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Hello all,
I have returned to Dadtalk in order to try and get some answers to some questions I have.
In December 2009 my ex partner started a new relationship with another man everything was fine between all 3 of us at the start however during a stay over at my house an incident happened which left my ex partner badly bruised by her new partner. She told me she wanted to leave him and left my son in my care. She returned back to her home town later that evening with her ex and sepereated with him, She never called the police and no statement was made, I took screenshots of her facebook page to confirm what had happened.
She everntually got back with this guy and returned with my son to be with him, Shortly after this I contacted a solicitor and filed for residency. A few courts cases passed and I was given the chance to provide a statement about the attack in March however my ex partner denied any allegation and said this was all down to jealously.
Anyway in June 2010 once again her partner attacked her, however this time she reported this to the police, as he caused some considertable damage to her property leaving her homeless as the landlord asked her to leave, she went to stay at her mothers address for a couple of days and then stayed with myself, However a few days later she informed me she was returning to him, I told her that under no circumstances was my son returning with her because of the violence involved in this relationship, Just before the attack in June my son informed me that my ex partner had cut her new partner with a knife leaving him scarred and having to attend the hospital.
She agreed to me having my son and later returned however a few days later she infored her solicitor that it was a temporary measure and that I should return him immediatley, I refused and kept hold of my son.
In July 2010 at another court appearance I filed another statement with new evidence and informed them that I wanted an interim residence order and that my ex's new partner should have no contact with my son, the Judge granted this residence order and informed me that my sons mother would not be allowed over night contact while with her present partner until an investigation had been concluded by CAFCASS.
I went to see CAFCASS and i told them about everything that had happened they were very supportive and informed me that they had recieved the police report back on the new partner this report contained distrubing entries from his previous relationship and because of this they would request that a fact finding hearing take place.
A couple of weeks later the ex partner and myself went for a drink and had a little chat about the situation and she asked if she could have her son overnight, I presumed that because I had already contacted the courts and made everything final then her partner would be very careful about starting trouble with my son around so I contacted my solicitor who contacted hers to sort something out, However I contacted CAFCASS and asked them what would be the outcome of this and they refused to agree to this, due to the nature of the allegations made and they felt that overnight contact at this time would not be suitable until a report was filled.
I informed my ex about there decision and she went mad at me, started accusing me of playing games and changing my mind, i informed her numerous times that it was not my choice it was CAFCASS however i was made out to be playing games and using my son as a weapon on facebook.
CAFCASS again called me a few days later and told me that they were contacting my sons school to ask about his progress and they would contact my ex partner to see if she was still filing a counter claim for residence, I dont know what was said on the Phone to her but the CAFCASS officer involved informed me that because of the allegations made and the seriosness of them, then it would be very unlikley that my son would return to his mother full time and if its proved in courts that my ex is protecting her partner over her son then she will not be given overnight contact full stop.
He informed me that the courts will have to deal with a contact order and that a fact finding hearing will take place, so that I can show the evidence i have obtained to support my allegations in court. The next court hearing is not until the begining of December and this is 2 months away, we were due to be in court in September but CAFCASS asked for more time to file the report.
Anyway I want to move away with my son to my home town, the mother does not currently live in this town, when she was evicted she went to live in another town with her partner so she has to travel to see her son, She has told the courts she enjoys 3 days contact a week when in fact its more like 1 day a fortnight.
If i was to ask permuission to move what would be the likley outcome to this, I want to move so i can recieve support from my family, I managed to get my son in school in his home town however there is nothing in this town to keep us here, his maternal grandparents reside in the same town however its very rare he sees them, I would be able to find employment in my home town because I would have family and friends to help me, My friend I had in this town have now all moved to blackpool and they have new families of there own.
I need some serious advice. I would be happy to return my son to this town for his mum to collect him I wouldnt expect her to travel the full distance to collect him. The mother currently lives 20 miles away from the town im now currently in if i were to move she would be 57 miles away, I would be of course willing to bring my son back to his town to see his family and allow her to collect him.
The mother has no contact with her family because of her new partner and what hes done the mother provided a statement to the courts to confirm what happened on both occasions.
I really need some advice on where i stand, I currently have a interim residency order.
well as im aware, there is no legal reason why you have to stay. you have the right to move about anywhere in the country and dont have to give the information over.
2 things will happen tho.
cafcass will change to different office which they may take a different view to your case, which could be good or bad.
and secondly the solicitor will have to change and also the court you use. as normally its the local court for the child is where most cases are heard.
this could cause a few possible issues and would also take time aswell. as im sure you are aware things take time to be passed over and also the judge that has been dealing with your case will have a knowledge of its history.
new judge and court wouldnt.
cafcass is the same aswell. would be passed over to the new local office. and ive heard stories of some officers sitting on the female side and persuading courts.
but you have right to move, you have residency and its in order so there no reason in the law you cant. and you dont even have to tell her, unless its in an order.
you are the main carer and its your right do what you feel is best for you and your child.
does your ex hassle you, and come to the house etc?
there could be a way of keeping her away with court help,
i do advise you do put a small offer for visiting for mum tho, eg a contact centre supervised.
