Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Morning Folks
Did not think she would break it so quick.
2nd visit yesterday of a phased introduction to gradually build to Grandson living with his Dad half the week.
It has been set out by the courts as to how this will proceed and how the Mother is the reintroduce Father son relationship
The 1st 2 visits were to happen i a mutual area and the Mother was to remain in the vicinity but not permitted to remain present during contact. My son allowed it last week due to the elapsed time since he last had contact and did not want to force a situation his son..She was bitter throughout but he ignored most the comments.
This weeks visit went to a whole new level. She turned up late, son called her she said there son had been crying all morning and did not want to come but they were on there way now..20 minutes late for a 2 hour visit. Her husband New baby also present she proceeded to follow father and son for 50mins of the visit and constantly referred to her husband as my Grandsons Daddy.
Eventually after asking her to leave the time left to them both she reluctantly left but not before telling there son "mommy and Daddy will be over there" The minute she left my Grandson said to his Daddy 2 "I dont want you to take me away", play time began and was going great till my son asked child " shall daddy help?" response from Child " your not my Daddy xxxx is my Daddy" How do you explain that to a 4 year old?
Father and son continued to bond and spoke about going to Daddy's house on next visit ..DADDy told Son about all his toys still being there in his old bedroom..Grandsons response " Mommy said you had given all my toys to xxx"
Looks like she truly is coaching and determined to completely screw this little boys head up.
Any advise on how to react to this as she is so bitter and twisted there will be no chance of talking things through.
x
I am really interested in any replies and advice you get to this as it is a similar situation to ours. My son doesn't have contact with his child due to the mother not allowing it but her boyfriend is also referred to as Daddy and my son is referred to as "that nasty man".
Hi
Is your Son going through the Courts?
Don,t know if you know of our long road to get to this stage. 18 long months..all i can say is the courts will eventually see the Mother for what she is you just have to be patient..
The Mother in our case has now got a penal notice attached to Child Arrangement Order to go straight to Committal in the event of a breach..
http://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/41549-contact-and-enforcement-victory-at-last?start=12#53486
x
Yes we are going through courts. It has been a long 22 months so far and still can't see any end in sight. Nobody seems to want to take a stance against her.
My Son was in a lucky position as we took the decision to forgo a Holiday and help with Costs for a Barrister . The opening line from the Barrister to the courts was " I,m sure you will agree My Client has been treated disgracefully and this needs clouser today" They agreed and dealt with it.
I think sometimes the courts will pass the ase around so as they hate making decisions..I,m almost sure there is now a time frame as to how long they can string it out..Think 26 weeeks springs to mind..Perhaps like we were advised at your next hearing ask to be listed for a full or Half day final hearing..xx
Hi Mom24,
Sadly my son had to resort to filming handovers...!
He also made up a kind of "Contact Report Form" which he fills out after every contact,supported by
lots of pictures and video clips.
For the last few weeks the ex was rather pleasant, which had an immediate effect on the child as my grandson
was a lot happier and contented in our presence.....this was also observed by the staff at the nursery.
However, the tide is turning once again and she is starting to be her normal hostile,nasty and wicked self.
In your case I would start to record everything, either in writing or otherwise as your son may need the evidence one day.
Take care
Kirsten
Hi Kirsten
This was only his 2nd contact and we had already noted up last weeks contact.
Looks like another call to Solicitor. Last words Barrister advised were " The minute she breaches order you file for Commital".
Perhaps another £75 letter from Solicitor reminding her of consequences will bring home the fact My son if needs be take her back to Court. We will also be asking that the same letter is sent to courts to put on File.
Why can she not see that the contact will take place and make this a easy transition for thier son..To scare a 4 year old is a disgraceful way to act she astounds me in her parenting skills or lack off..x
Hi Mom24,
Like you I have questioned the parenting skills, or lack off as you have aptly put it, many times over the last year.
Both my son (LnH) and I believe to know why the ex has turned back to being nasty again....because at handover
yesterday, my grandson was happy, smiling and waving at us when we said bye-bye (!!!)
She clearly didn't like it and one of today's comments to my son via text was " the boy is miserable " ....another one was
" I assume you won't be seeing the boy again " ....and so on.
I am not surprised the little boy is miserable being in such hostile atmosphere so everything positive that has happened
over the last few weeks is now completely undone.
Tc
Kirsten
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.