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Hi we are in such a desperate situation, I really hope that someone can help us.
I am writting this on behalf of my brother who is so distraught that I said that I would help him by gathering as much information as possible. My brother started seeing and took in a woman and her 6 year child in to his home and life after she split up with her husband. For four years he railsed the child and finaincally supported the woman who couldn't work because she was to sick too. ABOUT TWO YEARS (18 months) AGO THEY HAD A CHILD OF THEIR OWN. Making us all very happy especailly my brother who became a father and our parents who became grandparents for the first time. We all adored my brothers child. After almost two years of being the most loving and wonderful father my brothers girlfriend decided to leave him to go back to her ex husband... She then announced to my brother that the child that he has raised as his own may not actually be my brothers and instead could be her ex husbands or sombody elses because she admitted sleeping around with other people. She then went for full custodardy of the child and started a relationship back with ther ex husband. My brother obvioulsy went for full custordy of the child as well. On the side there are several other factors that arised including theft and mental illness on the mothers part that we questioned her rights to full custordady of the child. For the last 8 weeks my brother and the rest of the family have looked after the child while waiting on the verdict. Social services got involved and demanded a DNA test / paterntity test. The results were read in court today and it seems devastatingly that my brother is not the biological father of the child and even though his name is on the birth certificate he no longer has any rights to ever see his son again unless the mother allows it , which she says out of spite she will not !!!! WHAT CAN WE DO !! This is a massive shock to us that we are not biologically related to the child , we love him so much and my brother is still his Dad and he is his world.... Is there anything we can do !! ! As it stands at this moment we do not know who the biological father of the child is as no one In the courts or social services will tell us or know... Until that happens is my brother not the legal father ( his name is on the birth certificate )and does he not have visiting right... Can we ever see the child again ??????? !!! Please please help
This is such a heart wrenching situation and my heart goes out to all of you.
Your brother has been this little boys daddy in every sense of the word since he was born...and a father to the little girl too, for many years. I cant imagine that this will not be taken into consideration...but thats just my opinion. I havent had any experience at all of this, but I will do some searching for you and see what I can find out too. In the meantime I'm sure there will be other offers of help and advice from the guys on here very soon so hang on in there...
Did the court come to any kind of conclusion today, and how did the judge leave it?
Hi again,
I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but I'm getting the impression that your brother doesnt have any rights. Its all about whats best for the child....the courts opinion would be that the child should be made aware of parternity, and that this should be what is worked towards as quickly as possible. As the little boy is only 2 yrs old, I would think that the court would consider that he is young enough to be seperated from your brother and introduced to his paternal father as soon as possible, and as the mother is back in a relationship with the alledged father, this could be with immediate effect....What a dreadful situation.
I would suggest your brother gets some legal advice ASAP, as there could be a way to continue to play a part in this little boys life, although I would think this would have to be with the mothers agreement. Its hard enough for paternal fathers to win the right to see their children once they have left the family home, so a situation like this is even harder.
In family law the feelings of the Parents are not taken into account, its all about what is in the best interests of the child... always. The devastation visited upon your brother, would not be a consideration, and whilst they may have sympathy for his predicament they wouldnt see it as having anything to do with the decisions that they make concerning residency.
The fact that you feel there are issues surrounding the suitability of the mother, could be broached with Social Services, but again I doubt they would feel it is enough to remove the children from her care. It takes a lot for Social Services to even consider this course of action.
I am so sorry to have to be the bearer of such bad news, and I truly hope that you find I am completely wrong....I shall keep looking and perhaps CCLC will drop by and give you their expert opinion, as they are versed in the legalities of all things children.
Hi
It is possible to get PR when you aren't the parent, and as your brother already has it, it's quite likely this won't be removed. I believe it's also possible to have a contact order even if you aren't the biological parent in certain circumstances, and I would say that this could come under that.
I will ask the CCLC to drop by with advice on this, so keep checking back.
Just to pick up.
Your brother can lose PR for the child. When a court DNA test is ordered and it comes back negative, the mother can then apply to reregister the birth certificate and by sending in the DNA results and a signed declaration (witnessed) by a solicitor, your name can be removed from the birth certificate and then as a result you lose PR.
The only way then to get PR back is to apply for a residence or shared residence order.
With regards to contact with the child. You can request leave of the court to apply for a contact order to have contact with the child. The court will then make a decision on this. The difficulties you will have if is both the biological mother & father are opposed to this contact.
Also given the childs age, I could see arguements for the child not really knowing and easily being able to forget, and that it is more important that the child "knows" and has priority with the biological father..
I have been through this with the courts, and my child was older, however I have to say whilst they were sympathetic to my plight, they placed more importance on the child knowing its heritage.
Sorry
Dear Buzz
Due to the complexities of your situation, we would be grateful if you would contact us to discuss your matter in more detail.
You can contact us via our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com and is available Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm.
Alternatively you can contact our freephone advice line on 0808 8020 008 which is available Monday to Friday 8am-8pm.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE
As soon as the DNA test was read out. The descion was for the baby to go to the mother. 45 min social services were at the house to give the child over to his mother. They said that the only way for him to see her is if she decides she wants to. She only really wants money form us and we suspect she will use her child to blackmail us to see him. Its a terrible situation.
Thank you so much for your help. The strange thing is that the ex husband doesn't think he is the father ( he also looks noithing like him and the mothere has since contacted my brother telling him that he is the father even theough the DNA test says he isnt ! However she lies all the time to get waht she wants. Social services supposidly told her before all this cam out that if Damian wasn't the father then they could get her a three bedroom house. I truly believe that this motivated the whole thing.
Thank you for your help
Yeah but the strange thing is is that the ex husband hasn't been asked for a paternity test at all or anyone else to our knowledge. Social services have also told us of their doubts about her to raise the child but gave her the child anyway because of the DNA test.... To make things worse the lady in question is originaly from Thailand and she has had two other children with different partners that as children around this age were both taken to Thailand away from their parents and from their family in the UK to be raised by their grandmother. She is even admited that she may do this and still recieve benefits in the UK.....
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