Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, looking for help or advice,been separated for just over one year, ex is using my son as a weapon, i have my son 5 days a week so she can go to work, but i also work full time and i still pay her £300 a mouth to live in are house,one of verbal agreements was she could stay in the house as long as a boyfriend could not sleep in the house, well i found she broke that agreement on Christmas Eve , so i confronted her by text, witch wasn't the best move but! anyway i asked her to sell the house as per are agreement ,but now she's gone to the solicitor and she has my son with no contact,so my question is how easy is it to get joint custody and a perental responsibility agreement, cheers for any help or advice Karl
Hi, Thanks for your reply, would have got back last night but didn't think anyone would reply on new years eve, anyway we were never married but we did own and live together for fifteen years and yes i am on birth certificate as the father cheers
Hi there
The problem is that she is resident in the house and if it is jointly owned then she has the right to stay in there.
I would advise that you use mediation to try and get some agreement about the property and contact with your child. This is the accepted first step in situation like yours and is now compulsory before court action can be taken. Here's a link to the mediation website
www.nfm.org.uk
If she won't reinstate contact through mediation then the only option is for you to apply to court for a child arrangements order. Unless there are serious risk of harm to your child it would be extremely difficult to get the court to transfer residence to you.
If your child was born after December 2003 then you will have Parental Responsibility regardless of whether you were married or not. However if your son was born before this date then you do not have PR and would need to apply for that either with her agreement by a Parental Responsibility Agreement or through court when/if you apply to court.
As there is issue over the property it would be advisable to get some legal advice yourself. Good luck.
Hi, thanks for reply, so do i get parental responsibility automaticaly as my is only two or do i still have to apply for it, ref custady i was only looking for joint custady as i want my son not to suffer and need to stop my ex partner from using him agaist me, cheers
As your son is only two, because you are named on the birth certificate you automatically have PR.
Joint residency may be possible, but you will have to act quickly if she has stopped all contact. You would apply for a Child Arrangements Order with shared care defined within it.
Hi,
As NJ has said as your child was born after 2003 and you are named on birth cert you have PR, so you don't need to apply.
Nj is also right that as the home is mortgaged in both names then your ex is within her rights to stay in the home, you will be responsible for half the mortgage and any insurance policies placed on it and child maintenance.
I would try and get an appointment with mediation before anything else and see if you can resolve things, I would have thought the fact that your ex works and you care for your child to enable this whe would be willing to discuss this.
GTTS
What would you say the best way to go about it, as she has already got solictor involved already,
As advised in above posts I think your first step should be mediation to try and get this sorted out.
As far as contact is concerned mediation is compulsory before court action can be taken. If she refuses to attend or mediation is unsuccessful then the mediator will sign the form for you to apply to court.
You can also discuss the property situation at mediation.
Good luck.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.