[Solved] Wanting full custody , stopping my ex from moving

Earlier this year I split up with my girlfriend of 22 years and moved out leaving my 4 kids. It was her decision to split as she wanted to pursue a relationship with her ex from 22 years before the fact he didn't want her didn't make her want to try and work things out with me.

Fair enough it hurt a lot and it hurt having to leave my kids with her but since she wanted to end things I thought it best to leave them there with her since I had nowhere to live at the time. Eventually I found somewhere to live nearby do I could have access to the kids regularly also it meant the ex didnt have to give up her job as I could get there when she worked early and get the kids ready for school.

Anyways she went on to meet somebody new as was bound to happen. I have since found out this guy has a borderline personality disorder , is a former drug addict and is serving a life sentence for a violent crime he committed but was released after 22 years for good behaviour. This was last year so he's been seeing my ex for half the time he has been out.

Now I don't know what the crime he committed was as he has to disclose it to me himself and the social.worker working the case hasn't arranged any mediation between me and him.yer because I am not comfortable with the idea of him being constantly around my children from.what I know already about him. Social services may agree as they have not cleared him to be allowed to meet my children yet. Well my two young children of 9 and 7 anyway my two adult children are free to.

My ex has to go on some course first about how to deal with this new guys behaviours and this was supposed to be sorted before September and as far as I am aware this has not begun yet. But then I am.told very little about what is going on. The social Worker I spoke to told me my ex was at medium risk which my ex disputes and says she is at low risk according to the new guys parole officer and social workers but none of them have bothered to contact me to verify this.

I have my concerns obviously as apart from what little I know about this guy my ex has been neglectful towards the kids in my view. The house is a mess although this week it has looked somewhat tidy. My oldest daughter who still lives there tells me that mum is just constantly on her phone texting the new guy and just ignores the kids. Not unusual sadly as a lot of parents do this but it worries me as being talkative a lot is a sign of drug use and this new guy is an addict and he never stops texting or on a night he will ring her at 8 when the younger kids go to bed and she will still be talking to him at home midnight. Now they could be getting along really well and I could be coloured by his past but to me it's a sign he's still doing drugs. He also will message her first thing in a morning before she goes to work so he is barely sleeping (another sign) I have raised these concerns with her but was dismissed by her as she feels he is changed from what he was back.then a judgement she made 5 minutes after meeting him as he disclosed his crime to her on their first meeting and she said " I couldn't believe it when he told me because that's not the man I knew"

I feel I have gone off subject here but I have many concerns about this new man because there is also my oldest son to consider he is autistic and has been violent in the past and I am not sure how any man would deal with him let alone a man with a past like this current guy.

I have been worried about this and have told my ex that I don't feel comfortable with this new guy being around my kids on a consistent basis and if it got the point where she was thinking of moving him.in I would want the younger kids living with me. She said she won't allow that to happen and she wouldn't let them go. So I can see it getting bitter later on because we obviously disagree on what is best for the kids here.

Then today we went to our sons school for an assessment on him and it seems that full time respite is probably the best option for him and we are looking at some places a distance away from us (about an hours drive) Well i later heard her on the phone talking to the new guy about today's meeting and she was talking about moving away with the kids to be nearer our sons school but wasn't sure how I would feel about all my kids living in a separate city from me.

Now I feel this is a big thing because from the sounds of it this guy would also be living with them. I can't drive so I would be unable to see my kids on a regular basis. She can drive and our sons respite isn't that far away so I feel she is being unreasonable in planning to take them away for that reason.

My question is what I should or can I do to help me get full custody or at the very least stop her moving away with my kids?