Vary a childs arrangement order

@mrstrange thank you , my son is still only 13 but will be 14 come September. 

I guess we shall see how things progress ,I have a MIAM video call on the 25th of this month .

I do have a contact number for my sons grandmother.I have text her recently expressing my concerns and told her something has to change. That I need to speak to my sons mother. I did also say that if she's not willing to discuss things , that I'd have to take it to mediation and the legal route . Which I don't want . No reply from her 🙁 .

@greysocks 

Sure. When you write a proposal to your ex, keep it simple and easy to adhere to. Focus on child arrangements and avoid accusations of safeguarding or wellfare issues that might make her defence and withdraw from mediation.

A Child Arrangements Order expires when the young person reaches the age of 18. However, you can only apply for a Child Arrangements Order for a child aged between 16-18 in exceptional circumstances. https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/residence/#:~:text=A%20Child%20Arrangements%20Order%20expires,16%2D18%20in%20exceptional%20circumstances.

as you have been through courts before, then your experienced. It is very common for dads to get every other weekend, and half the school holidays if you want that. My children are much younger and I am seeking more contact with them. have already been through 2 court applications. was pretty straightforward.

I think the only issues you may face is when Cafcass talk to your child, he may be hesitant and say that he doesn't want to spend more time with you.

@warhammer If child arrangements were ordered when a child was a baby-infant, it's good practice to seek new orders when they start school or you take on a job that allow more time for care giving.

Handovers via school is one of the best way to make orders easier to adhere to and minimise the risks of children being withheld. However this arrangement is possible for some parents because of their work.

Overall I agree that Children's Act 1987 is outdated with practice directions that need to be overhauled to speed up the court process.

FHDRA and DRA that are heard by legal advisers without a lay magistrate can be a complete waste of time.

@mrstrange do they ever make a decision on a FHDRA hearing?

@warhammer If you are lucky, FHDRA is heard sat by a judge or legal adviser with a lay magistrate. This will give the court powers to make interim orders where views by both parties are contested(e.g. there is no consensus between you and your ex)

@warhammer

Thanks for the update!

Has a section 7 report been ordered?

Interesting that they ordered SIPIP again. For both of you? How many months ago did you do SIPIP?

@mrstrange CAFCASS safeguarding done and passed. we did SIPIP 7 years ago, the CAO has been in place 7 years. My ex went on and on about us going again. There were a couple of things in the first one that she liked and implemented and now won’t stop doing them, even though irrelevant, it’s a control thing with her. 

@warhammer I can see my situation being similar to yourself.  I think the aim is to ask for 50/50 . With anything better than the current arrangement being a bonus .

I wish you all the best and good luck 🤞

Slight update :

MIAM video call tomorrow. 

I've spoken to my son and asked of he's happy to spend more time at mine . I've told him if he's happy with that , I will try to arrange it . He is happy for me to arrange it but I get the feeling it's not something he would state in front of his mother .

I think he may have informed her of our conversation. 

This last week he has told me his mother is getting a new job with more child friendly hours . No night work. 

He also turned up sporting new trainers and clothes which was a huge shock .  As I usually buy all his gear and she buys nothing with the maintenance money I give her monthly .

I don't actually believe she is changing jobs,  and it will take more than a pair of adidas trainers to make me believe she has changed her ways .

I'll be interested to see what this first MIAM meeting brings .

Thanks for all the replies guys, is much appreciated.  Thank you 

@greysocks hi I presume you are having a joint MIAM. I wouldn’t say you want the change purely because of her job, needs to be what your son wants, and how will work better for him going forward. In my case I’m trying to say it’s a naturally progression, a move forward. Say it will help your ex as well having you available to provide support. Listen to what ex says and make notes, as this will give you idea on what she will be saying at court, you can then prepare for it. Good luck