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Hi all, went to see my children today 3 and half hour drive. took my 3week old daughter to meet them . but when I got there they would not come out the door. they acted like strangers to me .
they knew about there new sister as talked about it with them a lot in the past. my daughter was very excited about it .
in the past 6 month it has gone from a fantastic relationship with them ,to not wanting to stay over at my place and now not wanting to see me at all.
if I had done anything wrong or was nasty towards them could understand but have never been that way.
I have posted previously about my ex controlling them but this is to much.
I am at a loss at what to do next . do have mediation in few weeks time and planning to go to court for contact but not sure this will change anything???
HELP!!!!!!!!
Hi lugo,
It does seem a bit odd. There could be a number of reasons, the first thing that is likely to jump into anyones head is that maybe your ex may have said that you won't have time for your children now you have a young daughter. Its the most logical answer.
What level of Contact are you getting at the moment?
I'm always someone who argues against mediation unless it is Court ordered, as otherwise you have no real come back, the Contract isn't binding. There is a high likelihood that the law will be changed soon in that mediation will need to have been attempted before an application is heard at Court.
used to see them for 4-5 days every school hols so every 6-8 weeks.
but since last august they said they don't want to stay. about the same time my ex wanted to change there surname to hers but I refused.
really don't know what to do about it. ex said its up to them if they want to come with me and wont force them or it seems encourage!!!
I wouldn't force them either , seems ive lost them!!!
however much it feels you may have lost them, whatever you do, don't abandon them. Keep in touch in whatever way you can - eventually they will realise that you want to see them, and they will see past the influence of their mother and come back to you when they are ready.
Yes, that's understandable, but if you keep in contact you will feel much better about it later on. Try keeping a video diary to show them later on on life. Also, you could write them letters (bearing in mind your ex will see them), and keep copies so you can show them to your children later on in life if they weren't passed on to them. It's all about letting them know that they were always in your thoughts and that you didn't want to miss out seeing them.
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