[Solved] Very tricky situation

If you were to decide on legal action to get contact resumed the courts expect you to have both attended mediation first.
If she won’t attend mediation you still have to attend to then get a form sign by the mediators to show you tried first before court will accept an application for a contact order.
If you do go down that route be prepared for a battle and more rubbish to be thrown at you if she “doesn’t get her way” or she may realise the kids deserve a loving father in their life and play fair for the kids sake.

I can offer a little advice on the Harassing & Messages as I have been on the end of that one.

Ensure you keep a record of every message you exchange…..each message is a conversation and will go to show you’re simply replying.
If she’s being abusive or threatening to keep the kids away from you in these messages then that is good for you to use in a defence if you need to.
Do not respond to her if she’s being abusive or nasty etc… if you need to reply just ask how the kids are and leave it at that!
This show you are not rising to her bait….and are calm and controlled of yourself….she will be seen to be the irrational/unreasonable one.
If she elevates this and the police come out to talk to you refuse to accept any warning and have them look at your messages and have them record that the messages are not harassing in nature….my ex was very good at calling the police out to me for replying to her demands or threats with “I’ll see you in court” or “how is our son”.
On the couple of occasions I had to contact her by text (we were selling the house at the time and the estate agents couldn’t reach her) I did it in text…simply stuck to “please contact estate agents they want to arrange a viewing….how is *****?”
The police loved that one when they turned up to try and bully me in to accepting a verbal harassment warning and then had to run back to her and give her a warning for wasting police time! LOL having said that it made things more difficult for me as it got her back up even further and she got worse!

Keep everything between you and her civil…to the point and always in writing….makes for a better defence if she gets nasty and sees you as “challenging her word!”

Regards your steriod use...

I can see that being used against you regardless of it not being illegal. The will argue that it causes you depression and steroid rage.

On the other hand Im not sure how they will test you for this as I understand the tests are expensive and involve mass spectrometry.

There also could be the argument that you have high free testosterone levels in your blood anyway.

Tricky one....you may have to stop or try using or saying you use pro hormones???

Regards,

Dave

I agree with DaveR - cigarettes and alcohol are not illegal in this country, but it wouldn't stop their use being used to add weight to a case - it's a tricky area.

I feel your pain mate I'm not to sure about your steroid consumption but I know for a fact it will be used against you in court from your ex, cafcass and the judge, They are all so biased absolutely everything and anything will be used against you so be prepared if you do go down the court route.

You might have to give them for the time being but it sounds like once you've met that demand they'll be another not long after, I'm sort of pleased I'm going through the courts so I can get something solid in place as I was sick of putting up with my ex's [censored] just to see my girls.

My ex is a woman seriously scorned as I finished her because of her drinking and she's done everything in the book to hurt me I get that much harassment by text and phone calls I've changed my number 6 times this year already and she's the one who's reported me to the Police, Her other daughter is disabled and she calls me daddy has been used as a weapon against me to its shocking.

Maybe try and see if she's up for mediation and if she refuses then you might have to think about court but that is a decision you shouldn't take lightly as it's unreal stress but as I found out it may be your only option.

Regards

Slim 🙂

Thanks for all of the replies. Really good responses.
Like has been said, this is one demand. What about the next one?
I just can't bear the thought of not seeing my boys during the time it takes to fight in court.

The demands are unlikely to end. You just have to navigate them and choose our battles. Very annoying I know.

If your offered supervised contact take it, take all you can get.

In court ask for interim contact if you cannot sort this out in mediation.

Get mediation done asap and if there is no agreement then get it to court asap.

Check out the hair strand test and see if it covers steroids, I think that it might but havent checked yet. If your on serious steroid protocol then consider the types and the hair strand test. HGH and short ester testosterone may be something to consider along with very short hair.

Regards,

Dave

Sadly I know it's very difficult but I spent nearly 4 years doing everything my ex said giving in to her every demand if I did hesitate she would straight away use the children ...but enough was enough and court for some is the only way to try and lessen this demands and restrictions on your life,

now the first steps to making an applications is mediation I do hope that's all that is needed to resolve this issues with her,

it's all too common you get a new partner and they kick off ,

Yeah man I'd say give mediation a go first and see if your ex will let you see your children it's absolute torture not seeing my Girls it's been nearly 5 months now and it does not get any easier but I feel I can cope better now I'm actually making efforts to get contact through the courts.

It sounds to me you're not going to have any choice so I'd get the ball rolling asap mate.

Thanks for the replies.

I'm not on a major cycle... blast and cruise throughout the year. It's all particularly galling now because she was the one who used to do all of my jabs (she is a Nurse). Now all of a sudden it's a problem now I have a new gf. But, as has been said, they seem to lose it when we move on.

I think I could make a reasonable case in court and, if I am honest, I'm sticking to my guns with respect to my choices. If there was evidence of it causing a problem I would not think for a second about giving it up. But as I am actually a NICER human being and Dad being on some form of testosterone it's hard for me to even think about the alternative (going back onto anti-Depressants).

If I give into her demands now, it also looks like I am admitting that there is something wrong with using them. I'm not going to fight her on the moral grounds with this; I'll try and stick to the medical evidence and see what the Courts decide. If anything it will make the law a little clearer for guys in my position.

It's not like I'm a gym rat; I'm a national strongman champ for goodness sakes. I compete at a very high level. My kids think I'm a hero. Can't let them see their Dad be reduced to a depressive wreck.

I'm literally waiting on a contact order for supervised visits at a centre. It will have to do for now. I need to be seen to be spending time with my boys even if it is supervised. At least I'm making an effort right?

As for other stuff, no doubt I'll be a very active forum user!

The trouble you have is you are dealing with people in court who have no knowledge of the pharmacuticals that you are using and will have at best a prejudiced view in my opinion.

Im not saying give up the gear however be prepared to face the fact that it will make things more complicated for you.

I have checked the following har strand testing company - www.aleretoxicology.co.uk - and they do not appear to be able to test for steriods.

Regards,

Dave

Thanks for looking into this.

As far as I know, only a blood test can find metabolites from steroids.

I've decided to come off and face the consequences in my strongman career. If it means I see my kids, it's a worthy sacrifice.