line numbers of who I need to speak to are always going to voicemail.
My fathers rights have been totally breached, not to mention the stress and upset this has caused. The court have failed me and copletely mishandled the case, and my ex is laughing all the way.
Anyone know what I can do? Any help much appreciated! Thanks for reading.
Hi , didnt want to read and run,. Its so not fair what she has done and how wrong the court was. I do know more then one person can have a P R but they would need your permission and clearly they have not. I hope someone can advise on here what your next step is.
When she stopped you seeing the kids could you not go to court for a contact order as you have a P R .
Good luck, dont give up
Hi, thanks for your response.
I havent taken it to court as I dont get legal aid and was quoted £8,000 to do so. Which I dont have. She informed me that should I take her to court that she has no intention of turning up. I sought legal advice regarding this and was told that basically if she didnt turn up then the whole case would fold and go back to square one. I simply cannot afford to do that. So I dont know what to do. She's threatened me with legal action if I try and so much as call or try and contact them. I really dont know what to do next with it. Ive contacted my local MP who was no help whatsoever.
I understand any amount of people can have parental responsibility, just not without my consent. The name change was really my main issue; I addressed the issue last year when my children informed me she was intending to do so (they were very upset about it) and I have a solicitors letter here from last year assuring me that she had no intention of changing their names and that she was well aware of the legalities surrounding this and that she would need my consent to do so.
Hi
could you not take her to court your self, this is what we are doing, it will cost £200 to get a contact order to court. My brother did it last year, his ex stopped him seeing his 3 kids and he didnt see them for 12 months as the stress reaally got to him, he went to see a solicitor and they told him it would cost a lot of money but on his way out the solicitor gave him the forms to do it himself, he now sees his kids and she was told off by the judge.
Hi
As you have a solicitor, we cannot ask the CCLC for advice. However, I would be inclined to represent yourself and possibly use your solicitor for consultations where necessary (but make sure you have all questions written down each time you see him to get the best value for money) if you still wish to use them.
I think with the evidence of what has happened - plus the fact that she contacted you to tell you what she has done, so obviously knew how to contact you, this isn't going to look good in court for her, and if she fails to turn up, it's going to make it even harder on her. I would go for it because, as I have said before to other dads, you really have absolutely nothing to lose by trying, and everything to gain.
Thanks for your replies.
Regarding the access maybe representing myself would be a good option, definately something to look into. The only thing is because of the high amount of maintenance I pay I dont have alot of free money.....I could afford it initially just not repeatedly if she fails to turn up etc. I also know if she got forced to allow access after one visit she would stop it again claiming the children were traumatised/upset etc etc, this is what she does and has done ever since we seperated. She is very bitter and unfortunately has little else to do with her life.
With the court orders I just dont know what to do. The court wont admit they have done anything wrong and she has blatantly committed purjury. I need someone to take it seriously and do something, I am tired of spending my lunch hours and evenings repeatedly calling and emailing people to be fobbed off. Its unbelievable.
hi steve
There should only be a one-off application fee, so you aren't talking repeat fees, but there will be a lot of hard work. Personally, I would forget trying to get the court to admit a mistake (they did make some efforts to contact you), but concentrate on getting them to rectify the situation in light of the fact that your ex lied - she is the one at fault far more than the courts are.
Hi Steve
I have printed off the forms from the goverment site to start a contct order adn a PR im also going to see if my son is entitled to some legal aid, I have more time then him so this is why im helping him also I want to see my Grandaughter as she has now banned me !! I have done nothing wrong neither as my son and family. I just dont understand women who do this and why, I think its a control thing. My son has never even lived with this girl so shes not even a scorned ex. I think she just wants her daughter to her self, which she got for the first 15 months and then she allowed my son to see her as she felt guilty and wanted money, then she wanted her boyfriend to adopt her daughter, then she cancelled her wedding a month before, shes fickle ..
I think you should go for a contact order asap it will come up in court who has Pr and maybe this will bring the other situation to a head.you need to see your kids , when your kis re older they can change there name back to yours, all this will come back to bite her one day. Do one thing at a time, CONTACT !!!!
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