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Hi,
I'm new to this forum & have a problem regarding weekend access for my children.
I currently live approx 2 hours away from my children & pick them up on a Friday every other weekend and return them on Sunday.
We went to mediation last year to agree holidays etc. and we also agreed during the session that on every other occasion I have the children she would come and pick them up on the Sunday.
She has now said she will not do that & if I want to see the children it is up to me to pick them up & drop them off each & every time.
The whole purpose of mediation was to come up with an agreement that both parties could stick to.
I wrote to her explaining that if she wanted to change the agreement we should have returned to mediation so we could come up with another agreement that suits both parties.
She has replied (via solicitor) saying she will not come and pick them up.
What should I do next? as it appears that she can vary any agreement to suit her but I must adhere to it.
Hi There,
welcome to the forum.
I'm gueesing the agreement through mediation was never written into a legal agreement and stayed as a "without predudice" agreement?
If so then either of you could change your minds about what was agreed at any time, without any reprecussions, It's a shame she has done this after you managed to make an agreement.
If she is unwilling to discuss in mediation again then I guess court would be the only real option, though I'm not sure that the judge would be able to rule that she drive to collect them at the end of the weekend, as she isn't stopping contact just wanting to change how the contact happens.
Darren
Hi Darren,
Many thanks for that.
Yes you are correct in that the mediation agreement was made in good faith and not converted to a legal document.
It seems, therefore, that she is able to change her mind at any point.
I do know from experience, that when I have wanted to vary even the slightest thing the response has been - "No you agreed in mediation etc etc." and she wouldn't budge.
From your response ref. what a judge might say, it seems I may be on a loser going down that route also? and may just have to live with the fact that I will have to do all the journeys.
It's hard to say what any judge would rule, the fact that it had been agreed and had been working could go in your favour, however if your ex can give good enough rasons for not making the journy then she may be able to convince the judge not to make an order in your favour.
I think it would be dow n to the judge on the day and the reasons she gives for not being able to make the journey.
This is just my oppinion though i'm not in the legal proffesion (I've just been through the court/mediation proccess)
I know that I went to court for a fixed order as when my ex and I made an agreement in mediation she would change it when she felt like it and there was nothing I could do, and likewise If I did anything that wasn't agreed in mediation I would have trouble on my hands.
I would try to arrange mediation again to see if you can resolve things before you look to court, I know you say she has sent letters through her solicitor so maybe send one back (you don't meed it written by a solicitor) stating you would like to discuss this further in mediation as an agreement had been made and you would like to look at maybe a compromise, even if you could get an agreement to meet half way it would be better than dragging it through court. If you can get an agreement it can be made lagally binding by a solicitor.
Darren
Can I ask how you've calculated your maintenance payments?
If it's based on the CSA formula, then you can deduct reasonable travel expenses over £15 per week (the CSA expect you to pay the first £15) involved in contact from your takehome pay before you then calculate the percentage - it's not going to be a massive reduction in maintenance, but it may be something towards your additional expenses, though it is still a pain in terms of time when she isn't sticking to the agreement.
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