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Hello, I was hoping someone may be able to offer some advice!
My husband currently has a Court Order for indirect contact by way of letters with his two children. This is to be reviewed in June to move forward with direct contact.
In the Order it states "There should be indirect contact between the father and children by way of letter/card once a month and the mother to encourage a reply to the fathers letters and cards within a fortnight of receiving them".
Last month he sent his first letter by special delivery (only as his ex previously claimed majority of items sent over the last 4 years somehow never made it to her...). It took her 9 days to collect from the sorting office and only after he contacted her solicitor. She then used this date as the date she "received" them. On the exact 2 week deadline she informed her solicitor she had posted a reply. My husband didn't receive them for a whole week and again only after prompting her solicitor (even though they had a first class stamp). This left my husband with 2 days to form a considered reply, which he found quite difficult due to work commitments etc.
This month he agreed with her solicitor to send letters by normal first class (he has obtained proof of postage) with the agreement his ex lets him know as soon as she receives them. Well apparently now first class took 4 working days... We are fully expecting the same conduct this month where by she waits until the very last day and claims to have posted a response but they somehow take a week plus to arrive.
It is clear she is lying and being deliberately difficult, but of course this can't be proven. So we were wondering whether my husband could write to the judge and ask for a small variation of the Court Order, simply to state that both parties are to obtain a proof of postage and swap a copy of the receipts? Then there can be complete transparency. Can a variation of the Order in this instance be as simple as the above, considering the case will be returning to court in June? Or for a variation would he need to make a new application to the court?? He doesn't want to appear overly stringent and inflexible but it does feel she is again using this period of indirect contact as a game (similar conduct as to why contact broke down) and it's frustrating for my husband as it is so important to him. You don't think the judge would view him in a bad light for requesting a variation for these reasons, do you?
If you have any advice, it would be so helpful 😉
Hi there
You can try writing to the judge that made the interim order to explain your problem and ask if the order can be defined to include some form of proof of posting, or at least a letter from the court to ask her to be more pro active in exchanging letters.
Or alternatively you can make an application under the existing case using form C2, you would be applying for new directions in the existing case, rather than an application to vary the order, so in that instance you would be given a date to return to court to address the issues, there is a charge for this.
Awesome, thanks Mojo, you're so knowledgeable!
In that case if the same does occur this month he'll write to the judge just asking if the order can be more defined. We can't really afford to pay for new directions to be honest as they have "agreed" to attend mediation to discuss direct contact and we have had to pay almost double what he paid for his MIAM with a different mediator for another individual session and of course have the cost of the joint sessions to consider (amusingly his ex is now ignoring contact from this mediator and we are wondering whether she may pull out).
Can I just ask, if he is writing to the judge to request the order be more defined should he be including corresponce between himself/ex and himself/her solicitor to demonstrate her actions? Would this be completely inappropriate or is this correspondence without prejudice (not that any of it has been marked as such)?
In your personal opinion do you think it would be unreasonable of him to write to the judge regarding the order? He really doesn't want to appear like hes being stringent or precious over time scales, but at the same time is quite frustrated and needs more time to write a response to his children then just a few days.
I certainly don't think it would be unreasonable to write to the judge asking for urgent new directions, if the judge is good they would bring both parties back to court, if they felt that the order they put in place was being thwarted....a not so good judge would probably direct you to apply and pay using the C2 form . It's impossible to say what they would do, but as I said, if they chose not to do anything you still have the option of submitting an application for.new directions anyway.
If you decide to write to the judge, I would request an urgent return to court for new directions, or for the judge to write to the other party to request that they are more proactive in encouraging and promoting a timely response. You can attach correspondence between you, her and her solicitor, or you could refer to them and attach only the most important of them.
You should be able to check the date of postage on the franking mark on the envelope.
Thats brilliant, thank you so much for your advice. It's so reassuring to hear that it wouldn't be unreasonable; you start to doubt yourself sometimes.
Is there any way the judge can simply amend the order and then send to both parties or does it definitely require a hearing to be held?
I thought there would be date on the envelope too but somehow it has been franked without a date?! My husband thinks she may have put it in the mail at work or something (wherever that may be, Im not too sure).
I don't think they can, but not 100% sure, Yoda will be around tomorrow and may be able to clarify that.
Wonderful, thanks Mojo! Have a lovely evening!
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