[Solved] What to do ?

Glad to hear that there was a sensible conversation but I wouldnt put any trust in words, actions speak louder.

You can still work with her for the betterment of the children and see the court process through. If she doesnt like that then I would be suspicious.

Alternatively you can tell her you would consider stopping if she meets your requests and lets you see your children but dont stop just on her word.

Thats my jaded and suspicious 2 cents.

Regards,

Dave

DO NOT TRUST HER, DO NOT SACK OFF COURT OR CAFCASS THAT IS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO AT THIS STAGE MATE!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

My ex done exactly the same when she knew the game was up she WILL screw you over and stop access again don't forget this is the same women who accused you of them horrendous things, remember that

Slim

I am glad that you both managed to be civil to each other and have a good talk but as the others have said, don't let your guard down and don't trust her. Both work together for the sake of your son.

When do you get to see him next?

Your right, think I just got blown away with conversation, what I have thought about doing is, there is a program available through court and CAFCASS, basically where CAFCASS become befrienders on order of court, its for where contact is eventually going to be granted but the parents don't know or find it hard to talk and agree,they facilitate a bit like mediation but allot more in depth, i'm going to ask CAFCASS about it.

You will find the ex will start to chill once court is out the way, once that air of conflict is not there on both sides and she see's your not going to give up they usually calm it a little, the Courts will push for you to both to work together for the sake of little one and I found them to be very good mediators, I can't see your ex taking to kindly to more involvement by cafcass so I'd be wary.

It's good that you have been communicating also so I would try and build on that more than anything I had to swallow a tonne of pride and eat humble pie and force myself to be nice and it did and has worked wonders with my ex so give that a go 🙂

Your right again SLIM,you once told take one day at a time, did drop my guard though, said I would replace her car sound system, its [censored], we love our music, think that softened her a bit.

That is the way forward for sure, my way was a bunch of flowers and cool hard cash lol, I also offered to buy clothes for both girls she agreed and I think she saw it as a bit of a tester so I trundled off to the shops and bought them I was crapping it if they weren't the right size, style or the correct colour coordination ect but they were all warmly received indeed and apparently I done well lol

It's still early days for me and it is total baby steps but I'm amazed she has had my mobile number for 11 days now and not one bit of abuse! I'm so pleased the courts are over it's all so exhausting I've only left my bed in the past 12 days to go to work and do call outs I think it's going to take a few months to get over the past year battling through the courts!

I wouldn't stop it either. The Cafcass plan sounds like a great option. It's good that you have spoken though, perhaps if the subject is raised again, you can say to her that it is probably for the best that there is a formal arrangement in place and that it will give you both security and no misunderstandings going forward, that you're not being confrontational and that if there is such an agreement in place that you can both try to move forward together amicably? Good luck with it 🙂

Agree with all of the above.

The fact that she has had this "change of heart" but then follows up with a request to stop proceedings makes it highly likely that this is nothing more than a tactic. It's great that you have opened a line of communication and I hope that this can continue.

How about suggesting that you come up with an agreement between you and then get the court to write it into an order - no cafcass involvement necessary that way, but you still get the order and with any luck, it should be a quick hearing if the court are happy that it's best for the children. But you still want the penalty clause attached in case she goes back on it.

Thanks for all replies, wife and I have been messaging each other all week, just brief but nice, been very seriously poorly this week so told her I didn't want son seeing me ill, bit of a gamble but she agreed, going to ask her if we can meet together next weekend. I wont stop court, if we can come to agreement what is the process? as were not in court till end of March, do I write to court manager asking for early hearing or is that CAFCASS's responsibility, could we use parenting plan for an order. The hard bit is trying to trust someone who's tried to destroy me, that's really difficult.