Urgent advice needed

I'd be cautious about breaking any orders as it could be used against you.  How did the court specify contact at half-term if you have supervised contact?  You could speak to the school about this and they will talk to your daughter.  If they have concerns they will do a child protection referral to Early Help.

Hi I’m new here and just really needed some advice . Sorry it’s a very long one ! Since splitting from my ex it hasn’t been easy to coparent our son together (who is now 7 but was 2 when we separated a week before lockdown). At first she was reasonable and we used to have a good friendship and were able to coparent our son very easy. However in 2021 she met her new partner and her behaviour started to change drastically and she got harder to talk to . after we split she would let me put our son to bed (as I had to move out the family home when we separated so didn’t get to do that anymore ) and we would sit and talk about our son and how he was doing in regards to us separating and how we were going to make it as normal as possible . She then all of a sudden out of nowhere was acting cold towards to me and wouldn’t let me put him to bed anymore which was fine as he was staying overnight with me at this point but she made me stand at the door to talk unlike coming inside like before . I later find out from my son she had a new partner and a few months later she text me about this stating he was coming for tea acting as though it was his first time meeting him . Ever since meeting him she has been awful to me and has done everything to stop me spending long periods of time with my son . When she was first dating said partner she used me to have our son all the time and would let me have him all the time because she needed me to but when I tried to keep this up after they moved in together she made this very difficult. Months passed and they got their own place together in a different area meaning I now have to travel far which is fine because I love my son but she never discussed this with me and moved him home and school without my permission but I was ok with this because I have to think what’s best for my son and his future and not how far I have to travel . I have always been reasonable but she always tries to find ways to do things to hurt/ annoy me and get a rise out of me but it never works . Fast forward to today I haven’t seen my son since July because she was trying to stop me seeing him in the six weeks holidays and saying I can see him on my days I have him when he’s at school (4 hours for 2 days a week ) . I put a court order in to have some arrangements because she has dictated to me the entire time we have been separated and if I disagreed I was being ‘aggressive’ and ‘confrontational’ . However before it got to go to court she put an emergency court order in saying she was scared for my son because I’m abusive and aggressive and abused her emotionally, financially and physically throughout our relationship ( she has never said this before ) she said I’m a danger and can be unpredictable and she is scared for my son and scared for my mental wellbeing and thinks I’m unstable! I have texts and evidence to prove otherwise and to prove all her lies (there is more but I don’t want anyone to potentially recognise me and the situation) We have been to court twice now and both times it has been about her allegations about me and no one has looked into her lies . Last time I went to court was last month and it was said that my son doesn’t want to see me he is adamant baring in mind I have videos of a day before she put emergency report in of him having the time of his life as he always does at my house laughing , joking and dancing he was happy as ever . To now he’s apparently petrified when he sees a car the same colour as mine and runs inside getting upset to his mum because he doesn’t want to see me ! I have never heard such lies in my life . We are now waiting for CAFCASS to do a section 7 and I can’t even see him in the meantime because it’s CAFCASS discretion if I see him or not and they are very much on my lying ex partners side . I suppose I just needed a rant really but is there anything to expect will it get worse? She is already making my son lie saying he doesn’t want to see me and I know this never ends well because if he says it to CAFCASS and keeps saying it they have to go with his wishes when I know he’s being made to feel that way . I feel as though I have no one to talk to and no one is listening. I miss my little boy more than anything and have seen him every week of his life since he has been born and to go from that to not seeing him for months I know it’ll be affecting him as much as me but I can’t find out how he’s doing or anything . I have tried talking to his school and they’re being very vague . I can’t go near or contact my ex or manipulative partner and I can’t go near the school either as she has made it so i can’t do any of this. I am absolutely beside myself and feel awful as a dad that I can’t see my little boy . 
Thank you and sorry for the long winded paragraph!

I'm sorry to hear of these difficulties.  It's a common story but that will be of little consolation to you.  When you next have a chat with Cafcass, be very child focussed and avoid slagging off your ex.  Tell them about the times you've had with your son and how much he's enjoyed himself.  Courts are very aware of parental alienation and they are also keen for children to know their fathers.  Talk to Cafcass about a parenting app such as AppClose and ask that communication between you and your ex is through the app.  It can be written into an order.  Are you representing yourself?  If so, there are some helpful guides on the AdviceNow.org.uk website relating to this and child contact.  In theory, your ex should discuss major decisions such as schooling with you but thats difficult in practice and no sanctions if it doesn't happen.  However, the school should be sending you copies of reports and keeping you informed of your son's progress.  You can ask them to if it's not happening.

@dadmod3 thank you for replying ! 
When I had my first CAFCASS interview before we went to court I was told that it should be child focused so I prepared what I was going to say and they just attacked me and my character and made it all about the allegations my ex was making and it was only towards the end was it made about or son briefly before the call ended . I tried to explain my side and how much I love being with my son and vice versa but they were only interested in interrogating me so im hoping this time around it is more child focused . All i am worried about is she’s is very manipulative and so is her partner and he told me they put pressure on him so I know he’s being made to act/ feel a certain way at their house and I feel like he’ll keep saying he doesn’t want to see me to please them and not what’s best for him . At the last court hearing she said she is willing to communicate with me through a parenting app however she has put sanctions in place to stop me contacting her and going near her property so I was wondering if this affects us speaking on a parenting app also as it’s still communicating with her which I am told I am not permitted to do or could get arrested.  I have a solicitor and She hasn’t had chance to say my side yet as the first court appearance was due to my exes emergency application then then last one was all about her also and because of her stating my child doesn’t want to see me we were in there no longer than 10 minutes and saying that there needs to be a section 7 and I am basically not getting contact with my little boy like I was told I would get last time . And I am very involved in the school I have always had separate parents evenings and reports and I always stay in contact about my sons progress. However since this has happened I feel as though they are being vague with telling me things about my son and the last time I spoke they wanted my solicitor to send the court report over not me . I feel as though my ex has a huge part in this as she goes to the school everyday and has contact with the teachers and I can only contact via email or phone as I am not allowed to go near there school after my ex has claimed my son doesn’t want to see me . I feel as though I don’t know who to talk to in meantime as my next court date is not till next year now and I’m struggling with the idea of not seeing my little boy till next year .

The court can order communications to be made through a parenting app and restrict communications to be solely in relation to your son.  It sounds as though you may need some support with your mental health as it's going to be a tough few months.  You could talk to your GP about this or refer yourself to Talking Therapies.  Please also remember the Samaritans on 116 123 if no-one else is available.

@dadmod3 

That would be perfect me as we have only ever discussed our son anyway and it always ends in an argument because she wants to dictate to me or her partner comes on her phone being abusive and mentioning our past relationship which is completely irrelevant to our son . I have been to my GP and he has given me advice and I have people to talk to if needed it’s just hard as never thought this would happen to my relationship with son . I have always been there and have always been an active dad since me and my ex separated but she has always made it hard for me to have the relationship I have always wanted to have with him . 
Thank you for your advice !

Hi,

please see these for dealing with section 7 interview:

Tips for talking to Cafcass

http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/tipsmeetingcafcass.html

Making best of Section 7 interview:

https://fnf.org.uk/lc5-cafcass-and-section-7/

@dadmod2 

sorry I have only just seen this ! 
Thank you I will check that out now .