[Solved] unpredictable work hours / contact with children

i have two young children and recently broke up with their mother. she has moved into a rented flat in the building next door to where i live, less than a minute's walk from door to door. in fact i can see their front door from my front door.

my ex wrote to me saying that she wanted me to send her an email outlining my proposed plan for contact with the kids, saying she 'insisted' that i did it straight away. my proposed plan was that when my day off came around i would pick up my oldest child in the morning, she could stay with me overnight and i would return her to her mums house the following afternoon before the bedtime routine. i would spend time with my youngest child (who is still only 6 months old) when picking her up / dropping her off. i included a rota with details of my work pattern for the next six weeks.

my ex took nearly two weeks to reply, and when she did she said that she'd had a meeting with healthcare visitors, family law workers and the mental health team she is receiving treatment from. the letter had clearly been written by her solicitor and this team of professionals, and suggested that i see the children every alternate weekend. i wrote back saying that some of her proposals were reasonable but others were not acceptable and i would discuss with her during mediation.

since then she has said that she insists on me having a fixed two days to spend with the children which will remain the same every week, this is simply not possible with the work i do. she suggested in an email that it would be disruptive for my children to stay overnight with me during the week on irregular days because it would interrupt their routine, however my argument is that i have taken my child to toddler groups, gp appointments etc for years, i know the staff, i know where they are, i live next door.

twice in the past two weeks she has suggested that i have my daughter on my days off, then a few days later said that it's not possible and offered me a night during the week instead. what she is offering is for me to collect my child at around 5 or 6pm (after i've finished an early shift at work), spend a couple of hours with her and put her to bed, then get up the following morning and return her to her mums house at around 11 or 12. to me this is not reasonable as it drastically reduces the quality of our time together.

i sent her an email saying that the children have a right to a meaningful relationship with their father and that she is treating me like a babysitter.

it's v frustrating as on paper she is acting as though she's being perfectly reasonable, but she's changing her mind at the last minute and offering me solutions which are not workable for me and don't allow me any time to take my children out or spend any quality time with them.

oh and the best part is that the reason she had the meeting with all these professionals is because she has made a false allegation of "emotional domestic violence". this is coming from a woman who has physically attacked me on two occasions (on the second occasion i called the police who removed her from the flat), contacted friends of my family who she doesn't even know to slag me off and while we were living together i had to ask over and over again every single day to stop shouting and swearing at me in front of our kids and wait til they'd gone to bed

she is very good at creating a convincing audit trail, but the reality is very different. i need some advice please! 🙁