[Solved] UPDATE FROM DIRECTIONS HEARING

First and foremost I would like to thanks everyone on this site again for all your support and kind words I really don't know what I would do without you all I suppose I come across as mega confident and know my stuff but in reality I don't 100% know what I'm doing half the time, thanks so much for the private messages of support too.

Yesterday was another steep learning curve I must admit I crapped my pants when my ex rocked up with a solicitor it really did knock me for six but on the flip side I learned so much and I will never ever let one of them disgusting human beings get under my skin again I am really looking forward to taking one on again if there is a next time.

On reflection I did walk out of there with a good solid order to move things forward I completely forgot I did fight like a dog and did pretty well considering. Once again massive respect to the judge I was lucky and got the same one I had last week who ordered that my girl resides with me.

He was excellent and blew that dragon grotbag solicitor out of the water at every turn I managed to shut the [censored] up on a few occasions if I knew what I knew now I would of gone to town on the cow bag.

I got off to a good start in the waiting area as I submitted my position statement 30 mins before court and the usher said I best give a copy to the other side and bowled over and gave the dragon my PS and she said I hope you got permission to submit that else the judge will throw it out at first glance which I replied "I'm an LIP love and I'll get away with it" her face screwed up like a bag of spanners it was a classic.

We got into court and straight off the bat she started harping on that all my allegations were a pack of lies and my ex refutes everything and implied that I was up to my same old tricks as the first case we had two years ago she then played the DV card and said I forced my ex into agreeing the fri-mon I've had for the past 18 months honestly it was so hard to keep my mouth shut but I did.

She then said the Police, social services and her completely useless health visitor had no concerns what so ever about our girls living arrangements and the Judge straight away discharged the order from last week and said my girl should reside with mum due to my step daughter missing her sister which I thought was fair enough, he then said I was to go down south pick our girl up and have her returned to home today at 1pm which I agreed to instantly I think they were all shocked at how reasonable I was being and it sort of threw her solicitor off which was cool, The judge then said MR Slim is obviously a devoted day and has had his girl every weekend for the past 18 months so he wanted that to carry on as of next weekend and I was to leave my girl with mum this weekend as she hadn't seen her for 3 weeks which I agreed to as well.

This is where I chimed in and said yes that's all good but I must have that written into todays order that I have my girl every weekend fri-sun/mon every weekend until they start school and nursey again then every other weekend overnight friday and drop off sat noon so both sisters can spend time together to which mum agreed and grotbags screwed her face up she was about to pipe in and the Judge said don't interupt him and gave her a bollocking which was a classic!

He then asked my ex if what I proposed was ok she agreed and the dragon tried to say I was forcing her to agree to which the judge said look the dad has said in his position statement he is happy with the way contact has gone on over the past 18 months and the mum is happy with it moving forward as dad has suggested so he will put in the order exactly what I suggested again she piped down.

The Judge then said we've obviously got 2 commited parents here and he sees this as a blip and we must work together to move things along and indicated to me that I'd be flogging a dead horse if I carried on with the case I also took that on the chin and agreed.

Now as I said I completely respected the judges decision drove 245 miles last night to pick my girl up and waited until she woke this morning and drove 245 miles back down and dropped her off at mums as promised, my ex was a a different person she was in tears thanking me for bringing our girl up saying it was the hardest thing ever not seeing our girl for 3 weeks and you can quess what my response was.......try 10 phucking months love! She was speechless. She then said I can't believe I've missed her first weeing on a potty to which I replied........yeah well I missed out on the scans, birth, sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking, talking, her first birth day again she couldnt issue a response.

One thing is for sure this has shocked the living sh*t out of her she does not like it the shoe being on the other foot, it's awful of me but I'm pleased finally a woman has experience what us dads feel like and I'm sure they'll think twice before doing the same sort of [censored] again, she then came out with my family have had to fork out £1300 for that solicitor and you can imagine my response again......."well try been out of pocket nearly £3k love. She then broke down in tears and said I just want things to go back to normal I'm sorry so sorry please can we go back to normal she admitted the drug taking and promised me she won't do it again blah blah blah she said I can check the house anytime I want obviously I refused but I do think this has made her buck her ideas up I could of gone to town on her but I'm soft as sh*t deep down and think the girl has had enough.

Now again I dont want to come across as harsh but I think we are equal now she took our girl away from me and put me in complete misery and I've done the same to her so we're even stevens we've got it written into the order this time my set times for having my girl not as before where it was just agreed so I do feel better yes the sisters should be together and my girl should live with mum but I get contact every weekend without fail.

All I've had all afternoon is messages saying thank you thank you for returning her ect I checked the maintenance calculator and messaged back what I should be paying legally which is more than half of what I've been paying and she agreed to me paying that amount I topped it up by £15 and we've agreed that amount from now on so thats all cool.

Throughout this our girl has not had a clue what has been going on she's had the best week holidaying with my family who have relished actually spending time with her most of them have only met her twice so some good has come out of all this [censored] and my ex knows I mean business from now on if I find anything else out about the lack of care to our girl I won't hesitate in doing it again but in all honesty I think thats it for good.

So moving forward I'm thinking let the next hearing happen see how things pan out between now and then, then get a mutually agreed order set in stone then call it a day which I'm sure the court will be pleased we're working together.

Once again thank you all for your help and support you're all absolute legends and if you need any help get in touch 🙂

Slim 😀