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Hi, I am due my first court attendance regarding access to my son. I have parent responsiility and my son is 3 and a half. My ex left me in October last year. She has refused any contact on the basis that I was to give up smoking cannabis and attend councelling as I was abusive towards my ex during the relationship. I since gave up smoking cannabis and have just recently had a hair strand test which came back negative from june onwards. However this information does not seem to make my ex feel any different because she wants another test to show that I'm still not using it. I also went to see my doctor and sought help and got myself some councelling sessions. Anyhow at the beginning of June I get a knock on the door from the police with alleged charges of ABH. (8 months later after any incidents) I went to court end of July and ended up with a charge of harrasment with the intent to put fear in my ex from voilence. I got a 121 day suspended sentence as long as I attend a domestic voilence program in which happens to start tonight for 9 continueos months. My attendance regarding access to see my son is what I would like to know about really. What's likely to happen? I've got a pre court hearing with my counsel. I then get given 30 minutes in front of the judge. I do intentionally at the end of the day want full custody of my son. But for now contact is good enough. My ex has moved 3 hours travel away from me and I miss my son a lot. We had such a good bond. My ex is as far as I can guess is going try to keep my son away from me as long as possible. What do I need to prove to the judge that will consider near on immediate contact. Am I likely to get it? I look forward to anyones feedback
Hi Bigfoot6000
Firstly welcome to dadtalk
I have sent a link to your thread to our legal experts over at the Children's Legal Centre, it may take a few days to respond do please do hang in there
Cheers
Hi,
On the basis that your ex has custody of your son, and on your record of substance abuse, (and this is my opinion only), would say it's extremely unlikely that you would get custody of your son - partly because of your substance abuse, but mainly because your son is settled with your ex, and unless the court has compelling reasons to take your son away from your ex, they are going to leave him where he is.
There is nothing you can do about your ex moving three hours away (I've been in exactly that situation in the past) - she can move wherever she wants as long as she doesn't take him permanently (or holidays of more than a month) out of the country . As for your ex asking you to produce further hair samples to show you haven't smoked cannabis since the original test, I would say that this is a reasonable measure on her part - otherwise, what is to stop you using it again - the courts hold the welfare and safety of your son as paramount importance.
I would suggest that your best course is to go for supervised contact with your son, and give the court a legal undertaking not to take any substances (alcohol or drugs) before or during contact. Once you have a reliable record of contact built up, you may be able to seek staying contact, but I don't think that custody will ever be a viable option.
Dear Bigfoot6000,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.
The courts usually are in favour of contact between children and parents, as this is thought to be in the child’s best interests and will be granted following most court proceedings when it is safe for the child.
The initial court hearing usually decides very little, the court may hear skeleton arguments, order for reports to be made regarding the situation (usually by CAFCASS and sometime social services) and decide on whether basic interim contact should be granted. You are able to request interim contact whilst proceedings are ongoing and it may be advisable to do this as the proceedings can take up to a year to be completed. Interim contact will often be supervised contact until the court have heard the case and all the details and have decided that unsupervised direct contact is appropriate.
It is very rare that some form of contact is not granted by the court. This does not necessarily mean overnight contact immediately. Contact can also be indirect (letters and telephone calls), supervised, direct unsupervised or staying (overnight) contact, and the court will decide on what is the most appropriate depending on the full facts of your case.
The court are able to order that you take another drugs test, even though you have had one already, if they feel that this is necessary.
The mother is also able to move anywhere that she wishes within the United Kingdom and does not require your consent for this, and it is extremely unlikely that you could do anything to prevent this.
With regards to you gaining full residence in the future, this is quite unlikely as your child is settled living with the mother and the court would require serious reasons to change this.
We hope that this information is useful to you, should you require any further advice please contact our Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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