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Hi all
I wonder if anyone can help please, my apokogies for a lengthy message.. I have a CAO for my daughter for every other weekend and Wed from 4pm to 8pm. Mother has always been categorically against sleepovers on school nights, daughter has always expressed a wish to see me more. Last year in May my now 13 year old daughter went for a walk with my wife, broke down in tears and told her mother has been emotionally and verbally abusive, she calls her names like pathetic or weirdo, swears at her, says she wont need to come see her father anymore when she is 16, that her siblings (on my side) are not her real siblings that she loves her mother but is scared of her and that noone will ever believe her because her mother is very nice in front of other people. She then asked for us to apply to court for 50 50 because she wants to get away from there and be with us more, but we were not allowed to disclose the request came from her. So we approached the mother, requesting to attend mediation, our requests were denied on the basis that it will be too disruptive and that she will be 16 soon and will want to go to festivals with friends... then 3 months later my daughter told us her mother has also been physically abusive, got very upset and refused to return home to her mother. I made a call to the social services and the police and retained her in my care, against the order. Police arrived interviewed my daughter who said she is happy with me and doesnt want to go home. Her mother got a solicitor and we both applied to court for an emergency hearing, as a result because I had no evidence, only what my daughter told me, she was sent back home to her mother. She was interviewed by the social worker the same evening, who she disclosed the allegations to and wad just encouraged to speak to her mother openly. she was put in child in need plan. We then had a hearing and an ssessment was issued by social services that stated that mother said daughter exaggerated everything , that they have no questions about her parenting and that our contact order to remain the same. Since then my daughter has been put on child in need plan and allocated a new social worker, my daughter is now back in the house of the abuser, she refused to disclose anything again to the new social worker until recently when she said she hopes her mother doesnt behave like she did in the past. She has also been asked if she wanted to see her dad more in front of her mother and she sheepishly said maybe a wednesday overnight. She later told me when she got home from.school that day her mother told her why would you turn against your own mother. My daughter finally told the social worker last week that yes mother has been abusive in the past, but not anymore and thag she was coached to say to social workers that she does not want to stay with me more. Mother and her solicitor now pressuring for the child in need to end as it is voluntary. Social worker send us an email saying child expressed a wish to stay Wed overnight. A new assessment hasn't been asked by Court , even though I emailed them twice now and so did the new social worker! and if the old assessment is used at the final hearing, even though it says there that child expressed a wish to see other parent 50 50 for some reason they recomended for the old order to remain the same. The new social worker has actually apologised (verbally) to me about the old report.
Question is, what on earth do I do now? Social services only just received a police report for when my daughter told them about the abuse, but they won't do anything about it because "allegations have been investigated by the first social worker already". New assessment is not being written, Court hasn't responded to my emails. How do I request for a new assessment? How do I challenge their initial recommendation?? And how do I help my child and get her away from the abuse, even if it is for 50%of the time. I live 15 minutes away from her and have my own flexible business, so will have no issues with school runs, She also told school and social worker she has a good relationship with me and I am the one she talks to, not her mother. School is not concerned with anything because my daughters attendance and marks are good.
Do I hire a solicitor or barrister? I am not sure how to proceed. I have a pre trial hearing in March and a 2 day final hearing in April.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Hi,
am a little confused with the info. So an emergency hearing happened, court ordered you send child back to mum and follow current order. and then you made a fresh application to court and first hearing is in March?
@bill337
Hi I'm sorry, yes we both applied to Court while she was in my care, I applied for 50 50, she applied for the child to be returned to her care. We had an emergency hearing , the child was returned, then we had the first hearing a month later (october) regarding the 50 50 issue and were ordered to write A4 statements and for the social worker who wrote the very first assessment (after meeting my child just once) to also be present at the final hearing, which is in April. At the time I had no police report and no evidence of abuse, mother said I made it all up, SC report was biased towards mother, but the child was still pit on a Child in need plan, just in case I guess? Im just not sure how to approach this, the new social worker discovered much more, but they are being very neutral, are not making any new recommendations etc and I am not sure how to proceed.
hi,
up till now have you had a lawyer representing you? social workers/Cafcass usually state that if there is anything in their reports that you disagree with, have to let court know about it and discuss it with them. If you think they have not listened to your child's wishes/views properly, should raise in court and challenge it. about your earlier post about mother opposing overnights during the week; that shouldn't be an issue really. my experience with the courts/Cafcass was that as soon as a child starts nursery, it's easier for them to allow overnight stays during the week. If you don't live very far away and you can manage the school runs then I don't think that would be an issue. I have a 3 year old who is staying overnight mid-week, along with older kids who are in primary school.
All I can suggest is you could still argue for 50/50 arrangement or as much time as possible to spend with child, and explain how arrangement would be in childs best interests. do you spend any extra time with child during school/summer holidays?
@bill337
Hi, I tried to be LiP, but the other party has a lawyer and a barrister, and I read some scary stories about final hearings and cross examination, so even though its my 3rd time in Court I feel intimidated as it has never gone to final hearing before. I am also desperate to help my daughter, I don't want to see her that upset ever again and I feel helpless at the moment because everyone seems to have moved on from my daughters allegations. She is 13 so she should be able to speak freely about who she wants to see and live with, but she has been controlled and manipulated by her mother and she is not brave enough to speak out and disobey her. She did tell the social worker that mother instructed her to say she doesn't want to stay with me more, but social worker didn't seem to take much notice. The judge follows their advice and my worry is because there is no new assessment stating my daughter wants more contact they will just follow the wrong recommendations on the previous assessment. Can I request a new assessment at the pretrial hearing?
hi,
if your case is complicated, then you could hire a barrister to represent you. You can have a look on the direct access portal: https://www.directaccessportal.co.uk/search/1/barrister
you could ask them for another assessment, but I think it would be up to them to decide if its necessary or not. if you hit a brick wall with all this, there is always the option to wait a couple of months, try mediation with mother to get more time with child. if that fails, could return to court to vary your order, for child to spend more time with you.
@bill337
Hi, thank you, think we gonna have to do that, although the prices are so high.. We already tried mediation, mother is categorically against any additional contact on school nights, without any actual reason. This is what I am trying to do now, vary the current order... I do have my daughter additional times over holidays, yes, but she said to me she wants more and she in unhappy in her mothers house, she misses her siblings here and she wants to see us all more... She is 13, she has said that to her mother, but was told to forget about it.
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