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What can i do about...
 
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[Solved] What can i do about this

 
(@Onlyafterdark)
Active Member Registered

Hello everyone, im 2 years separated always had a good routine with my kids after the split. Ive delt with a partner who ive come to realise had bpd. God help us !
Anyway il be brief, i keep getting awkwardness, this wknd for example my kids should ave gone back at 12-1pm sat instead she spoke to my son and told him she wasnt coming home till 7pm i had pre booked tickets for a show and hotel with my new partner seeing she didnt turn up i lost the lot. Its now affecting things with my Gf ive done mediation waste of time she agrees and changes things whenever she wants. Before anyone suggest court i simply cannot afford it as im running a house my incomings 1400 per mnth outgoing nearly the lot i have no life what can i do plzhelp cause at present i feel like throwing myself off a bridge

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Topic starter Posted : 12/10/2015 3:31 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

This is a difficult situation to resolve and I don't really know what to suggest, you can't make her be there on time and if she calls when you have the kids she knows you won't just leave them on their own.

You need to talk to her and explain that you often make plans that fit around pick up and drop off times, that because she was late it has cost you money which you can't afford and ask her to reimburse the amount (if you have a private arrangement to pay maintenance deduct it from the amount). Tell her that it is unacceptable and that she must adhere to the specified times and ask her to arrange for someone to be at drop off if she can't make it. And that you want confirmation of these arrangements before the next contact.

It's all a bit bluff and bluster, you could tell her that you will take it to court if she doesn't start taking responsibility for this... She doesn't know that you aren't in a position to do that and to be honest, there's not much a court could do about her being late anyway.

I'll move this thread over to the Legal Eagle section, you should get more replies there. 🙂

Sorry I can't be more helpful, best of luck with it.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12/10/2015 4:06 pm
(@Onlyafterdark)
Active Member Registered

No way will this woman deduct money for me, ive threatened the court action but cant afford it . Like my partner says she can and will do this to me all the time now even tho i stick to days times as routine. Hows this possible i cant just dump my kids so she can abuse the routine whenever she feels free and i have to accept this. Am i to never book anything or have a life its not right

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 12/10/2015 5:59 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

...it's not good I know, all I can suggest is to book things for the times when you don't have contact, it would be unfair to the children to stop seeing them because of her failings., but it must feel like she has you over a barrel.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12/10/2015 6:07 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,
.
As said you are stuck between a rock and a hard place with this as there isn't much a court can do to ensure she will be home at the drop off time, you ca go through court for as little as £240-250, as you can represent yourself through court and don't need to pay for solicitors fees, so there is that option.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 13/10/2015 4:26 pm
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