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Hi,
A few months back I found out I was a Dad, I didn't find out until my child had been born for 4 months, I have had no say in the name and I am not on the birth certificate. Every time I talk about the birth certificate I am told by the mother she will look in to it but nothing seems to happen. I have offered to pay half for everything from the start but was refused.
I have access but it is minimal and very difficult, I probably average 5-6 hours a week, I have asked the mother to tell me days and times and I will be there, this still proves difficult I'll find out a day or two before and this makes planning the week very difficult for myself and my family. I was told that I would be able to have my child over night to stay however because she is being breast fed this keeps getting denied? I have the bottles the mother advised me to get and she always feeds well when she is with me.
I always arrive 5 to 10 minutes early to pick up my child but seem to be left waiting 10 minutes at least after the organised time this has been up to 30 minutes on numerous occasions and the reasons aren't always great.
I really wanted to get things in place out side of the courts but I just don;t see things improving, I just want to be a Dad to my child and do the best I can for my child. I just don't know where to turn now.
Any help would be much appreciated,
TheDaddy
Hey mate and welcome to the forum.
First and foremost don't fret this can and will be sorted out and you'll end up spending real quality time with your child trust me it just takes a little time and patience.
Your story sounds like 99% of Dads on her and who I have met exactly the same happened to me it's awful living under the mothers every wish you some how are made out to be an inferior parent and it's not on.
I suspect your ex may be suffering some post natal depression some women go nuts before during and after pregnancy.
There is no reasoning with them so you have to tread carefully because they hold all the cards but that doesn't last forever.
It does sound daunting but courts is your best bet it is not as hard as you think I've done it so anyone can you can self represent and you dont need an expensive solicitor but you have to take one step at a time.
Before you make any application to a court it is mandatory to attend mediation to see if you can come to an agreement for the co-parenting of your child.
So your first step would be to find a local mediation service and get them to invite her down for a session and see how that goes.
In the meantime you're seeing your child albeit only a few hours a week try and build on that, try not to pressure your ex and make sure theres no bad communication between yourselves.
All the best
Slim π
Hi Slim,
Thanks so much for your message, you probably already know how much of a weight it is off my shoulders just to have someone to talk to that has been through the same. Thanks so much for taking your time to reply to my post. I really do appreciate it. How are things going your end? Hope you are all good.
TheDaddy
What do you recommend in regards to the birth certificate?
No worries mate anytime this is what this site is for it's a god send really π
Don't worry about not being on the birth certificate you can apply for parental responsibility and be put on it when you make the application to court, in the real world being on the BC means nothing it does not give you the right to access to see your child it just means you have a say in schooling, religion and health matters of the child like I said worry about that later.
All the best
Slim π
Thanks so much π it is a God send, you are right!
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