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my wife has been talking to a guy in america for 2 years, i found this out and she told me it was a bit of fun and it had stopped.
my eldest daughter then finds a mobile phone 8 months ago, and they were still talking to each other. again i confronted her, she said sorry and it had stopped.
then on monday i wake up, she has gone and left me a note saying that she was tired and needed to see her mother in wales. i called her mum and she knew nothing. 18 hours later i still have heard nothing so get the police involved. i then find out that she is in the states.
she had gone to see the guy. i knew his name and where he lives. googled him and he has been arrested so many times for selling heroin.
i have heard nothing from her and neither have my children. the police told me that her flight back is tomorrow.
i have spoken to my 14 and 16 yr old and they are staying here with me but i am worried that she will come home get her bits, and take my our 5 yr old back to wales.
what can i do?
Hi, I would be worried for her safety, have you checked the bank account. She obviously didn’t want you to know so it does not sound like she’s intending to leave you. I bet she comes back very embarrassed, she’s let a player fool her and Im sure when she realises she’s been duped she will feel very silly indeed. The problem is can you forgive her.
She can take the child but so can you; you both have equal rights, im presuming you’re on the birth certificate. I wouldnt let her take your daughter
Hi there,
This is awful for you and your kids. If she returns tomorrow, do you know what you are going to do? You dont have control over her, but you do have control over what happens to your children. I think it would be advisable to get a residence order in place for your childrten, in particular the youngest. You can also apply for a prohibited steps order at the same time. This would prevent her from taking them out of the country.
If you are unemployed or on a low income you will be eligible for legal aid, if not then the fee to apply to court would be £200. You can take it to court as a matter of urgency, this is called an emergency prohibited steps order and when you submit the form to court you would make them aware that you need it to be as an emergency and you should get to go before the court within 24/48hrs.
my problem is that i am so in love with my wife, she is both my rock and my best friend.
i hope that when she returns we can sit down and talk properly.
i know that i will need to give her some time and that worries me with regards to my youngest.
i think i will speak to someone tomorrow am and find out about the court9just incase)
not sure what else i can do.
she is flying back tomorrow.
i know what she has done is completly wrong but i have spent half my life with her.
so my heart is telling me to ry and give her time, but my head says kick her out get the residence order and let her and the drug dealer enjoy themselves?
I wouldn't necessarily go so far as to change the locks, but I would make sure that your bank accounts are secure and that there's nothing she can land you in financially - she may not like it, but she should certainly understand why you feel it is necessary to do so.
Since you want to make the marriage work, have you considered using Relate? - We can ask our expert from Relate to advise on here if you wish.
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