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So last year I went to court and had got an order for little one to spend every other weekend with me and half of all holidays. Things started off ok however slowly it has been squeezed. I came out of work in December as I was facing redundancy, I explained to Mum that if it made things easier I could do the same times on any days as long as I get the time I don't mind. This also started ok but slowly dwindled, its now at the point where I'm picking up my daughter at 6/7pm and dropping her back at 8am. I had a holiday booked to take her with my family but this was canceled due to sickness and then Thursday I was supposed to take her out for the day but was told due to severe weather warnings it wasn't a good idea.. I'm at the point where I don't feel I can plan anything for the sadness of letting family members down. I'm also sitting outside the house again sometimes 20 minutes after arranged pick up times. I feel stupid that I have let the order slip but it was all with good intentions 🙁
Hi
It's probably worth sending an email or text to the mother to say that you would like to stick as closely as possible to the order (or lengths of time specified in the order, whichever is correct) and that it would be better if you can agree this together. Just make sure you do this in writing.
If she won't play ball, then your only other choice is to apply for enforcement using a C79 form. Perhaps if she says no, you can warn her that you will have no other choice than to enforce the order.
Best wishes
Hi There,
.
I agree with Yoda, if you write to her and make it an official letter, sent recorded delivery asking for the contact order points to be met, if she fails to go back to this, then write another informing her that you will return to court for an enforcement order if they don't return to what was stated in the order.
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GTTS
Thanks for your replies, what about the fact that I said that we didn't have to do weekends anymore? Will this go down as me breaking the order? The message I put was that If it helps I can do other days, as long as I get my time.
Hi there
Strictly speaking, if you wanted to change the times of the order you would need to apply for a variation, but that would necessitate attending mediation beforehand. Suggesting alternatives isn't breaching.
She is obviously breaching, and it seems to me that this needs firmer handling... as Yoda and GTTS suggest, a formal letter to insist that contact returns to that set out in the order is your first step, I wouldn't try and get flexibility from her as she seems to take full advantage of this...get back to the order, but offer to do extra during the week whilst you are not at work.
As far as cancelling because of the hot weather, that's unacceptable, you are equally as capable of taking care of your child's needs in the heat as she is! I would point out that that is not a good enough reason to cancel, further, you should state that any contact lost due to illness or other reasons must be made up as soon as possible. Point out that you must be allowed to make plans for holidays and other planned actitivities without worrying whether it will be cancelled at the last minute, it's your child's right to be able to rely on you, without you having to let her down through no fault of your own.
Enforcement applications don't need mediation to have been attempted first, I would suggest that you point out that the schedule set out in the order must be adhered to, if not you will have no choice but to make an application for enforcement.
All the best
...I would also add that when you are kept waiting at pick up you will add that time onto the end of the contact....it might encourage her to be on time!
Thanks MoJo much appreciated!
Hi There,
.
I can't add much to what Mojo has written above, other than maybe send a copy of the order with your letter so everything is there to hand when she reads the letter.
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Good luck and keep us posted.
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GTTS
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