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I am hoping someone can help with some advice as to where I stand legally.
To cut a long story short , we have a 4 yr old son and moved into rented accommodation about 4 years ago but i paid everything and I was the named tenant. A year ago I sold a property I owned and bought a bigger property and we all moved in, but it was still only in my name and she has never paid any of the mortgage or utility bills.
The relationship has now broken down and i have asked her to leave but she is saying she will not leave until I give her all the furniture (even though I paid for it) and a monetary settlement to keep our son in the life he has become accustomed to and she wants paying for the time she spent stripping some walls on the new house of wallpaper and time choosing paint!!!!!. She has come up with a figure of 10,000 pounds (not sure how) and she also threatened that I would not see my son unless I met these demands (which I know she cannot legally do)
My query is what legal right has she got to anything bearing in mind we have a son together and how do i get her out of my house as I can't see that she is going anywhere unless I change the locks.
I will of course be supporting my son through maintenance payments
Hi David,
This isn't my area of expertise, but I would expect that one of the other dads will be along soon with some advice.
As I've said this isn't my area of expertise, but I would ask this one question - were you married to your ex partner?
If you need advice quickly I would contact the Children's Legal Centre for advice regarding contact with your child and maintanance issues. There's a link to the Children's Legal Centre at the foot of the page.
As regards the property issue, I would suggest that you get some real legal advice from a solicitor. Most firms will offer you an initial 45 minute consultation, which is usually free of charge. Everything after that first consultation will be charged by the hour.
Cheers,
FM '70
Hi, thanks for your response.
We are not married and I have paid for everything including all the bills in the relationship.
I don't think she will use our son as a pawn in the argument (at least I hope she won't)
Ok. This is what the direct.gov.uk website has to say about cohabitation, "There are over four million couples living together in England and Wales in cohabitation, and they are given legal protection in several areas. However, they and their families have significantly fewer rights and responsibilities than people who are married or who have formed a civil partnership.
Many people think that, after living with their partner for a few years, they become 'common law husband and wife' with the same rights as married couples. This is not the case. In fact, couples who live together have hardly any of the same rights as married couples or civil partners.
There is no such thing as ‘common law marriage’.
If you are living together as a couple, there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your partner. There are also ways to minimise the legal and financial problems which may arise if you decide to separate, or if one of you dies.
You can find out about the current rights of cohabiting couples from Advicenow – an independent website offering information on rights and legal issues. Their ‘Living Together’ campaign is intended to make both opposite and same-[censored] cohabitants more aware of their legal status. The campaign also provides advice on how to protect yourself and your family, should you wish to do so."
There's also some guidance on the same website about splitting up and the implications on property and possesions. You can find it here:
As I said earlier I am by no means an expert on this. I highly recommend that you seek out a solicitor and obtain real legal advice about your rights. Once you've had this advice I would maybe think about inviting your ex to mediation to discuss a) contact with your child and b) a mutually acceptable arrangement that facilitates her departure from your property.
If you can come to an agreement I would suggest that you look to have the contact arrangements enshrined into a court order. If she goes back on your arrangment over contact you will have the security (for as much as it is actually worth) of knowing you can approach the court to have the order enforced.
Good luck!
Hi David
As FM has said, you need to see a solicitor to get some proper legal advice, or you could try the citizens advice bureau. Unfortunately I don't share your optimism about her not using you son as a pawn - if she doesn't get her own way, then she may feel she has little choice.
I have to agree with ACTD here. I think you have to prepare yourself for the very real possibility that your ex will become obstructive when it comes to contact.
I think you need to suggest mediation to your ex, which means looking at family mediation services in your area. However, I can't stress the importance of going to get some real legal advice about the property and possessions issue. Get that advice first, speak to the Childrens Legal service or a solicitor about contact and then make an offer of mediation to your ex.
If you have to go to court for contact, the courts will have expected you to have attempted mediation prior to your application. So it's best to take the inititiative on this.
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