[Solved] What to do ?

Tread carefully letting the courts and Cafcass know if you have reached agreement if you think your ex might not stick to it as you could end up with a 'no order'.

If you manage to agree, do you think you would be able to agree on everything? If you can only agree on some things, you can put the remaining issues before the court at the next hearing?

How long is the next hearing listed for? If it's for a couple of hours, I would just wait until the next hearing and let the court know when you arrive that you have reached a partial agreement. If it's listed for a whole day, I would let them know in writing so they can list a shorter hearing as they won't thank you for wasting court time. You could say that given the history of the matter, you believe an order is necessary for the best interests of your child and to save having to return to court at a later date.

Good luck, glad it's heading in a positive direction. 🙂

I wouldn't upset the applecart and I'd just wait to the next hearing I wouldn't trust her at all I have an order in place and I still don't trust my ex as far as I could throw her, What about them sick allegations she made up about you? My ex tried all this your saying and the courts said under no circumstances sack off the court case as the ex could stop contact then it will take months to get another hearing and you risk been banned from making future applications.

I wouldn't try and get an early hearing either as Cafcass will be looking into them allegations I suspect your ex is being like mine and doing everything possible to get us to stop the case she pulled out all the stops and wanted to try mediation ect ect as she knew the court would of gone in my favour they can't handle losing control end of story.

Like I said wait until the hearing if she wants to be cooporative she still will be at court and you can see over the next few months the courts always try a little mediation them selves and they are [censored] good at it as they like you to come to an agreement, I honestly think you are getting lead up the garden path so be very very careful mate

My ex tried doing this, was all nice and cival. When I refused she got nasty. Do not fall for it.

Thanks all, pleas don't worry I wont fall for anything. This might sound a bit cold but what i'm starting to do is put my old work head back on, almost like our situation is a case i'm working on, it's helping to put the emotions to one side, so that I can think rationally how to deal with each situation. Wife is starting to understand that its not about me and her, its about son, what she carnt get her head round is that for all she's said and done, I haven't said a bad word about her, to court to CAFCASS ive always said "she is a wonderful mother". She is now realizing the only way forward is to talk and most important is to listen to each other, one of the most important things I learned years ago is how to listen, not interrupt, not to ignore and take on board what the other person has said and don't jump to conclusions. I will not drop my guard, I can well understand that what she is doing is to try and get me to drop court, I wont, I want a cast iron written agreement that can be put before judge. I've given her an inch and gained a foot, next step is i'm going to ask her to arrange contact for next weekend and see where that takes us. The concern I do have is do I have to inform CAFCASS because of the allegation that wife made in court, I don't want to get on the wrong side of them given that I have such a good Safe Guarding Report from them.

If she doe's go ahead with contact next weekend then she has completely destroyed all allegations she has made before cafcass and the courts but you are also leaving yourself wide open for further allegations so you're going to have to play it very careful indeed, Obviously you are going to want to go ahead and have contact so I'd be waiting to get a defo that contact is going to be taking place before saying anything to cafcass, Your ex must not realise the gravity of them allegations she made, they were pretty shocking I'm sure the courts and cafcass will take an extremely dim view of her if she does go ahead with contact it's absolutely bonkers.

That's defo the best plan to take all the emotions out of it, you're in a great position that you have a glowing cafcass report and you couldn't have a better case to be fair and your wife will know that, like I said before even if you can't get a written statement together to be rubber stamped by the court they will do a bit of mediating in court anyway and if she is willing to cooperate they will talk her into coming to an agreement anyway.

Good luck with it all and just be very very careful 🙂

...it's the very best thing you can do to disengage emotionally and great that you can do so and have experience of case work where emotions cannot be allowed to interfere...having experience if this will make it easier for you I'm sure.

I wouldn't inform CAFCASS about contact taking place until after the event, because as Slim says this will blow her allegations out of the water. No parent in their right mind would facilitate contact if such allegations were true! That will strengthen your argument in this regard.

The fact that CAFCASS gave you a good report won't be jeopardised by arranging contact, in fact it will back their initial judgement of you and make it easier for the court to move things forward. If contact is unsupervised then that should set the precedent for further contact to be conducted in the same way.