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I am trying to plan my wedding to my fiance. Not for a year or so but am really unsure about a few things.
I have my kids every Wed after school overnight and every weekend Sat afternoon to Sunday 6pm. Also have them Wed in school holidays.
This is by virtue of contact order.
For our wedding I obviously want the children there so would want them the night before.
For our honeymoon, it would mean missing a day of contact in order to get 5-6 nights away.
Mum is very very hostile and trying to arrange this with her isn't an option.
What can I do?
Hi
Sorry I'm a bit confused. I take it you mean that the mother won't allow a Friday overnight stay to accommodate a Saturday wedding?
That request in addition to missing a day of contact to attend your honeymoon, are both perfectly reasonable requests.
If you can't agree with the mother, you can try mediation http://www.nfm.org.uk/ and if that doesn't work, you can apply to the court for a Specific Issue Order. Attempting mediation first is mandatory. Mediation sign-offs only last for 4 months though.
As the wedding is a year off, you can give the mother plenty of notice - I would advise doing this in writing sooner, rather than later. If she is still refusing this request closer to the time - you can try mediation and court.
I would definitely get this sorted out now - if you leave it until nearer the time, your ex might "accidentally" book a holiday including your children, which might make it more difficult to argue against her.
We would want the children the Tuesday night, for a Wednesday wedding, during summer.
We'd then want to miss the mid week contact the following week to go on honeymoon.
Do we write to her or her solicitor?
If she refuses and it goes to court is a judge likely to agree?
There's no mediation here as we are in N Ireland.
My fear is the minute I tell her the date of the wedding she will book something.
If that's a serious concern, as there s no requirement to mediate first, you can go straight in with a Specific Issue application, if that's possible in NI...I'm not sure if your laws differ to those in England and Wales.
I would think a judge would be sympathetic to you and your children's right to attend on your special day.
Alternatively, if you informed her via a solicitors letter, you could omit the actual date, but state that it is in the summer holidays and what you would require as far as changes to the order. Also stating that if agreement can't be reached you will apply to court to resolve it, as it is the children's right to share this special day with you as part of your family.
Without a date she wouldn't be able to make a booking to thwart their attendance...you could state that if she disagrees and tries to book a holiday to coincide with your date, to avoid their attendance, the court may take a very dim view of that.
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