[Solved] What kind of access can I expect?

Access will depend on age.

I have our children who are 6 and 3 Fri-Monday alternate and every Wednesday but as I understand your child will be quite young so and hour or 2 may be all you get.

Id ask for the 3-4 hours and you may get 2 or so.

Regards,

Dave

Thank you for your reply.

Do you think the age of the child is likely to cause a problem for me to have unsupervised access?

It shouldnt but it may depending on what spin your ex puts on things.

If you can show that you are capable of caring for your child unsupervised then it shouldnt be a problem.

There are others who have had unsupervised access for young children so it shouldnt really be an issue.

Overnights may be an issue if your child is breast feeding which may result on only 2-4 hour contacts.

Remember though that as your child gets older the needs will change and you can request more access.

Regards,

Dave

Again thanks for that - given the distance (2 hour drive) between us overnight access isn't something I'd realistically hope for and more importantly wouldn't be what I'd consider to be in the child's best interests.

What sort of things could be said (or suggested) that could prevent unsupervised access?

I guess usually refrences to domestic violence, your mental health, your ability to care for the child and maybe the lack of appropriate facilities/accomodation would be what I would expect to be used as obsticals to unsupervised access.

Also if the child is very young and dependant on mother that may also be used.

Regards,

Dave

That's good advice.

As you have another child you probably have experience of looking after little ones which would go in your favour, and the fact that you have maintained regular contact with your other child.

As Dave says, initially you couldn't expect more than a couple of hours, especially if she is breast feeding but you can expect more than once a month in my opinion.

You would need to think about how you would like to increase contact as the child gets older. It might be that for the first three months you might have to accept supervised contact. Then a half a day for a further three months and so on. By the time the child is 18 /24 months overnights should start. Putting together a schedule of increasing contact shows that you are thoughtful to the mothers and child's needs.

Best of luck

Cheers guys.

As I said at this stage any kind of 'overnight' is out of the question due to the the child only being a baby plus that I live 110 miles away. I know a few people in her area but none whose home I'd feel confident taking the baby to as a 'base' while I'm there which I feel may weaken my case for unsupervised access.

If need calls for it I'll hire a hotel room - not so I can get overnight access which again I stress wouldn't be what I'd consider to be in the child's best interests - that way I'll have somewhere to take him/her.

I have no idea how these things work or what sort of decisions the court could make but is it feasible they might grant something like 4 hours' access, with 2 (or whatever) of those being supervised or at the ex's house to allow for breastfeeding etc?

Also if I use one of the mediation agencies but the ex refuses to accept their suggestion or won't even agree to them mediating is that likely to go in my favour should it get to court for axcess? I cannot see any legitimate reasons for her refusal for either of these.

The mediation agencies won't suggest anything as far as I am aware (though not used one myself) - they are there to try to get you to reach an agreement. If one can't be found, then the next step is court for a contact order - you would need form FM1 from the mediation service.

Hi, have not been on as signed in for a while, but this post caught my eye.

Please could Dave R tell me what school holiday contact you have, (assume 6 yo at school) and do you take to school or nursery on the Monday morning.

Thanks all

I was in the same situation as yourself, I took advice and was told as a baby needs a feed roughly every 4 hours it would have to be inbetween the feeds so 3 hours max once a week. The legal system sees it as a baby needs time to bond with it's mother, harsh I know. Of course when my child was born everything then went pear shaped.

If I was you I would slap in a contact application the day your child is born, make sure you get yourself on the birth cert or agree PR. My child was born in May 2012, I thought it would be wrong to go to court straight away, I left the mother and child to bond for a few months then I discovered she was denying all contact so I went to court in Oct 2012. Between May and Oct she had made happy families with another bloke and I was pushed out of my childs life. My child is almost 2 and I'm still going through court and have not got any closer so my advice is don't let the same happen to you. Get your application in as soon as possible.

Right now you think your ex wont make up [censored] etc, I used to think the same. But once the child was born the ex denied me seeing him as she didn't want to be parted from the child.