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Hi All.
I am new to the site so a little bit of help is needed please!?
I have 3 wonderfull children that I have overnight from Friday to Saturday every weekend. Me and my ex currently have an agreement for me to pay a certain amount of money into the bank for thier maintainance. She has started to ask for more money which I deem to be unreasonable.
She has threatened to go to the CSA, which i am more than willing to do to make sure that i am paying the correct amount.
As I have not "bowed to her demands" she has now told me that I am not going to see my children anymore!
I have already stated to her (after the conversation) that I am more than willing to go through the CSA to make sure that i am paying the correct amount but her reply was "You go and speak to them to set it up".
I have stated that I will continue to pay what we had agreed un till otherwise notified by the CSA.
Am i doing the right thing?
I dont want to lose contact with my children but she has done something like this in the past and I never saw them for around 5 months!
I just want to know what legal rights do I have to see my children as I dont beleive that going through the courts is putting my childrens best interests at heart as they will be "dragged" along for the ride by being interviewd by various authorities and that is not something I want to put my kids through!!
Some advice please?
Thanks guys!
New here myself, but I would say start a case, submit all the information to the CSA, and open a case, if you are wanting to go that route.
I wanted to do the same thing, but when the CSA contacted her, she refused it as she presumably thought she could get more through mediation.
My preference is for the CSA as well, as my income can go up and down, and naturally after agreeing to a mediation agreement (which was subject to change of circumstances) I lost my contract (job) and of course she still wanted the same amount - exactly why I wanted to go through the CSA.
Good luck my friend.
Hi
Firstly, maintenance and contact are separate issues - what your ex is doing is completely wrong.
Your children will not be dragged through the courts, Cafcass will talk to the children, and they are trained and experienced in doing this - it's not stressful for the children (though your ex may try to pressure them to say certain things, which won't improve matters). It may be worth considering mediation if you ex will agree - the CSA calculator is generally the basis that the courts use for maintenance (go to the CSA website for their calculator) and if your ex doesn't want to agree to the mediated solution, a court would be 'interested' in knowing why not. I'd give the National Mediation Service a call on 0300 4000 636.
However, I will add that since you have had good contact in the past, if it goes to court, I would expect the starting point to be picking up the same level of contact that you have had in the past, and possibly increasing it further.
Have a read of yoji's guide to representing yourself at the top of the legal section - this will give you a lot of advice on the procedures for applying for a contact order.
Hi,
Basically you have no legal right to see your children, it is your childrens rights to see you.
Contact and money are not linked and it is wrong of your ex to make seeing them dependant on you paying. However equally you should be paying and should not stop paying if you are not seeing them!
Your ex has requested that you go to the CSA, and you have refused. I think rather than have a battle about it, you could contact them yourself and set it up. Its really not worth antagonising and inflaming the situation more for given that you both seem to be happy to use the CSA. Have you checked the maintenance calculator to see how much more/less you would have to pay? It could be worth doing that. You could then email your ex (if you will be required to pay less) stating that the CSA indicates you need to pay £x less, does she still want you to contact them and that you will do so within 7 days if you dont hear back from her.
I would then send further communications stating that you want contact reinstated immediately (Specifiy the current contact you are having), that contact and finances are not linked and that you have sent her a seperate communication regarding the finances (as you dont want it to get mixed up in the contact issues). Again give her a time limit to respond to you. If she doesnt do so, send her another email again requesting reinstatement of contact (again spelling out what your current contact was) and tell her you have contact a mediation service who will be in touch again shortly. If she fails to allow contact then you have to go to court.
HOw old are your children?
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