[Solved] What are my chances in court?

Hi there

I think the findings of the MARAC are more to do with your convictions for violence and domestic violence and weapons, the drugs conviction would also be a factor.

CAFCASS will have access to your police records and any Social Services involvement, to be honest I think your going to find it an uphill struggle to get contact at your Mums at all. In fact you may struggle to get supervised contact at a contact centre.

I should think they will want a drugs test before any contact of any kind is given. They're not stupid and if you turn up without a hair on your body they will draw their own conclusions.

You said you wanted honesty, I think the odds are quite heavily stacked against you. If your mum has a criminal record too then you can rule out contact at her house too....this is just my opinion though .

I also beat up my exs dad in a restaurant last year and broke his ribs. My solisitor thinks I have a chance of getting contact will they make a descision on the first hearing? My ex did stay with me for a while after n did let me see my son at a cafe with her for a short while then she stopped it altogether Maybe Social services told her not to let my boy see me. I didn't change any nappies or things like that but my mum would do it for me at my house.

To be honest, I think that you are are going to have a difficult time convincing any judge of allowing you any form of unsupervised contact at all if your ex opposes. And I say this purely based on the things you have told us concerning violence, drugs e.t.c.

I'm squeaky clean yet 7 months into proceedings I'm still battling for unsupervised contact because the ex is so determined to control everything. The point being it's hard enough for someone who has no violent past to get the contact they want.

Having said that, everyone makes mistakes. I think if you are serious about having contact with your child, the courts are going to want to see evidence that you have cleaned up your act, or are going the right way about doing it. Their paramount concern is the welfare of the child, and want to minimise any risk.

So I think in the short term, if handled right, your application could see you getting supervised contact in a contact centre, once a week perhaps, with someone taking notes and observing. That may be reported back to Cafcass or the court.

I think if you are speaking to Cafcass shortly, you have to stress that you acknowledge you have made mistakes in the past that you aren't proud of, and want to put things right and clean your act up. They aren't stupid though, so you have to be genuine about it. If they think you are a troublemaker, or trying to deceive them, they will recommend your involvement minimised. Seriously, and I only say this because you need to hear it, I'm not judging you or criticising you bear in mind, I'm saying this to help you; if you want to be involved in your kids life, leave all the negative stuff behind you from your past and focus on your child. I'm sure you can be a good dad, but you need to work at it and prove to the courts that is the case.

I think the fact you are here shows you know what it is going to take to be the dad you want to be

Don't forget we are all here to listen, and support, so you aren't alone in your quest. Keep us updated on how your talk with CAFCASS goes.

I wish you well, and hope an arrangement can be worked out for your child that suits them long term.

Simon.

I'd say stop everything now, seek all the help you can for your aggressive actions and drug abuse, get your head straight before you do anything first and foremost for your own well being then you can apply to see your child and it will go in your favour that you have tried to address your problems, I'm guilty of a few of them things you've said you've done but at the end of the day you've got to man up face the music and sort your head out for the sake of your child.

Will CAFCASS see me as a risk? I think my ex is going to say that if I want contact she has to be there. Why is it a problem that my mum supervises me she can do all the nappies and stuff because I dont know how or will they think because shes called police on me before that she cant keep my kid safe? why is my ex going to a support group for victims of domestic violence when I only got arrested for spitting in her face? is she just doing it to use in court? she actually used the fact that our house had vermin in it to leave me was she really scared?
Any ideas what will happen at the first hearing? My ex dont drink or take drugs and was only arrested as a young teenager maybe at 14 4 writing on a bus stop n I think she shoplifted once at around the same age.

Do you have any insight into the impact of your actions on your ex and child? Spitting in her face is domestic violence, vermin in the house is detrimental to the health of your child and if you don't know how to change a nappy and look after your child practically then I would question your capability to care for your child appropriately....if I think this then I'm sure the judge will too.

I'm pretty sure CAFCASS will recognise the serious risks you are likely to pose and it wouldn't surprise me if they recommend no contact until further reports are sought. This would include drug testing, social services and police reports.

I think the advice given by Simon and Slimothy is good advice and you should follow it. Apart from shaving all your hair to avoid detection what else have you done to show that you are willing to change? Perhaps you could enrol on a parenting course and speak to your GP about attending an anger management course too...this will show the authorities that you are aware of the problems and are trying to do something to address them.

Are you working? If not then it might be a good idea to get a job too to show you want to turn things around and provide for your child.

Nin,

With anyone looking for contact with their child, Cafcass will be looking at a range of factors to assess the risk to a child. It's largely irrelevant what your ex did at 14 yrs old. It's about what you have done, and what you plan to do about it going forward for the benefit of your child.

For yourself, they are going to see, as you have pointed out that you have made mistakes in your past that may have led to your current situation. Unfortunately spitting in someones face, in any walk of life, is going to be seen as a violent act. There is no getting around that. It's your attitude going forward that is important.

Initially a with me, you will have a section 2 report done which will show the safeguarding issues that exist. In your case, will flag up all the issues you have raised. So in that case if you do not find the judge offering interim contact, please don't get angry. I know you will be upset but keep cool and know that you have to be in this for the long term.

After the s2 report, you may find you have a section 7 report done, or perhaps something more in depth. Here they will be looking at the situation in more depth, enhanced police checks, social services checks e.t.c. Also they would want to see you with your child. Now the observed visits are very specific to determine if you can show you can care for a young child - and they will be making notes all the time. They want to see you can anticipate a childs needs, perform basic parenting tasks, are aware of a childs safety, and what your bond with your child is like.

I strongly urge you to learn things like how to change a nappy. If you can't do it now, it will be obvious when you are observed with your child.

Like NJ says, start your research now, learn how to perform these basic skills. It will benefit you and your child so much in the near future. You can't rely on your mum to parent for you.

When you speak to CAFCASS you have to make it clear to them you are leaving your past behind you and doing absolutely everything you can to get back on track for your child.

Simon

Mate, I've got no criminal record, never been involved with the Police, never harmed my ex or done anything towards the children and I got refused any sort of contact with my Girls at the directions hearing, I did smoke weed for 18 years but gave it up for the sake of seeing my Girls and the courts want to see proof of that with a drug test and a letter from my doctor.

To be honest I can't see you getting any sort of contact with the way you've acted in the past and you will have to really change your attitude, You're a Father now and you've got to start acting like one, You're going to have to stop getting in trouble, give up the drugs or drink, get yourself on a parenting course and actually decide if you want to be a dad and not just out to give your ex anymore grief.

Your child is going to need a Father and you're going to have to step up to the plate mate.

I agree with Slimothy.

Without judging you I don't have a sense that you regret any of your actions and this will be an important aspect of your case if you are serious about gaining contact with your child. Due to the complexities your past poses it is likely to be a long, slow process through court and you will need to show that your intention is to be a good father who wishes to put your past behind you....your actions will determine what the outcome is.

Will CAFCASS think im lying if I tell them I am sorry for the way I've behaved in the past because on the social services report it says when I was questioned about my violence I always said it was the other persons fault for provoking me in some way?