Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I was in the same situation as yourself, I took advice and was told as a baby needs a feed roughly every 4 hours it would have to be inbetween the feeds so 3 hours max once a week. The legal system sees it as a baby needs time to bond with it's mother, harsh I know. Of course when my child was born everything then went pear shaped.
If I was you I would slap in a contact application the day your child is born, make sure you get yourself on the birth cert or agree PR. My child was born in May 2012, I thought it would be wrong to go to court straight away, I left the mother and child to bond for a few months then I discovered she was denying all contact so I went to court in Oct 2012. Between May and Oct she had made happy families with another bloke and I was pushed out of my childs life. My child is almost 2 and I'm still going through court and have not got any closer so my advice is don't let the same happen to you. Get your application in as soon as possible.
Right now you think your ex wont make up [censored] etc, I used to think the same. But once the child was born the ex denied me seeing him as she didn't want to be parted from the child.
I'm in two minds about getting the order just after the birth. On one hand despite the animosity between us I don't want to put added pressure during which will already be a stressful time for her. Plus if she sees I'm using court then I'm sure she'll refuse the hour offered and given how long these things take it could be months before I see the baby.
I was in the same situation as yourself, I took advice and was told as a baby needs a feed roughly every 4 hours it would have to be inbetween the feeds so 3 hours max once a week. The legal system sees it as a baby needs time to bond with it's mother, harsh I know. Of course when my child was born everything then went pear shaped.
If I was you I would slap in a contact application the day your child is born, make sure you get yourself on the birth cert or agree PR. My child was born in May 2012, I thought it would be wrong to go to court straight away, I left the mother and child to bond for a few months then I discovered she was denying all contact so I went to court in Oct 2012. Between May and Oct she had made happy families with another bloke and I was pushed out of my childs life. My child is almost 2 and I'm still going through court and have not got any closer so my advice is don't let the same happen to you. Get your application in as soon as possible.
Right now you think your ex wont make up [censored] etc, I used to think the same. But once the child was born the ex denied me seeing him as she didn't want to be parted from the child.
I'm in two minds about getting the order just after the birth. On one hand despite the animosity between us I don't want to put added pressure during which will already be a stressful time for her. Plus if she sees I'm using court then I'm sure she'll refuse the hour offered and given how long these things take it could be months before I see the baby.
I knoe exactly the situation you are in, I was in it myself. I was thinking exactly how you are now. Despite our parting I was still buying baby clothes etc and doing everything I could to support them both.
The baby was born, I was told 24 hours after and the agreed name was changed and he was registered at hospital, ok I took that on the chin the baby was here and I needed to put my feelings aside so I could do what I could for the baby. As soon as the baby was here the ex changed, everything that was agreed went out the window. It was a stressful time for her and I did all I could to support her but I wish I had thought about myself today ratger than her. She promised me she wouodn't ever stop me seeing my son, two years later and i've spent 12 hours max with my child.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.