CAFCASS have now concluded there full report and submitted this to the solicitors.
When I started this residency case I lived in a differenet town alltogether I then moved back to my sons place of birth but I kept my original Solicitor in my old town.
I would not be in a position to move until after all the court hearings have been completed, so I will either have full residence or Shared.
Yes my ex is always harrasing me, threatening to get me done in, smash my property even come and take my son and take him somewhere i wont find him. She has no option but to come to my house at the moment because although there is a interim residency order there is no contact order, We agreed at the last hearing that She would visist Every tuesday and friday however she has not stuck to this agreement, She normally visists every fortnight.
The judge refused to use a contact center at this time because she felt it was inappropiate however now CAFCASS have concluded there report they have informed me that it would be advantageous.
However were not back in court now until begining of December this is over 2 months away and I have tried to promote contact with the mother at every stage through the court process.
Would it be possible for me to ask to return to the courts early and ask for a contact agreement to be made, so she can collect her son from a contact center.
CAFCASS have stipulate that no overnight contact will be allowed until a fact finding hearing has been ordered.
Any further help would be appreciated.
i would try, get your solicitor to ask court to bring date forward under the grounds that the last order isnt being kept to on your ex part.
and say to the judge that she has threatened to take the child and you feel you are being harrased.
also with cafccass support they may also push for contact centre, normally courts listen to them.
if you feel like you are being harrased at any time file a non mol against her.
but you can say you dont feel that your ex coming to your house to see child is very good for you and always creates tension and possible threats towards you, any proof would be good.
with caffcass support it maybe best a contact centre is used for collect or supervised visits.
but speak to solicitor asap. get court date forward, and express your concerns over mother lack of effort to see child etc and you wish for something to formally agreed in court.
are you on face book i use it more than anything
I think (as you have stated) that you can use whichever solicitor you want - doesn't have to be in your home town, and the same goes for the court - in my case the court hearings were all in London which was convenient for my solicitor (better in my view, as I wasn't then paying for 2 hours of travel time for my solicitor for each hearing). I'm not sure what the situation is with Cafcass, but I would expect that it would stay with the same Cafcass officer to prevent work having to be done again (the cafcass officer in my case travelled to Lancashire to visit my ex).
It sounds as if you are trying to be too accomodating to your ex in agreeing in the first place to an overnight stay - all the professionals are saying that your son may be in danger if he stays overnight, your ex may not intend harm, but if there's an incident, your son may just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would suggest that you get the contact order to be as restrictive as possible, but with a clause saying '... plus any other contact as agreed between both parties'. That way, you can be flexible if you think it is appropriate, but if you have concerns, you can say no without going against the court order.
As far as moving, you can move to whereever you want in the UK unless the courts think you are only moving to restrict contact. It is obvious from what you say that you have a genuine reason to move, and furthermore, you are willing to go out of your way to assist contact, so I cannot see a court preventing you from moving. It certainly seems like a contact centre is the ideal solutuion (I use one and my daughter loves it and she feels very ssafe, though we now use if only for handover and verification that my ex is sober).
Keep us posted on how you are going on.
you are allowed to move anywhere within the jurisdiction, but you will have to provide contact details to the Court and Cafcass. However, your ex could file a prohibited steps order, basically prohibiting you from moving. Before you move, you may want to get contact arrangements finalised so you know where you stand re; travel, etc.
If you choose to move, it will be up to the Court whether or not they transfer the case. If they don't, then that makes a lot of travelling for you. If the Cafcass report is finished, then their work is done, unless they recommended that they do an addendum report following the factfinding hearing.
Regarding contact, it is very difficult to pull back, which is what you are thinking of with a contact centre. Most contact centres are only open every other Saturday and they are a means to an end, and someone will have to pay for it. If either of you are on legal aid certificate it may be paid for, but I'm not sure - I think the new LSC regs took that away. If your case is still open to Cafcass and they support a contact centre, ask them to refer you and then Cafcass could pay for it as they have service level agreements with contact centres across the UK.
Best of luck.
Contact centres usually are a means to an end, but they can make exceptions. The one I use is open twice a month (one a few miles away is every Saturday), and although usually, they are intended to only be for 6 months, I have been taking my daughter for contact for the last 4 years, and intend to continue doing so for at least 2 more years - longer if my daughter wants it. Cost is paid for by non-resident parent for the one I attend - not sure of the cost (I don't pay it 🙂 )
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