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I've recently separated from my partner, moving out of the home last week. We have an 8 year old son but we're not married. I pay all the bills: mortgage, council tax, water, gas, electric, car insurance, gym membership, tv, broadband, phone, my ex-partner's mobile phone. In addition to that I pay quite a lot of money into my partner's account every month (more than she actually needs).
This has left me struggling financially and unable to afford my living costs. My ex-partner is being difficult about agreeing the financial terms of our relationship, primarily the sale of the house. This is despite me offering a generous settlement, beyond (I'm told by a lawyer, who I can't afford to engage any further) what she would actually be entitled to if it went to court.
She doesn't work so I will obviously continue to pay the mortgage, as I intend to ensure my son still has a roof over his head, but am I still obliged to pay all of the other bills and monthly payment to her if I'm not there?
Any help, advice, guidance on this would be much appreciated as this is causing me a great deal of stress.
Thanks
Hi James
Is the mortgage in joint names?
Aside from the mortgage you are liable for child maintenance and any loans/hire purchase that is in your name/joint names.
All of the bills, her car insurance, gym membership! etc., are not your responsibility.... This would be her responsibility and she would need to claim benefits if she doesn't work.
If you google the CSA calculator and input your details you will get an amount that you will be liable to pay for child maintenance. If you are paying any debts and possibly the mortgage you may get a reduction on this amount.
If you take a look at the stickys at he top of the child maintenance section you will find one called "how does the CSA calculate payments" this will link to a CSA leaflet that explains things in more depth and you might find it useful.
Women do sometimes use contact with the child as leverage to get more money, threatening to withhold contact if payments aren't made.... Contact and maintenance are two completely separate issues and one should not have any bearing on the other. This may happen though in which case you would need to go to mediation and then if that failed, court for a contact order. It's always better to try and avoid this though as it can create more stress and acrimony between separated parents.
Not entirely true.
To be precise, the mortgage has insurances buildings and life attached to it, possibly health insurance and payment insurance too so you may went to keep those paid up and ongoing for your own safety. Buildings insurance is mandatory from the lender.
...James didnt mention home insurance and therefore I didn't mention it either!....In fact I said mortgage aside! ...her car insurance I mentioned though.
I had a mortgage but I didnt have to have life insurance attached, I think that might be an endowment mortgage. I also don't think health and payment insurance are mandatory either....however I'm no financial expert!
I do agree that it's sensible to insure an investment though.
Thank you NJ!! That's extremely helpful.
The house ownership is in joint names, but I've paid every mortgage payment during the 13 years we've had them, whether she's worked or not.
I'll be getting onto this straight away.
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