[Solved] What do i need to do?

Do you want to save your marriage or have you given up ?

From the language you are using here it sounds as if you’ve thrown in the towel.

If you want to try and save it, read this, I’m sure it will help in some way:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mans-Guide-Women-Scientifically-Secrets/dp/1511392959

If it’s urgent, get it as an audiobook and start straight away. Best of luck.

Or if reading a book is too big a hurdle, try this talk from the author and see if you think it’s worth it:

https://youtu.be/AKTyPgwfPgg

I have just watched that video. Thanks. It is really really good. I have read and looked at a lot of stuff since this started. I imagine we all do. This is one of the best if not THE best. Recommended. It turns out my wife and I had a very good relationship. I always knew it but surprised to see it so confirmed. The trouble is she is now so angry (and was always extremely defensive in an argument - it was her only unreasonable characteristic except tending to take it for granted that she knew best for our children) that she remembers it as something totally different. I wish somebody could explain how to get through to our wives when they're in the sort of hard-as-nails self-righteous vindictive state of mind that seems par for the course in this situation.

You and I are on a different boat staggered, if I'm honest I don't think there's a way back, the only way is forward. There is the one off case you hear about where a separating couple move forward in opposite directions and eventually meet again, but don't hold your breath for that, it's not going to happen. I still find this information useful, not to save the relationship with my child's mother, that's beyond repair, but to make the next one work.

The original poster though seems to potentially be in a position where he may still be able to turn things around and that may be beneficial for all involved. Certainly very difficult to do, but worth a shot.

Yes - I can't see any option but to agree with you but my own situation remains kind of unclear. We've been separated 8 months and while I can't the logic or justice in the split I am not sure I could go back even if she wanted to - at least not as things were. There are too many things I want to do now that I couldn't and - to be honest - I have been pi$$ed upon so much I don't think I can forgive. Two months ago I said that we need to start talking or start divorcing and she announced she had already started proceedings a few days earlier but I have yet to hear anything from her solicitor or the courts. The big thing about her attitude that's really hurting me is the kids are following her lead. She says she isn't influencing them against me but it's hard to believe. It's quite amazing how the most reasonable and decent person can turn half crazy and vindictive in this situation but it seems to be usual.