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Hi,
I had court last week and my ex failed to turn up. During the hearing it was agreed by Cafcass, the courts and I that my aunt (who is CRB checked and works with children) be present during my visits with my daughter (11 months old) to provide a witness statement on how the visits go (my relationship with my daughter). However as my ex wasn’t present the courts said that they cannot amend the contact order this time, but they have agreed to my aunt being present at visits.
I emailed my ex on request from the court notifying her of my aunts’ presence. I received a reply stating that ‘as ex wasn’t present for hearing, she does not agree to this and visitation should take place as stated in the contact order’. (She has ignored contact order multiple times). I did not receive this email until 9:45am on Saturday with my visit due to take place at 10am at agreed play centre.
My aunt and I are waiting inside when ex’s dad turns up, as he enters he notices my aunt and I then proceeds to turn and head for the exit. As he does this he says ‘silly boy’ which was aimed at me. A few minutes pass and my ex walks in (dad behind her) and points her finger in my face and says ‘There will be no visitation today; you will be receiving an email shortly’. After this they all leave (ex, Ex’s mum & dad).
The email is a rehash of before ‘as ex was not present to agree my aunt being present, there will be no contact unless it is as stated in the contact order’.
I have visitation with my daughter tomorrow and I am unsure how to proceed. I really want to see my daughter (no contact for over a month) but I do not feel comfortable being around my ex due to her false allegations of assault. Also her dad has threatened my before with a crowbar, so I do not want to have to deal with him too. My ex has stated that if anybody else is present, no contact will be taking place.
Should I turn up tomorrow with or without my aunt? I will be assessed by Cafcass sometime within 6 weeks at a contact centre, but as I haven’t seen my Daughter in over a month I need to rebuild my relationship with her before that. I feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi there,
Something you could do is to get a friend who also has children to come along, they don't need to sit with you or make contact at all, but they could be a witness if anything happened, would be better if your ex didn't know the person as then wouldn't recognise them.
If you can't find anyone, I would go alone, but don't engage in any conversation with the ex or her family if they are there, if anything were to happen you would be in a public place you should be able to get some witnesses.
GTTS
Others will help with advice here………….i for one having been on the receiving end of false allegations would say do not be there on your own without a way of proving yourself if she kicks off or later claims you’ve been abusive/violent etc…
I voice recorded all “one on one” interactions prior to the allegations starting as I was very worried back at the time.
Attend all contacts but have someone with you (Aunty) or as specified by the courts do not – not turn up! As that will could against you too.
If she is being unreasonable then she will have to explain to the courts why she breaks their orders. Just because she wasn’t at the hearing doesn’t allow her to disobey a court order…..the courts warnings are clearly written on all notification of proceedings (hearings) I’ve been involved in they say if you do not turn up an order may be made in your absence and failure to adhere to the court order may find you in contempt of court!
Its not an easy road you’re on….but the courts do get wise to “contact deniers” and do not like their orders being broken, they can and will eventually put penalties in place but you will need to be prepared for long battles if she continues the way she has been.
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